wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything,
and everybody believed in you.
Friday, March 2, 2012
wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?
I'm watching High School Musical 3 right now. I know it's a Friday night and I'm incredibly lame but I like Zac Efron and to be honest I didn't even know this movie existed. But it kind of makes me miss high school. I actually had a lot of fun in high school. It was a great time in my life. I didn't deal with a lot of the drama that others did. I mean sure I had my issues, we all do but I had a lot of fun. And I guess I just miss the things I used to do. You know, going to hockey games and getting Tim's before and then waiting for my wave and a phone call the moment they're outside to go to his house and have a snack before meeting everyone for a few drinks or chocolate chip cookies and milk hahaha.
Sometimes I just miss how simple life was back then.
Sometimes I just miss how simple life was back then.
but I do love you.
I don't like to be alone at night.
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right.
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes,
but I do love you.
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right.
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes,
but I do love you.
american southern history
I just finished my project on Southern USA Children's Literature. History of the American South is legitimately one of the most interesting classes I've ever taken. And I absolutely adore my prof. She is the cutest woman in the whole world. Like she is just the most typical cute, quiet historian. I just love her class. And she has the softest voice but she tries to sound so confident because she is so little but so brilliant.
One day this kid (who is probably twice the size of her and is convinced he knows more than anyone in the world about American history) tried to argue with her about something about the war and she just snapped right back at him. And like our whole class was like okay bud she has a PhD in American History I feel like she knows a thing or two and he wouldn't drop it and she actually stood up for herself and put him in his place and our whole class was like yaaay Lynn!! Because he is extremely annoying and it was perfect.
One day this kid (who is probably twice the size of her and is convinced he knows more than anyone in the world about American history) tried to argue with her about something about the war and she just snapped right back at him. And like our whole class was like okay bud she has a PhD in American History I feel like she knows a thing or two and he wouldn't drop it and she actually stood up for herself and put him in his place and our whole class was like yaaay Lynn!! Because he is extremely annoying and it was perfect.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
friends.
Speaking of friends. S and I have actually become a lot closer and I really appreciate that. I don't think she knows how much I treasure being friends with her. She's the only person I actually know that reads this. In fact, she may be the only person that reads my blog. I think it's because we can talk about the most ridiculously immature things and have an intelligent conversation moments later.
I also really appreciate that I can tell her anything and she won't be like wow, you're a disaster get your life together. She might think I'm right fucked but when I tell her things that I think are funny, she laughs. She doesn't get mad and say I'm a bad person who give me this judgemental look. And I appreciate that.
I was thinking about it the other day. Of who I'm good friends with that's a girl.
NB is a sweetheart and I love her but she's naive. And there are things about real life that she will never understand. And sometimes I need her naivety; it's refreshing.
HJR is a doll but she's gone for 6 months so that sucks. She is honestly such a great friend. She sends me messages asking me how I'm doing. If I'm any better about the number twelve and just checks on me to make sure I'm doing well in general.
ZG is hit and miss. She can be a really cool girl but she can also be super immature and kind of crazy. Like on Friday she flipped out on me when I got us a ride home and she tried to go to like 3 different houses and I didn't know the person and then I told her to grow up and stop being such a spaz and calm the fuck down and she flipped out. I also got a text from her today asking me if her and DK made out and I just laughed and said ask him. But she couldn't and then she got all defensive about EH. Oh well DK and I had a great convo about the situation.
ME is a good friend but our friendship is weird. She is misunderstood by a lot of people because she's used to getting her way. I think that's why we've been friends for so long, because I don't put up with her shit.
JP has the best heart of anyone I know. She is one of the most genuine people I've ever met. I'm not sure how this PD situation is going to go but I'm afraid because they're both important to me, but so is JL and that puts me in a terrible place.
I have other girl friends but for the most part this is the people I hang out with the most when I'm home. LG will probably always be a part of my life. And I have people like LW who's a good friend but she's more B's friend.
I tell S more than most people because I guess for some reason I trust her more than others. If she wanted to expose me, she could. But she hasn't so as of right now, she's probably one of my closest female friends.
I also really appreciate that I can tell her anything and she won't be like wow, you're a disaster get your life together. She might think I'm right fucked but when I tell her things that I think are funny, she laughs. She doesn't get mad and say I'm a bad person who give me this judgemental look. And I appreciate that.
I was thinking about it the other day. Of who I'm good friends with that's a girl.
NB is a sweetheart and I love her but she's naive. And there are things about real life that she will never understand. And sometimes I need her naivety; it's refreshing.
HJR is a doll but she's gone for 6 months so that sucks. She is honestly such a great friend. She sends me messages asking me how I'm doing. If I'm any better about the number twelve and just checks on me to make sure I'm doing well in general.
ZG is hit and miss. She can be a really cool girl but she can also be super immature and kind of crazy. Like on Friday she flipped out on me when I got us a ride home and she tried to go to like 3 different houses and I didn't know the person and then I told her to grow up and stop being such a spaz and calm the fuck down and she flipped out. I also got a text from her today asking me if her and DK made out and I just laughed and said ask him. But she couldn't and then she got all defensive about EH. Oh well DK and I had a great convo about the situation.
ME is a good friend but our friendship is weird. She is misunderstood by a lot of people because she's used to getting her way. I think that's why we've been friends for so long, because I don't put up with her shit.
JP has the best heart of anyone I know. She is one of the most genuine people I've ever met. I'm not sure how this PD situation is going to go but I'm afraid because they're both important to me, but so is JL and that puts me in a terrible place.
I have other girl friends but for the most part this is the people I hang out with the most when I'm home. LG will probably always be a part of my life. And I have people like LW who's a good friend but she's more B's friend.
I tell S more than most people because I guess for some reason I trust her more than others. If she wanted to expose me, she could. But she hasn't so as of right now, she's probably one of my closest female friends.
the difference between boys and girls.
I actually really love DK. We got in a pretty decent fight on Friday night. I was pretty upset with him and hurt that he'd believe that I'd say what he thought I said. Mostly because I'm pretty honest about most things. With me, you get what you get. I put on a pretty tough front most of the time, but once you have my heart you have it forever.
We fight a lot actually. I'd say pretty much any time we drink. But even when I'm not drinking and he is, we still fight so basically any time we hang out. But in the morning, we wake up and it's over and done with. We don't bitch about it or stay mad or whatever. I talked to him today and we had a great chat and it's so nice that the last time I talked to him I was losing it on him and the next time we're both best friends again.
