Alright so yesterday I got up and was going to go to Edmonton with B and C and mouse but they decided not to go because the highway was closed or something of that nature. So I hung out there for a bit, had lunch with them then ME and I went to the hockey game in calgary. We went to hte mall for a bit then went for supper with daddy. It was incredible. So we're leaving the parking lot and there is a giant like concrete thing that blocks you from going down there. It's like a curb only the cliff version. And this dude was high centered on it and it was honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen. We drove around 3 times just to laugh and take pictures.
Then we went to the hockey game and it was kind of shitty because it was such a runaway. Russia is seriously so incredible this year. But anyways it was really fun to spend some time with her and chat and whatever because we haven't actually hung out just us in forever. Then I went to DL and JL's house and it was so funny. The game 'Things in a Box' is legitimately the greatest game EVER.
Friday, December 30, 2011
run-on sentence.
Alright so I may have over-reacted a bit the other night, at least to DK and PD. DK did text me back and we chatted and when I got to his house that night he got mad that I was mad at him and gave me a big hug and reminded me he loved me and wouldn't treat me like that. I have so much to tell you about that night but I'll start at the beginning.
So NB came over and we started drinking wine and basically talked about how upset I was with DK and PD and why DK and I were fighting (like it's unusual or something hahahaha). But she knew I was in a bad mood and grumpy and sad and just not happy with how my day went. So LG and CW showed up and we watched some hockey, drank some wine and caesars and then JP showed up and wanted to go to DK's so she brought ices for me. So we drank for a bit and then JP and NB wanted to go see the hockey boys, which fine I get because they're closer friends with them than the boys but I am not and I often time feel left out with those boys. So I wasn't mad but I kinda was because I was just like whatever you invited me to go to DK's and now you're not even going to come. And I really didn't want to go to bo's them so then finally they forced me to go with them and I really just wanted to wait for ME to come get me to go to DK's. So we are at bo's for like less than ten minutes when they're like let's go to someone else's house and drink before the bar. AND then they tried to convince me to go to my house. And I was just so annoyed. But to be far, JM and CK were really nice and had a good chat with me. They all wanted to leave though and ME was on her way to get me so I was like I'm not going with you like I told you I didn't want to. So while one of them was driving, they couldn't wait like 5 minutes for me and they left me outside, without a coat, alone at bo's until she came. And I was pretty fucking choked. I mean that's a pretty shady thing to do. If they took a cab, it's different. But if this was the other way around and I was going with DK and they were waiting for their friend, I'd be like yo bro, can you just wait until someone gets here, I don't want to leave her here and he would wait.
So ME got there and like immediately NB texted me like 17 times saying I'm sorry, you'd have never done that to me, I panicked, I feel so bad, I'm so sorry. And at that point I was just kind of like fuck you guys, I don't even want to talk to you. And after about 4 messages that I hadn't responded to, I was just like alright I really don't want to talk to you right now. Like I wanted to go out and have a good time because I knew I wouldn't see the boys for like a month. So I went to DK's and him and I sorted it out as per usual and we just back to buds again. We're seriously ridiculous.
So basically those boys hang out with girls that are "friendly". And I honestly was dying laughing and how pathetic these girls' self-respect is. Like it's actually a little bit sad. The boys were like "T-SHIRT TIME" which meant everyone take off your shirt and pass it to the left. So they all did and like it was so funny because these girls are like ahh oh no don't look and I'm just like kay you're dumb they clearly did this for you to take your shirts off. Like it was so brutal DK was going to trying to take pictures of KH and ME and I were seriously sitting there laughing so hard. SC comes over and KH is just glaring at ME and I (because of PD I'd assume) and it was so brutal. Like what is this high school? And SC was like she's not even good looking haha don't even worry about it. And he's just beaking her and it was so funny.
So ME left because she was sober and was going to come back and pick us up later. So JS calls me over and she's like B, why aren't we friends? Why don't we ever hang out? I heard you think I'm a slut, but I'm not. And I was like speechless hahahaha I was like uh to be perfectly honest I don't really care if you're a slut as long as you're not a closet slut. So whatever I talked to her and some of these other girls. This EP girl was really nice too. But like they were like how do you share a bed with DK and not hook up and I just like shook my head and laughing. It's not difficult, yes, DK is an awesome dude and very good looking in my opinion, but we're buds and that would just not go over well. So they were like well how come the boys like treat you so well and are so nice to you. And again I was just shaking my head thinking, well because of exactly that, I don't sleep with them. These boys are assholes. If you let them treat you shitty, they will. If you demand respect, they'll respect you. These boys are nice to me because we are friends, I don't hook up with them, and I am forda boys most of the time. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for girls that are willing to be passed around a friend group and wonders why no one respects her. Don't get me wrong, these girls are really nice, they just lack some common sense.