That's the kind of people I like in my life. People that challenge me, that call me out on my bullshit. I don't want friends that beat around the bush and don't tell me the truth. I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear. I want you to tell me the truth. And he does. And I respect that.
We fight a lot actually. I'd say pretty much any time we drink. But even when I'm not drinking and he is, we still fight so basically any time we hang out. But in the morning, we wake up and it's over and done with. We don't bitch about it or stay mad or whatever. I talked to him today and we had a great chat and it's so nice that the last time I talked to him I was losing it on him and the next time we're both best friends again.
That's the kind of people I like in my life. People that challenge me, that call me out on my bullshit. I don't want friends that beat around the bush and don't tell me the truth. I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear. I want you to tell me the truth. And he does. And I respect that.
conceit.
Your religious views?
I don't know really. I've never cut myself if that's what you're asking.
Relationship with your father?
I love my daddy. He means the world to me. He has his flaws, but I do too. And at the end of the day, I know he wants what's best for me.
Relationship with your mother?
It's complicated. I love Momma. We weren't close for a very long time and there's some things she's done that I don't think I'll ever really get over but at the end of the day she's my mother and I love her and she always has my best interest at heart. She's probably the most self-less person I know. She loves more unconditionally than any person I've ever met, to a fault actually. And I learned that from her, which isn't always a good thing.
Is there someone in your life that you've been taking for granted?
I think that I take people for granted more than I'd like to. I wish I didn't but I know I do sometimes. I think we take for granted the people that mean the most to us because we just expect them to be there for us and to deal with out bullshit because we would for them.
Have you ever been bullied?
Yep, I had an eating disorder because of it. I got bullied quite a bit when I was younger and sadly, I started bullying people after I lived through that. I remember it clearly. Grade 6. KW called me tank and it caught on. A lot of people called me that and I've never been tiny and I have never been content with my size. And at some point in high school I remember him telling me that I should be proud of who I become and that I look much better but it still stayed with me. And at that point, I had an eating disorder already. Words are scary, kids are mean.
What is your sexuality?
I like boys. That's all there is too it.
Who makes you the happiest?
Mouse. Without a doubt. No one and nothing can cheer me up like the moment I see her smile or hear her laugh.
What is the most heroic thing you've ever done?
I honestly don't know. I'm not very heroic. The most courageous thing I've ever done is tell number twelve the truth. Or apologizing to KM. Those were two of the most difficult things I've ever done.
What calms you down when you're upset?
The gym. Writing. Laying in the arms of a certain boy.
Have you ever fallen in love?
Depends on the day you ask me. Today, I'd say yes. Tomorrow I might not admit it.
Had your heart broken?
Oh yes. I think it's a different kind of break when it's a boy you love. That's more like a shatter your heart. But I think we break peoples hearts more than we want. We put little chips and cracks in and eventually the person who starts to glue all those chips back together breaks it. I am a firm believer that only one person has truly broken my heart. But to be fair, as has been pointed out to be before, he's really the only person I've given the ability/opportunity to break my heart because I don't let people in.
Have you been betrayed in the past?
Haven't we all? We've all been betrayed and we've all betrayed.
Who do you miss the most?
I don't actually know really.
Have you ever attempted suicide?
Yes. In essence it's why I've held on to my friendship with LG as long as I have. I probably wouldn't have put up with some of her shit had she not saved my life. I tried more than once. It's a pretty scary place to be. To know that at any moment, you could take your own life. I'm glad I'm not there any more and I hope that I never feel like that again. And I'd like to think that this time I'd be smarter, stronger. I'd talk to someone and take the proper steps to deal with it in a more positive way. But in all honesty, I don't really let people close enough for that.
Share a secret?
There are many things I want in this life. I'm an incredibly selfish person and I know that. But at the end of the day, all I really want in life is to find someone that loves me as unconditionally as I love them.
I'm born Catholic. I don't really agree with some of the Catholic beliefs but at the same time I'm really glad I was raised Catholic. My Momma used to make us go to church and for awhile I hated it but I understand why she did it. She wanted us to feel a sense of community and she wanted us to have a religious background, even if we didn't have the same beliefs. I appreciate that because even though I wouldn't consider myself a devout Catholic, it's nice to have faith in something. And there's things in my life that have happened to me that have made me believe in God.
Have you ever self-harmed? Why?I don't know really. I've never cut myself if that's what you're asking.
Relationship with your father?
I love my daddy. He means the world to me. He has his flaws, but I do too. And at the end of the day, I know he wants what's best for me.
Relationship with your mother?
It's complicated. I love Momma. We weren't close for a very long time and there's some things she's done that I don't think I'll ever really get over but at the end of the day she's my mother and I love her and she always has my best interest at heart. She's probably the most self-less person I know. She loves more unconditionally than any person I've ever met, to a fault actually. And I learned that from her, which isn't always a good thing.
Is there someone in your life that you've been taking for granted?
I think that I take people for granted more than I'd like to. I wish I didn't but I know I do sometimes. I think we take for granted the people that mean the most to us because we just expect them to be there for us and to deal with out bullshit because we would for them.
Have you ever been bullied?
Yep, I had an eating disorder because of it. I got bullied quite a bit when I was younger and sadly, I started bullying people after I lived through that. I remember it clearly. Grade 6. KW called me tank and it caught on. A lot of people called me that and I've never been tiny and I have never been content with my size. And at some point in high school I remember him telling me that I should be proud of who I become and that I look much better but it still stayed with me. And at that point, I had an eating disorder already. Words are scary, kids are mean.
What is your sexuality?
I like boys. That's all there is too it.
Who makes you the happiest?
Mouse. Without a doubt. No one and nothing can cheer me up like the moment I see her smile or hear her laugh.
What is the most heroic thing you've ever done?
I honestly don't know. I'm not very heroic. The most courageous thing I've ever done is tell number twelve the truth. Or apologizing to KM. Those were two of the most difficult things I've ever done.
What calms you down when you're upset?
The gym. Writing. Laying in the arms of a certain boy.
Have you ever fallen in love?
Depends on the day you ask me. Today, I'd say yes. Tomorrow I might not admit it.
Had your heart broken?
Oh yes. I think it's a different kind of break when it's a boy you love. That's more like a shatter your heart. But I think we break peoples hearts more than we want. We put little chips and cracks in and eventually the person who starts to glue all those chips back together breaks it. I am a firm believer that only one person has truly broken my heart. But to be fair, as has been pointed out to be before, he's really the only person I've given the ability/opportunity to break my heart because I don't let people in.
Have you been betrayed in the past?
Haven't we all? We've all been betrayed and we've all betrayed.
Who do you miss the most?
I don't actually know really.
Have you ever attempted suicide?
Yes. In essence it's why I've held on to my friendship with LG as long as I have. I probably wouldn't have put up with some of her shit had she not saved my life. I tried more than once. It's a pretty scary place to be. To know that at any moment, you could take your own life. I'm glad I'm not there any more and I hope that I never feel like that again. And I'd like to think that this time I'd be smarter, stronger. I'd talk to someone and take the proper steps to deal with it in a more positive way. But in all honesty, I don't really let people close enough for that.
Share a secret?
There are many things I want in this life. I'm an incredibly selfish person and I know that. But at the end of the day, all I really want in life is to find someone that loves me as unconditionally as I love them.
me, me me.
I'm finally starting to feel better due to what I presume is excessive sleep/rest. I'm not happy with how much school I've missed this week but I'm finally feeling better which was important. I know it's important for me to make time for myself thus I am quite satisfied with this week. I really want to focus more on myself. I haven't taken enough time to do the things that are important to me. I've been neglecting school and neglecting me time and spending too much time drinking and partying. It's understandable because I need to spend time with my friends etc. But I want to devote some more time to myself.
oscar wilde.
"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
insecure.
I'm not gay but if I were I wouldn't allow people to treat me like they're better than me. I wouldn't allow them to look down on me and tell me that how I feel and who I love is wrong. I wouldn't want to hide who I am because I was afraid of what people might think, what they might say. I have gay friends and they are some of the greatest people I know. Who cares that they like the same sex as themselves? It doesn't make them any less of a person.
It's usually people that are least secure in their sexuality that hate gay people. And that's what it is, i's a hate crime to do or say horrible things about those people. If you were content in your own sexuality, it wouldn't bother you because for the most part, they're pretty respectful of people who are heterosexual unless they see through your insecurities.
It's usually people that are least secure in their sexuality that hate gay people. And that's what it is, i's a hate crime to do or say horrible things about those people. If you were content in your own sexuality, it wouldn't bother you because for the most part, they're pretty respectful of people who are heterosexual unless they see through your insecurities.
apparently I'm opinionated today.
That picture actually bothers me so much. I mean two gay people can't have kids that are genetically mutated because they cannot reproduce without both reproductive organs. Thus, they need a surrogate or a sperm/egg donation. First cousins have huge chances of producing mentally retarded children and all sorts of other genetic defects because they are the same blood. That's natural selection. Homosexuality is not natural selection. There is obviously some reason the homosexuality gene has survived all these years, who cares what the reason is. They still produce very healthy, happy children that are no burden to society.
Don't get me wrong, I have no issues when there are mentally handicapped children or children born with genetic abnormalities just because. But I do think that women over 40 who reproduce are just being selfish. There are so many children who need homes, who need to be adopted because a 16 or 17 year old girl had an accident and wants her baby to be raised by a good family that can't or shouldn't reproduce. I only think that handicapped children are a burden to society when it could easily have been prevented. I mean really though. If I found out that I could never have kids, I probably wouldn't be too upset. When my sister found out she may never have kids, she was devastated. And lucky as we are to have mouse, and another baby on the way, adoption became a very viable option for them. She wanted to adopt children that needed a home. They tried to adopt children who needed a home (don't get me on the foster care rant too because that system is a croc of shit also). And we are so lucky to have mouse healthy and happy but she had chances to not be healthy. And I thought it was selfish of her to think of having children when there was a high chance there'd be something wrong or she wouldn't survive. Mouse was premature and not healthy when she was born and it scared the hell out of all of us. I can't imagine my life without her now but I just think it's selfish to put a) yourself though that. b) that child through that. c) family and friends. and d) society.
Don't get me wrong, I have no issues when there are mentally handicapped children or children born with genetic abnormalities just because. But I do think that women over 40 who reproduce are just being selfish. There are so many children who need homes, who need to be adopted because a 16 or 17 year old girl had an accident and wants her baby to be raised by a good family that can't or shouldn't reproduce. I only think that handicapped children are a burden to society when it could easily have been prevented. I mean really though. If I found out that I could never have kids, I probably wouldn't be too upset. When my sister found out she may never have kids, she was devastated. And lucky as we are to have mouse, and another baby on the way, adoption became a very viable option for them. She wanted to adopt children that needed a home. They tried to adopt children who needed a home (don't get me on the foster care rant too because that system is a croc of shit also). And we are so lucky to have mouse healthy and happy but she had chances to not be healthy. And I thought it was selfish of her to think of having children when there was a high chance there'd be something wrong or she wouldn't survive. Mouse was premature and not healthy when she was born and it scared the hell out of all of us. I can't imagine my life without her now but I just think it's selfish to put a) yourself though that. b) that child through that. c) family and friends. and d) society.
this disgusts me.
Who gives a flying fuck who wants to marry someone the same sex as them? What are they doing wrong to you? I don't understand how it affects the heterosexual population. Like did some heterosexual fall in love with a homosexual and decide to just turn this into a crusade against someone that broke their heart? Love is love. Whether you're green, purple, yellow, male or female. If you're 18 and this is what you want, you're an adult capable of making your own decisions. Who has the right to tell you otherwise?
People complain about PDA and garbage like that. They don't want their children to see that kind of stuff. Well quite frankly I don't want my child (hypothetical of course) to see any pda. It doesn't matter to me what their sexual orientation is, there's a place for sexuality and a place to conduct yourself respectfully. So who gives a fuck if a girl likes girls or a boy likes boys. It has no bearing on anybody but those two people.
if walls could talk I'd be the prince of nothing charming.
You love like you wanted fight, like you need it tonight baby it's beautiful, oh you scream like a gun in the night yeah you're starting a fire, it's like you don't know, baby you're beautiful.
day of rants.
The more and more I learn about mental health the more and more interested in it I find myself and the more and more controversial it is. Like I actually can't believe it. We're learning about ECT versus anti-depressants and the placebo effects for both and it's just so fascinating. I mean there is some great arguments with supporting evidence for all of them. I can't even believe it.
My biggest issue with it all is jumping into such intense and invasive and permanent treatments right off the bat. I think there needs to be a progressive movement from counselling to drug therapy or ECT based on the patient. I think the biggest issue is that family doctors can prescribe these drugs while psychologists cannot. I get that psychologists don't go to med school, but they still have a doctorate degree in PSYCHOLOGY. Not general medicine. Which means that though they didn't go to med school to learn about how to treat the common cough or a broken foot or birth control, they know a whole lot more about the brain, the mind and how it works that doctors that did.