And for me, like I just am friends with boys. That's the way it is. I have some good girlfriends but a lot of the time I really like being with the boys. It's different. And like it was so funny, these girls were like rubbing DK's abs and like, "can I have your autograph"? bahahahaa I seriously made so much fun of him after. Like come on girls, this is brutal you are giving girls a bad name all around. So then all these girls were like B come to the bar with us, take a cab with the girls, have girls night. And straight up DK was like uh no, she's coming with me. Which I appreciate because he knows that I just wouldn't enjoy being with those girls mostly because as horrible as it is, they attract negative attention and poor stereotypes. I am not going to be rude or mean to them by any means, but I am less inclined to hang out with people like that.
That night was just really kind of nice because after my day and fighting with DK he really stepped it up and realized like hey I was being a dick earlier and was thus extremely nice. Like he helped put my shoes on and gave me his arm to walk on the ice in my boots and he refused to go to the bar without me but hahahaa fuck that kid is such a homo sometimes. He put of sooo much cologne and I started beaking and ME's car stunk of DK and the girly hand lotion we gave him the next day. It was so funny. PD is always like that to me though so it's kind of nice. PD always makes sure I know he's there for me. Those boys just turned my entire night around. And that's why I spend so much time with them when I'm home because it's like a few days earlier when I went out and I could've sworn I saw number twelve and I wasn't even with them that night and I went to walk out and legitimately walked into DK and PD and they were like where are you going and I was like home, number twelve is here and I don't want to deal with this tonight. They each gave me a hug said, "fuck that. You're not going home. You're here and now you're with us, you're partying forda boys tonight". They just won't allow me to be sad or stress or upset. They remind me to believe that life's too short to stress about things out of my control. It's refreshing sometimes to have people that force you to have fun.
So NB came over and we started drinking wine and basically talked about how upset I was with DK and PD and why DK and I were fighting (like it's unusual or something hahahaha). But she knew I was in a bad mood and grumpy and sad and just not happy with how my day went. So LG and CW showed up and we watched some hockey, drank some wine and caesars and then JP showed up and wanted to go to DK's so she brought ices for me. So we drank for a bit and then JP and NB wanted to go see the hockey boys, which fine I get because they're closer friends with them than the boys but I am not and I often time feel left out with those boys. So I wasn't mad but I kinda was because I was just like whatever you invited me to go to DK's and now you're not even going to come. And I really didn't want to go to bo's them so then finally they forced me to go with them and I really just wanted to wait for ME to come get me to go to DK's. So we are at bo's for like less than ten minutes when they're like let's go to someone else's house and drink before the bar. AND then they tried to convince me to go to my house. And I was just so annoyed. But to be far, JM and CK were really nice and had a good chat with me. They all wanted to leave though and ME was on her way to get me so I was like I'm not going with you like I told you I didn't want to. So while one of them was driving, they couldn't wait like 5 minutes for me and they left me outside, without a coat, alone at bo's until she came. And I was pretty fucking choked. I mean that's a pretty shady thing to do. If they took a cab, it's different. But if this was the other way around and I was going with DK and they were waiting for their friend, I'd be like yo bro, can you just wait until someone gets here, I don't want to leave her here and he would wait.
So ME got there and like immediately NB texted me like 17 times saying I'm sorry, you'd have never done that to me, I panicked, I feel so bad, I'm so sorry. And at that point I was just kind of like fuck you guys, I don't even want to talk to you. And after about 4 messages that I hadn't responded to, I was just like alright I really don't want to talk to you right now. Like I wanted to go out and have a good time because I knew I wouldn't see the boys for like a month. So I went to DK's and him and I sorted it out as per usual and we just back to buds again. We're seriously ridiculous.
So basically those boys hang out with girls that are "friendly". And I honestly was dying laughing and how pathetic these girls' self-respect is. Like it's actually a little bit sad. The boys were like "T-SHIRT TIME" which meant everyone take off your shirt and pass it to the left. So they all did and like it was so funny because these girls are like ahh oh no don't look and I'm just like kay you're dumb they clearly did this for you to take your shirts off. Like it was so brutal DK was going to trying to take pictures of KH and ME and I were seriously sitting there laughing so hard. SC comes over and KH is just glaring at ME and I (because of PD I'd assume) and it was so brutal. Like what is this high school? And SC was like she's not even good looking haha don't even worry about it. And he's just beaking her and it was so funny.