I am especially sensitive when it comes to children. I've read about children 34 months old have ECT. And that rates of this treatment in 5-6 year olds are growing faster than any other population. As well as feeding kids anti-depressants at such young ages. Worst of all is ADD and ADHD medications. They are so incredibly over-prescribed. I mean think about it this way. When you get a new puppy, they're considered a puppy for 2-3 years which allows them to be disciplined but still get away with chewing things they shouldn't, sometimes peeing when they're not outside, having too much energy etc. But at the end of the day we go, oh they're just a puppy give them a break. If you think about their age in dog terms that means they are somewhere between the ages of 14-21 for how long we allow them to "be a puppy".
Look at a child. Maybe a 6 year old acts out in class, has trouble focusing, is interruptive or energetic, etc. Immediately the kid is labelled as ADD or ADHD and we tranquillize the kid. I was a child and I know there were days my parents should have smacked me up the side of the head for being such a shit disturber but instead they went, "b this is unacceptable behaviour, discussed why it was unacceptable and told me to go do something more productive or that required fresh air or positive physical/mental stimulation". They didn't tranquillize me. And worst of all, I had a pretty good childhood. I wasn't dealing with my parents ignoring me or not wanting me etc. The children that are acting out probably want attention because they're being neglected at home or there's some sort of bigger issue going on.
Even now I can't focus some days and I have too much energy and I'm disruptive and chatty etc. I bet if you put me on a depressant I'd be less disruptive and more focused too. Of course I would! You'd be tranquillizing me.
I've always thought about counselling after my ed degree. And the more and more I learn in this class, the more I want to get a counselling/psychology degree. I want to be able to talk to these children, get to know them, find out where this behaviour is coming from. Don't get me wrong, I know that medication IS the answer for some people. It saves lives and it drastically improves others. But it also increase suicide rates in certain populations, it's got terrible side-effects and major withdrawal issues. I just think that there needs to be more involvement of treatments OTHER than drugs. And sure that's more time-consuming and less cost-effective. But isn't these people, these children's lives more important? Shouldn't we care more about their well being than the few dollars made or saved?
If we want our society, our country to succeed, these children are our future. And I mean we all fit at least 10 diagnoses on the DSM. We have to take the time and effort and money to help these people become productive members of society so that we have a future.
My biggest issue with it all is jumping into such intense and invasive and permanent treatments right off the bat. I think there needs to be a progressive movement from counselling to drug therapy or ECT based on the patient. I think the biggest issue is that family doctors can prescribe these drugs while psychologists cannot. I get that psychologists don't go to med school, but they still have a doctorate degree in PSYCHOLOGY. Not general medicine. Which means that though they didn't go to med school to learn about how to treat the common cough or a broken foot or birth control, they know a whole lot more about the brain, the mind and how it works that doctors that did.
I am especially sensitive when it comes to children. I've read about children 34 months old have ECT. And that rates of this treatment in 5-6 year olds are growing faster than any other population. As well as feeding kids anti-depressants at such young ages. Worst of all is ADD and ADHD medications. They are so incredibly over-prescribed. I mean think about it this way. When you get a new puppy, they're considered a puppy for 2-3 years which allows them to be disciplined but still get away with chewing things they shouldn't, sometimes peeing when they're not outside, having too much energy etc. But at the end of the day we go, oh they're just a puppy give them a break. If you think about their age in dog terms that means they are somewhere between the ages of 14-21 for how long we allow them to "be a puppy".
Look at a child. Maybe a 6 year old acts out in class, has trouble focusing, is interruptive or energetic, etc. Immediately the kid is labelled as ADD or ADHD and we tranquillize the kid. I was a child and I know there were days my parents should have smacked me up the side of the head for being such a shit disturber but instead they went, "b this is unacceptable behaviour, discussed why it was unacceptable and told me to go do something more productive or that required fresh air or positive physical/mental stimulation". They didn't tranquillize me. And worst of all, I had a pretty good childhood. I wasn't dealing with my parents ignoring me or not wanting me etc. The children that are acting out probably want attention because they're being neglected at home or there's some sort of bigger issue going on.
Even now I can't focus some days and I have too much energy and I'm disruptive and chatty etc. I bet if you put me on a depressant I'd be less disruptive and more focused too. Of course I would! You'd be tranquillizing me.
I've always thought about counselling after my ed degree. And the more and more I learn in this class, the more I want to get a counselling/psychology degree. I want to be able to talk to these children, get to know them, find out where this behaviour is coming from. Don't get me wrong, I know that medication IS the answer for some people. It saves lives and it drastically improves others. But it also increase suicide rates in certain populations, it's got terrible side-effects and major withdrawal issues. I just think that there needs to be more involvement of treatments OTHER than drugs. And sure that's more time-consuming and less cost-effective. But isn't these people, these children's lives more important? Shouldn't we care more about their well being than the few dollars made or saved?
If we want our society, our country to succeed, these children are our future. And I mean we all fit at least 10 diagnoses on the DSM. We have to take the time and effort and money to help these people become productive members of society so that we have a future.
not even fruit loops.
I have zero appetite whatsoever. Which I guess is good considering I haven't been to the gym because people look at me like I'm the plague (I kind of am). And I am just feeling so shitty but I have 2 assignments due tomorrow and I'm regretting spending my reading week not doing homework but to be fair I was sleeping more than I normally do and working an excessive amount combined with my sickness. Oh well better get working on it.
lucky girl.
I honestly love K so much. I am so lucky to have such a good roommate. As much as we chirp and joke about completely inappropriate things, he actually cares. All week he's been like I hope you don't have AIDS and I'm like I don't have AIDS. He's like you might, you're a bit of a slut. And I just laughed. But right before I went to the doctor he's like you're probably not going to like what he has to say. He's going to tell you to completely shut it down and just rest for a week (which is what doctors usually say for a cold and why I didn't go to the doctor at first because I hate when people waste healthcare money for a common cold. Suck it up). But I haven't been this sick for this long in years so I finally knew I had to go. And we were discussing what it might be. And he's like for how long you've been sick, you'd think it's mono. But I don't have symptoms of mono so it couldn't be that. My throat has hurt but it couldn't be strep because I know how that feels and it wasn't it.
When I got home from the doctor I was like "I DON'T HAVE AIDS". And he just started laughing, he's like nope but you have a prescription bag so you have some sort of disease and starts chirping about how disgusting I am blah blah. But overall he's actually really good to me when I'm sick. He lets me watch whatever the fuck I want to watch. He actually like turns on and turns off lights that are bothering me, shuts doors, does the dishes more.
Today I never went to class at all because neither are overly important and I probably didn't miss a thing. But I rested all day and have legitimately done nothing but sleep and rest. And he just left again and I was like Mom gave me a lecture last night about how if I'm not better after my antibiotics are done I have to go back to the doctor because sinus infections can get into your brain and cause serious damage (I have no idea if that's true) and he's like yeah well you need to start taking better care of yourself Miss Baker. Take some more drugs and feel better please.
I feel bad for him because I have been a very un-enjoyable person for almost a month now because of how sick I've been and he just takes it. And I appreciate that and all the little things he does to help without bitching at all.
When I got home from the doctor I was like "I DON'T HAVE AIDS". And he just started laughing, he's like nope but you have a prescription bag so you have some sort of disease and starts chirping about how disgusting I am blah blah. But overall he's actually really good to me when I'm sick. He lets me watch whatever the fuck I want to watch. He actually like turns on and turns off lights that are bothering me, shuts doors, does the dishes more.
Today I never went to class at all because neither are overly important and I probably didn't miss a thing. But I rested all day and have legitimately done nothing but sleep and rest. And he just left again and I was like Mom gave me a lecture last night about how if I'm not better after my antibiotics are done I have to go back to the doctor because sinus infections can get into your brain and cause serious damage (I have no idea if that's true) and he's like yeah well you need to start taking better care of yourself Miss Baker. Take some more drugs and feel better please.
I feel bad for him because I have been a very un-enjoyable person for almost a month now because of how sick I've been and he just takes it. And I appreciate that and all the little things he does to help without bitching at all.
rant.
I feel like I go through phases. It's like I can't live it up and have an excessive amount of fun without doing things I regret. If that makes sense. The rest of the time I am loving my life as a nerd. When I study and spend time on myself. But then I fall into this shell of comfort and isolation and people become upset that I'm not hanging out with them and I feel left out because I'm not going out and doing anything. And when you do that, eventually people stop inviting you to do things because they get tired of hearing no.
And I can understand that because I know there are people that I can only invite to do things a certain number of times before I get annoyed and quit inviting them. But for me, that's easy because I'm gone most of the time so I forget by the next time I'm home. And the people I want to see, I make an effort to see. The people who make no effort to see me, too bad for them.
I just want to find a balance. I feel like that's something I miss about being with number twelve. When I was with him, it was nice because we could study and watch movies and make dinner together and just relax and be homebodies most of the time. But when I went out, I wasn't ridiculous because I knew that he would be at home waiting for me later. We very rarely went out together. In fact, I don't think we have ever gone out together in RD; at least, not to the bar. Only a few times in Leth did we go to the bar and in RD we drank a few times but we always wanted to go home before the bar because what's the point when you already know who you're going home with. When we went to the bar in Leth we'd go for like half hour to an hour and want to go home anyway.
I think that's what I'm looking for. I mean I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with K and chirping and just hanging out on a Friday or Saturday night but it's not the same because when I need a hug or I just want someone next to me, K can't do that. I want someone to be physically near me sometimes. I don't need them to speak I just want them near me. I think that's why I was so flustered when DK believed the whole 'teasing' thing. Like that's ridiculous. I don't stay in his bed to 'tease' him. I stay in his bed because someone is physically near me and I feel safe.
And I can understand that because I know there are people that I can only invite to do things a certain number of times before I get annoyed and quit inviting them. But for me, that's easy because I'm gone most of the time so I forget by the next time I'm home. And the people I want to see, I make an effort to see. The people who make no effort to see me, too bad for them.
I just want to find a balance. I feel like that's something I miss about being with number twelve. When I was with him, it was nice because we could study and watch movies and make dinner together and just relax and be homebodies most of the time. But when I went out, I wasn't ridiculous because I knew that he would be at home waiting for me later. We very rarely went out together. In fact, I don't think we have ever gone out together in RD; at least, not to the bar. Only a few times in Leth did we go to the bar and in RD we drank a few times but we always wanted to go home before the bar because what's the point when you already know who you're going home with. When we went to the bar in Leth we'd go for like half hour to an hour and want to go home anyway.
I think that's what I'm looking for. I mean I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with K and chirping and just hanging out on a Friday or Saturday night but it's not the same because when I need a hug or I just want someone next to me, K can't do that. I want someone to be physically near me sometimes. I don't need them to speak I just want them near me. I think that's why I was so flustered when DK believed the whole 'teasing' thing. Like that's ridiculous. I don't stay in his bed to 'tease' him. I stay in his bed because someone is physically near me and I feel safe.
this little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.
I'm tired of holding myself back so I don't outshine you.
Monday, February 27, 2012
southern usa history.
This is seriously one of the most difficult assignments I've ever done in my life. I'm trying to find out about children's literature in the history of the Southern United States and it is virtually non-existent. And I say this with zero racial undertones whatsoever but it is because they were illiterate for so long. White people made it so that only the very elite could read and write and no one else could.
And I'm struggling because they only wanted them to know certain things, like how to be a Southern Belle or a Southern Gentleman. And that means there is virtually zero books for them to read. I'm dead though, I need to go to bed and start fresh tomorrow.
Also, I have to write an essay on the history of the american south... any ideas for a topic?
I'm thinking of going on this whole gender ideals thing with southern belles and the southern gentleman.
And I'm struggling because they only wanted them to know certain things, like how to be a Southern Belle or a Southern Gentleman. And that means there is virtually zero books for them to read. I'm dead though, I need to go to bed and start fresh tomorrow.
Also, I have to write an essay on the history of the american south... any ideas for a topic?
I'm thinking of going on this whole gender ideals thing with southern belles and the southern gentleman.
gossip time.
What the f is going on on CW shows?? Gossip Girl is fucked. I don't want Dan and Blair to end up together. It is absolutely inevitable that Blair ends up with Chuck. That's just the way it is. If television shows stop ending with happy endings how am I supposed to believe that my life can have a happy ending?
I am also not happy with One Tree Hill right now because I have no effing clue what is going to happen. They cannot kill Nathan. Nathan Scott (the character, not James Lafferty; although he's a smoke show) is going to marry me some day. I suppose we'll see what happens on Wednesday.