So ME left because she was sober and was going to come back and pick us up later. So JS calls me over and she's like B, why aren't we friends? Why don't we ever hang out? I heard you think I'm a slut, but I'm not. And I was like speechless hahahaha I was like uh to be perfectly honest I don't really care if you're a slut as long as you're not a closet slut. So whatever I talked to her and some of these other girls. This EP girl was really nice too. But like they were like how do you share a bed with DK and not hook up and I just like shook my head and laughing. It's not difficult, yes, DK is an awesome dude and very good looking in my opinion, but we're buds and that would just not go over well. So they were like well how come the boys like treat you so well and are so nice to you. And again I was just shaking my head thinking, well because of exactly that, I don't sleep with them. These boys are assholes. If you let them treat you shitty, they will. If you demand respect, they'll respect you. These boys are nice to me because we are friends, I don't hook up with them, and I am forda boys most of the time. I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for girls that are willing to be passed around a friend group and wonders why no one respects her. Don't get me wrong, these girls are really nice, they just lack some common sense.
And for me, like I just am friends with boys. That's the way it is. I have some good girlfriends but a lot of the time I really like being with the boys. It's different. And like it was so funny, these girls were like rubbing DK's abs and like, "can I have your autograph"? bahahahaa I seriously made so much fun of him after. Like come on girls, this is brutal you are giving girls a bad name all around. So then all these girls were like B come to the bar with us, take a cab with the girls, have girls night. And straight up DK was like uh no, she's coming with me. Which I appreciate because he knows that I just wouldn't enjoy being with those girls mostly because as horrible as it is, they attract negative attention and poor stereotypes. I am not going to be rude or mean to them by any means, but I am less inclined to hang out with people like that.
That night was just really kind of nice because after my day and fighting with DK he really stepped it up and realized like hey I was being a dick earlier and was thus extremely nice. Like he helped put my shoes on and gave me his arm to walk on the ice in my boots and he refused to go to the bar without me but hahahaa fuck that kid is such a homo sometimes. He put of sooo much cologne and I started beaking and ME's car stunk of DK and the girly hand lotion we gave him the next day. It was so funny. PD is always like that to me though so it's kind of nice. PD always makes sure I know he's there for me. Those boys just turned my entire night around. And that's why I spend so much time with them when I'm home because it's like a few days earlier when I went out and I could've sworn I saw number twelve and I wasn't even with them that night and I went to walk out and legitimately walked into DK and PD and they were like where are you going and I was like home, number twelve is here and I don't want to deal with this tonight. They each gave me a hug said, "fuck that. You're not going home. You're here and now you're with us, you're partying forda boys tonight". They just won't allow me to be sad or stress or upset. They remind me to believe that life's too short to stress about things out of my control. It's refreshing sometimes to have people that force you to have fun.
blessed are the hearts that bend.
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
-Ernest Hemingway
-Ernest Hemingway
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
not forda boys.
Seriously, I love my friends. But sometimes they are so unreliable and it's so unbelievably frustrating. If you don't want to do something, or you have other plans or you straight up just don't want to hang out, just tell me. I get so frustrated with the boys sometimes because when we do something they are so good about taking care of me and blah blah. But like the other day DK and PD said they'd come help me move the tv to watch the hockey game then we'd chill and see how the night went. And now I don't think either of them are coming.
I know I shouldn't let it bother me and just let it go but it bothers me when people tell me they're going to do something and don't because I am that person that will follow through on what I tell you. What's even more annoying is that now PD won't even answer me. And I have no desire to even text DK because I can guarantee they're together and I just don't care enough to like fight or be ignored. It's just fucking rude.
I know I shouldn't let it bother me and just let it go but it bothers me when people tell me they're going to do something and don't because I am that person that will follow through on what I tell you. What's even more annoying is that now PD won't even answer me. And I have no desire to even text DK because I can guarantee they're together and I just don't care enough to like fight or be ignored. It's just fucking rude.
before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.
Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, so here's my number so call me, maybe. It's hard to look right at you baby, but here's my number so call me, maybe.
forda boys.
Why the hell am I up at 2:30 am??! My sleep schedule is going to be succhhh a mess. I'm going back on the fourth I think. It's for the best. Then I can get back into a routine, not miss my hair appointment and hopefully get ahead in my classes.