I am also not happy with One Tree Hill right now because I have no effing clue what is going to happen. They cannot kill Nathan. Nathan Scott (the character, not James Lafferty; although he's a smoke show) is going to marry me some day. I suppose we'll see what happens on Wednesday.
this is ridiculous.
I am so sick. I can't even believe how expensive antibiotics are. I got six pills that will last 4 days and they were 30 effin dollars. Isn't that ridiculous?? I couldn't even believe that. When she told me I was like uhhh wow.
Any ways I'm working on homework now but I feel like balls and my head hurts so much and feels like it's going to explode. The doctor thinks I have a sinus infection which is why he prescribed me antibiotics. But I learned that you can only know for sure if someone has a sinus infection if you get a catscan. He's like it's a bit ridiculous so basically if you have the symptoms you've have for two weeks or longer we assume that's what it is and it's pretty likely.
He was actually a pretty funny doctor. He was like well, in two days you'll be dancing.... even if you didn't like dancing before. bahahah.
Any ways I'm working on homework now but I feel like balls and my head hurts so much and feels like it's going to explode. The doctor thinks I have a sinus infection which is why he prescribed me antibiotics. But I learned that you can only know for sure if someone has a sinus infection if you get a catscan. He's like it's a bit ridiculous so basically if you have the symptoms you've have for two weeks or longer we assume that's what it is and it's pretty likely.
He was actually a pretty funny doctor. He was like well, in two days you'll be dancing.... even if you didn't like dancing before. bahahah.
fml.
I hate this damn city sometimes. Today I went to the same walk-in clinic twice. The first time, it was closed for lunch and the second time they had stopped taking clients for the day but she asked me to come back tomorrow morning at 8am. Well isn't that a lovely idea that I take ANOTHER time I could be sleeping/resting/trying to get better to come here for the THIRD time because you people don't have your shit together. Like I was there an hour before you close and you stop taking clients? That's a bit ridiculous.
Then I found another place because I really doubt I'll be able to drag my ass out of bed before 8am tomorrow and they don't open for walk-in until 5pm. Perfect I just cannot wait for this lovely day.
Not to mention the two huge assignments due on Wednesday that I have zero energy to do.
Then I found another place because I really doubt I'll be able to drag my ass out of bed before 8am tomorrow and they don't open for walk-in until 5pm. Perfect I just cannot wait for this lovely day.
Not to mention the two huge assignments due on Wednesday that I have zero energy to do.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
it tastes awful, but it works.
I think I am stoned on cold medicine. And I forgot how disgusting Buckley's tastes. You'd think there slogan would give you a hint. But they should change it to "it tastes absolutely fucking disgusting and you're going to made a hideous face that your roommate will make fun of you for" but it works.
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to.
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
you never need to carry more than you can hold.
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
you never need to carry more than you can hold.
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.
number 12.
And of course, number twelve. We went for coffee on Friday morning. It was good, really good actually. He came and picked me up, we got a coffee and just drove and talked for an hour and a bit. I don't exactly know how to explain it, the words to use or if it will even make sense, but I'll try my best.
For the first time in a long time, I felt relieved. It was like this giant weight had been lifted because I knew that right now we are exactly where we are supposed to be: not together. I have and will always love that boy, I can assure you of that. This time, the butterflies were different, they were settled. My stomach dropped as I opened the door and I shakily put on my coat hoping he wouldn't notice and my knees wouldn't give out as I followed him out to the car.
We just started talking, and like always after a few moments it was completely normal, natural. It felt right. We discussed life and our families and work and school and just caught up. Usually when this happens I just want to say, "I still love you and I don't know how to get over you and I wish we could be together" which is when he replies, "I hate that I can't get over you and I've tried everything. But we just can't be together". (This conversation has actually happened before and it is the second worst conversation I've ever had in my life). This time wasn't like that.
This time, I knew somehow that this is where we're meant to be. I didn't have to convince myself that one day we'd be okay and I didn't have to try and convince myself that we have things to do in life that require independence. I just knew that there are things in life that we need to do on our own. That's the way it has to be and I was okay with that because somewhere, somehow love remains. And one day I'm going to marry him.
I know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. And I am not the girl that devotes her life to a boy, and I think that's how I knew this is what's right for us. This is what's right for me. I have too many things I want to do in this life that I cannot and will not give up who I am or what I want for a boy, any boy no matter how much he makes my heart race or how happy he makes me. He cannot make me happier than I can make myself. And that's the key.
We've been through this before. We've discussed the fact that we both have things that we want to do in life that wouldn't necessarily leave us together. We've discussed that we don't want the other person to give up something for the other one. And I love that he wouldn't want me to give up my dreams for him and I love that he wouldn't give up his dreams for me too. Most girls want that, a boy to give up what matters most to them for her. But I wouldn't want that, I thought I did at the time, but I would have less respect for him if he did because his dreams are realistic and they are important to him. I fell in love with him because of his ambition and his stubbornness and all the qualities that direct him in the direction of success not in spite of those things.
So I guess that for now, this is it. This is where we stand. This is where I stand: I want nothing but the best for him. Cue Rascal Flatts lyrics to My Wish and in ten years you can cue the lyrics to Then I Did.
For the first time in a long time, I felt relieved. It was like this giant weight had been lifted because I knew that right now we are exactly where we are supposed to be: not together. I have and will always love that boy, I can assure you of that. This time, the butterflies were different, they were settled. My stomach dropped as I opened the door and I shakily put on my coat hoping he wouldn't notice and my knees wouldn't give out as I followed him out to the car.
We just started talking, and like always after a few moments it was completely normal, natural. It felt right. We discussed life and our families and work and school and just caught up. Usually when this happens I just want to say, "I still love you and I don't know how to get over you and I wish we could be together" which is when he replies, "I hate that I can't get over you and I've tried everything. But we just can't be together". (This conversation has actually happened before and it is the second worst conversation I've ever had in my life). This time wasn't like that.
This time, I knew somehow that this is where we're meant to be. I didn't have to convince myself that one day we'd be okay and I didn't have to try and convince myself that we have things to do in life that require independence. I just knew that there are things in life that we need to do on our own. That's the way it has to be and I was okay with that because somewhere, somehow love remains. And one day I'm going to marry him.
I know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds. And I am not the girl that devotes her life to a boy, and I think that's how I knew this is what's right for us. This is what's right for me. I have too many things I want to do in this life that I cannot and will not give up who I am or what I want for a boy, any boy no matter how much he makes my heart race or how happy he makes me. He cannot make me happier than I can make myself. And that's the key.
We've been through this before. We've discussed the fact that we both have things that we want to do in life that wouldn't necessarily leave us together. We've discussed that we don't want the other person to give up something for the other one. And I love that he wouldn't want me to give up my dreams for him and I love that he wouldn't give up his dreams for me too. Most girls want that, a boy to give up what matters most to them for her. But I wouldn't want that, I thought I did at the time, but I would have less respect for him if he did because his dreams are realistic and they are important to him. I fell in love with him because of his ambition and his stubbornness and all the qualities that direct him in the direction of success not in spite of those things.
So I guess that for now, this is it. This is where we stand. This is where I stand: I want nothing but the best for him. Cue Rascal Flatts lyrics to My Wish and in ten years you can cue the lyrics to Then I Did.
catch up.
I have had a hell of a week. Scotties was fun, it went well I think. It was exhausting. Like one day we had to move 8 pallets out of the reefer truck and put five back in... do you know how difficult that is for two girls in their early 20s? (Not easy).
Mostly people who curl are ridiculous. Like people started getting bombed at 11am when the bar opened. One night we got kicked out because the people I was with were so drunk and it was closed and they were wheeling around each other in a shopping cart (it was incredibly fun and entertaining).
I spent time with mouse which was good I freaking love that little girl. She lights up my life. I went out with the boys one night well kinda. I was actually so flustered because of dumb rumours... not so much of the rumor but the fact that DK would actually believe I'd say "DK and I always go home together and then when we're in bed I tease him". Like are you confused? I wouldn't ever say that about anyone haha "I tease him" what does that even mean? Is that what it's called when I say "shut your fucking awful alarm clock off and ps you snore loud as fuck"? Because that's the usual morning conversation between us. I think I'm most upset because when DK told me why he believed it, it was because it came from JP (male version). And I have absolutely no idea what would give him the idea that DK and I are like that because he's around usually? I really like JP why would he say that?
Anyways that was that I guess. Yesterday morning I went and hung out with JL and I honestly love that guy haha he's so funny. He gives me like the best honest advice without being like "I'm older than you so I know better than you". Like we were talking about what I should do about this 28 year old situation and he's like just go hang out with him. He's probably been through a relationship or two and will be a better guy than any 21, 22 year old around your age.
And he's probably right. It seems stupid to me because I think 8 years is a hell of an age difference. I mean I'm at no point near ready to like settle down and not be 20 and I guess after watching everything that's gone on with J and JP that's what worries me. And there's only 6 years between them. When I brought this about to JL and DL they were like, "he's 28? That's not bad since you're like 40". Hahahahahah they have a point. I have always been more mature than most of the people my age. But at the same time, I am sometimes incredibly immature and I don't want to give that up. Who knows. Everyone has been telling me to go but I have some sort of reservations and I don't know why.
Mostly people who curl are ridiculous. Like people started getting bombed at 11am when the bar opened. One night we got kicked out because the people I was with were so drunk and it was closed and they were wheeling around each other in a shopping cart (it was incredibly fun and entertaining).
I spent time with mouse which was good I freaking love that little girl. She lights up my life. I went out with the boys one night well kinda. I was actually so flustered because of dumb rumours... not so much of the rumor but the fact that DK would actually believe I'd say "DK and I always go home together and then when we're in bed I tease him". Like are you confused? I wouldn't ever say that about anyone haha "I tease him" what does that even mean? Is that what it's called when I say "shut your fucking awful alarm clock off and ps you snore loud as fuck"? Because that's the usual morning conversation between us. I think I'm most upset because when DK told me why he believed it, it was because it came from JP (male version). And I have absolutely no idea what would give him the idea that DK and I are like that because he's around usually? I really like JP why would he say that?
Anyways that was that I guess. Yesterday morning I went and hung out with JL and I honestly love that guy haha he's so funny. He gives me like the best honest advice without being like "I'm older than you so I know better than you". Like we were talking about what I should do about this 28 year old situation and he's like just go hang out with him. He's probably been through a relationship or two and will be a better guy than any 21, 22 year old around your age.
And he's probably right. It seems stupid to me because I think 8 years is a hell of an age difference. I mean I'm at no point near ready to like settle down and not be 20 and I guess after watching everything that's gone on with J and JP that's what worries me. And there's only 6 years between them. When I brought this about to JL and DL they were like, "he's 28? That's not bad since you're like 40". Hahahahahah they have a point. I have always been more mature than most of the people my age. But at the same time, I am sometimes incredibly immature and I don't want to give that up. Who knows. Everyone has been telling me to go but I have some sort of reservations and I don't know why.
self-centered much?
1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Getting ready for work.
2. Who are you in love with?
Is it arrogant to say myself? Just kidding, I don't really know what my feelings regarding love are.
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Not that I recall but probably.
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Nah, K isn't really a fan of pink.
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
I'm not sure, the other day I think. I bought gym stuff at sport chek I think.
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes my favorite pair actually. They are under armour and they are bright blue, yellow and pink.
7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
Yep.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Yesterday.
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? .
Nope last time TK and I went to Beauty and the Beast 3D.
10. Are you hot?
I am freezing cold right now. I'm legitimately shaking.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Orange Juice. I'm sick and daddy told me I have to drink something other than water.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Lulu sweats, a sports bra, a hoodie, glasses.
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I wash it. Or AM washes it. I like car wash dates with him.
14. Last food that you ate?
Mom's peanut butter marshmallow squares frozen. And I'm now strongly considering eating an apple peanut butter.
15. Where were you last week at this time?
At work, where else.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
I bought an Under Armour sports bra and Nike capri leggings.
17. When is the last time you ran?
Tuesday. But it sucked. I haven't had a good run in like 3 weeks because I'm too sick to breathe properly.
18. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Curling. But I wouldn't necessarily say I was 'watching'.
19. What is your favorite animal?
I actually don't know. I wish I had some clever animal like a platypus or something but I actually have no idea.
20. Your dream vacation?
Greece. I want to go to Greece more than anything in this world.
21. Last person’s house you were in?
DL and JL's. I went there yesterday morning to ease our hangovers. I love those boys.
22. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Whiplash? Concussion? Torn ligaments in my ankle?
23. Have you been in love?
Define love. I love the sound of my niece's laugh more than anything in the world.
24. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss my family almost always. I love being away for school but I miss them when I`m gone.
25. Last play you saw?
I don't know actually. I love plays though, I wish I went to more. Maybe Chicago in New York City but that was almost two weeks ago.