Also right now I'm listening to PD and DK's voicenote because it is legitimately so funny. Mostly it makes me laugh because it reminds me of good, old, innocent fun. They are playing NHL while they sing it so there's parts where they like sing, yell at the tv, then go straight back into singing like they never skipped a beat and it just kills me. I love my boys.
Also right now I'm listening to PD and DK's voicenote because it is legitimately so funny. Mostly it makes me laugh because it reminds me of good, old, innocent fun. They are playing NHL while they sing it so there's parts where they like sing, yell at the tv, then go straight back into singing like they never skipped a beat and it just kills me. I love my boys.
someone.
I don't think I explained the whole ZG situation fully. Basically the reason she got mad is that I stayed at DK's the other night and that I often go home with him to his house instead of her to her house. And to be perfectly honest, most of the time it's just the way the night goes hahaha. This sounds so slutty but who wouldn't go home with DK over ZG. I mean really, I'd rather sleep in his bed with him half-naked (OMG S, I know you already know but the kid is a smokeshow in boxers! hahahaahaha I seriously die when he strips down) than her naked. It weirds me out that she sleeps naked when I'm there. I don't like it at all and the last few times I've stayed at her house, I've slept on the couch and I think she actually gets really insulted.
So last week I stayed at her house on the couch but we hot-tubbed before and kind of talked about the whole DK situation and how a lot of people are talking, at least to me, about him and I and us hooking up etc. And I told her that I love DK but I'm genuinely worried that that would fuck so much stuff up. I have so much fun with him, but we drive each other crazy. I don't think we've ever had a night where we don't fight haha not in a mean way but in an old married couple arguing for the sake of arguing way. And I like DK, I'm not willing to lose him as a friend, and even more, I love PD and I would never ever want to risk that friendship. And for some reason, he's really uncomfortable with DK and I. Like when he found out I slept in DK's bed, he got mad. He's always like well where was I?!!! One time he physically carried me out of DK's bed because he didn't want us to sleep together. And when I say sleep, I really mean sleep.
ZG is protective and I get that but it bothers me that she thinks I'd just sleep with DK. She's like well you talk about not ruining the friendship blah blah then go home from the bar with him. Haha if I had a dollar for every time I left the bar with him, I'd probably have 100 dollars ( I'm literally laughing at my own little joke). But we've never even kissed so I really don't understand why it's such a big deal. Him and I have woken up and been like this isn't awkward because we're buds, end of story.
I'll admit that the other night I woke up in the middle of the night and he had his arm around me and that's never happened before, at least to my knowledge, and I liked it. But I think what I liked more than anything was having a boy hold me in his arms, more than the fact DK had me in his arms. I miss just having someone sleep beside me. And when I say someone, I mean a boy because we all know it's a different feeling. It probably sounds so stupid, but I really treasure the security I feel around DK. I mean like I get scared to be alone at night sometimes, like when K is gone because we have no alarm. But at DK's house, they don't even lock the door and it doesn't even phase me. I somehow feel safe, because a boy that's strong is beside me. And I used to always tell number twelve that he made me feel safe, and that's totally what it is. I just miss having someone physically there so I feel safe. I sleep so well at his house (in part because his bed is incredibly comfortable) and in part because I know there's someone beside me. And I think he's the same way. He really doesn't like being alone, and he's nice, which is why I stay in his bed not on the couch. It's not awkward, it's just sleeping and having someone next to you.
I love DK, but I'm not in love with him. And there's a big difference.
So last week I stayed at her house on the couch but we hot-tubbed before and kind of talked about the whole DK situation and how a lot of people are talking, at least to me, about him and I and us hooking up etc. And I told her that I love DK but I'm genuinely worried that that would fuck so much stuff up. I have so much fun with him, but we drive each other crazy. I don't think we've ever had a night where we don't fight haha not in a mean way but in an old married couple arguing for the sake of arguing way. And I like DK, I'm not willing to lose him as a friend, and even more, I love PD and I would never ever want to risk that friendship. And for some reason, he's really uncomfortable with DK and I. Like when he found out I slept in DK's bed, he got mad. He's always like well where was I?!!! One time he physically carried me out of DK's bed because he didn't want us to sleep together. And when I say sleep, I really mean sleep.
ZG is protective and I get that but it bothers me that she thinks I'd just sleep with DK. She's like well you talk about not ruining the friendship blah blah then go home from the bar with him. Haha if I had a dollar for every time I left the bar with him, I'd probably have 100 dollars ( I'm literally laughing at my own little joke). But we've never even kissed so I really don't understand why it's such a big deal. Him and I have woken up and been like this isn't awkward because we're buds, end of story.