26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
I don't lure the opposite sex. I'm content hanging out with a boy with my hair in a ponytail and glasses on. So I guess the opposite of luring is what lures them? At least that's what number 12 told me made him start to like me.
27. What are your plans for tonight?
Studying, homework, going to bed early after I pump my system full of cold medicine.
28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
I don't even know what MySpace is.
29. Next trip you are going to take?
Does RD count? Otherwise New Orleans for Final Four.
30. Ever go to camp?
Volleyball camp? I never went to camp... I'm not all that outdoorsy.
31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
I may have written a diploma drunk but I still landed on honour roll. #irresponsible.
32. What do you want to know about the future?
If I should apply to law school.
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yep, FCUK.
34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor’s visit?
My manager told me to go to the doctor because I have been sick for 3 weeks and I am getting progressively work. (I'm sure that drinking Thursday and Friday night helped the situation).
35. Where is your best friend?
In RD, probably at Scotties.
36. How is your best friend?
My sister is without a doubt my best friend. She is probably just ready for this week to be over. She's been pulling like 14-16 hour days at Scotties. She's tired and probably happy her new crush is coming back.
37. Do you have a tan?
I wish.
38. What are you listening to right now?
I'm watching Criminal Minds so... the suspenseful music?
39. Do you collect anything?
I don't think so? My writing?
40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
S and I are pretty bad when we're together. I don't start rumors but there's some pretty creative ones going around about me.
41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
In the summer, it was brutal. Stupid Eastview school zone.
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
I don't really drink soda but I like straws.
43. What does your last text message say?
"Are you alive?"
44. Do you like hot sauce?
Love it. I love spicy food. My mom once forced me to eat a large spoonful of warmed tobasco sauce because I was either a) being lippy, b) bite someone or c) said an inappropriate word. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything for half an hour. I never did whatever 'it' was again but I blame her for my acquired spice tastes.
45. Last time you took a shower?
Yesterday afternoon.
46. Do you need to do laundry?
No I need to put my laundry away.
47. What is your heritage?
British, Metis, Dutch, French... I'm a mutt.
48. Are you someone’s best friend?
I don't know, ask them?
49. Are you rich?
I wish.
50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Either watching Never Back Down or I was asleep. P.S. Sean Faris is one of the sexiest boys in life.
Getting ready for work.
2. Who are you in love with?
Is it arrogant to say myself? Just kidding, I don't really know what my feelings regarding love are.
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Not that I recall but probably.
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Nah, K isn't really a fan of pink.
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
I'm not sure, the other day I think. I bought gym stuff at sport chek I think.
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes my favorite pair actually. They are under armour and they are bright blue, yellow and pink.
7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
Yep.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Yesterday.
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? .
Nope last time TK and I went to Beauty and the Beast 3D.
10. Are you hot?
I am freezing cold right now. I'm legitimately shaking.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Orange Juice. I'm sick and daddy told me I have to drink something other than water.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Lulu sweats, a sports bra, a hoodie, glasses.
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I wash it. Or AM washes it. I like car wash dates with him.
14. Last food that you ate?
Mom's peanut butter marshmallow squares frozen. And I'm now strongly considering eating an apple peanut butter.
15. Where were you last week at this time?
At work, where else.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
I bought an Under Armour sports bra and Nike capri leggings.
17. When is the last time you ran?
Tuesday. But it sucked. I haven't had a good run in like 3 weeks because I'm too sick to breathe properly.
18. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Curling. But I wouldn't necessarily say I was 'watching'.
19. What is your favorite animal?
I actually don't know. I wish I had some clever animal like a platypus or something but I actually have no idea.
20. Your dream vacation?
Greece. I want to go to Greece more than anything in this world.
21. Last person’s house you were in?
DL and JL's. I went there yesterday morning to ease our hangovers. I love those boys.
22. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Whiplash? Concussion? Torn ligaments in my ankle?
23. Have you been in love?
Define love. I love the sound of my niece's laugh more than anything in the world.
24. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss my family almost always. I love being away for school but I miss them when I`m gone.
25. Last play you saw?
I don't know actually. I love plays though, I wish I went to more. Maybe Chicago in New York City but that was almost two weeks ago.
26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
I don't lure the opposite sex. I'm content hanging out with a boy with my hair in a ponytail and glasses on. So I guess the opposite of luring is what lures them? At least that's what number 12 told me made him start to like me.
27. What are your plans for tonight?
Studying, homework, going to bed early after I pump my system full of cold medicine.
28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
I don't even know what MySpace is.
29. Next trip you are going to take?
Does RD count? Otherwise New Orleans for Final Four.
30. Ever go to camp?
Volleyball camp? I never went to camp... I'm not all that outdoorsy.
31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
I may have written a diploma drunk but I still landed on honour roll. #irresponsible.
32. What do you want to know about the future?
If I should apply to law school.
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yep, FCUK.
34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor’s visit?
My manager told me to go to the doctor because I have been sick for 3 weeks and I am getting progressively work. (I'm sure that drinking Thursday and Friday night helped the situation).
35. Where is your best friend?
In RD, probably at Scotties.
36. How is your best friend?
My sister is without a doubt my best friend. She is probably just ready for this week to be over. She's been pulling like 14-16 hour days at Scotties. She's tired and probably happy her new crush is coming back.
37. Do you have a tan?
I wish.
38. What are you listening to right now?
I'm watching Criminal Minds so... the suspenseful music?
39. Do you collect anything?
I don't think so? My writing?
40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
S and I are pretty bad when we're together. I don't start rumors but there's some pretty creative ones going around about me.
41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
In the summer, it was brutal. Stupid Eastview school zone.
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
I don't really drink soda but I like straws.
43. What does your last text message say?
"Are you alive?"
44. Do you like hot sauce?
Love it. I love spicy food. My mom once forced me to eat a large spoonful of warmed tobasco sauce because I was either a) being lippy, b) bite someone or c) said an inappropriate word. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything for half an hour. I never did whatever 'it' was again but I blame her for my acquired spice tastes.
45. Last time you took a shower?
Yesterday afternoon.
46. Do you need to do laundry?
No I need to put my laundry away.
47. What is your heritage?
British, Metis, Dutch, French... I'm a mutt.
48. Are you someone’s best friend?
I don't know, ask them?
49. Are you rich?
I wish.
50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Either watching Never Back Down or I was asleep. P.S. Sean Faris is one of the sexiest boys in life.
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