I'll admit that the other night I woke up in the middle of the night and he had his arm around me and that's never happened before, at least to my knowledge, and I liked it. But I think what I liked more than anything was having a boy hold me in his arms, more than the fact DK had me in his arms. I miss just having someone sleep beside me. And when I say someone, I mean a boy because we all know it's a different feeling. It probably sounds so stupid, but I really treasure the security I feel around DK. I mean like I get scared to be alone at night sometimes, like when K is gone because we have no alarm. But at DK's house, they don't even lock the door and it doesn't even phase me. I somehow feel safe, because a boy that's strong is beside me. And I used to always tell number twelve that he made me feel safe, and that's totally what it is. I just miss having someone physically there so I feel safe. I sleep so well at his house (in part because his bed is incredibly comfortable) and in part because I know there's someone beside me. And I think he's the same way. He really doesn't like being alone, and he's nice, which is why I stay in his bed not on the couch. It's not awkward, it's just sleeping and having someone next to you.
I love DK, but I'm not in love with him. And there's a big difference.
busy day.
Last night I went to VL's birthday. It was actually really nice because it was low-key. And lately everyone has been partying so hard. I drank two nights and drove two nights and it's kicking my ass hahaha. But seriously it was really fun. I was supposed to go with JP but she ended up waiting for HJR and I promised DK and PD I'd pick them up. So I went to DK's home and we just chilled out for a bit while the two of them drank and played NHL. It was actually just nice, like I almost wish we hadn't gone out and just like chilled out like that. But PD played some song on his phone and I seriously started dying because of how they were singing. It was so funny and I just laughed and decided, "hey, when I'm at school I'm going to have a day where I need a smile, this is it" so I recorded their jam session and it is so funny. I love those boys so much.
Then we went to PT and it was like so chill. Except we got there and DK bought 2 shots and ordered me a water only C decided we needed 6 shots for the three of us so I did two sourjacks with the boys and then bombed aqua for the remainder of the night hahaha. JC was like DJ'ing and everyone pretty much took their turn. The best was when I played L^2 cd and he rapped and danced along with it. It was really fun to just relax and no one was obliterated, everyone just chilled.
Then it was so weird. TW (aka number 12's cousin) is dating SD (aka PD's sister) and it's so awkward everytime I see him because he lives with number twelve and one night last year I got drunk and basically said I'm in love with your cousin and I'm really sorry and he was just like ya talk to him B. And he was right. But anyways he came up and said hi and we actually talked and he broke the ice and I felt a whole lot better about it.
THEN ZG called me and she was absolutely hammered. She was so drunk so I went to pick her up and left the boys there. She doesn't have like a good drunk, she's always way too drunk. And so as I was driving her home the boys were ready so I stopped at PT to pick up DK, PD, SD, and TW and then I took ZG home but she was like getting mad that I didn't want to have a sleepover etc. and beaking how I was going to go to DK's and he was drunk and DK and obviously played right into it like, "oh of course she's coming to my house. She loves me more than she loves you and she's forda boys" blah blah. It was actually really funny because she was getting soooo mad and they were all just chirping her beyond belief and I was laughing just like I'm going home to bed haha I'm not going anywhere.
I had a really good night, chatted with DK for a bit before I went to sleep and got up sooo early today to take auntie to the airport then go shopping with B. I went to the gym and I met AM at the carwash tonight and legit vacuumed and cleaned the interior and exterior of my car so thoroughly hahaha and he was lovely. Love that kid. Then we went to New Year's Eve, which I saw last week but it was cheap night so I went anyways and I actually really like that movie. It's kind of true, for some reason New Year's is magical. People actually find a little faith in the fact that they can change, they can be a better person next year, they can do more, follow their dreams, and most importantly, their hearts.
Then we went to PT and it was like so chill. Except we got there and DK bought 2 shots and ordered me a water only C decided we needed 6 shots for the three of us so I did two sourjacks with the boys and then bombed aqua for the remainder of the night hahaha. JC was like DJ'ing and everyone pretty much took their turn. The best was when I played L^2 cd and he rapped and danced along with it. It was really fun to just relax and no one was obliterated, everyone just chilled.
Then it was so weird. TW (aka number 12's cousin) is dating SD (aka PD's sister) and it's so awkward everytime I see him because he lives with number twelve and one night last year I got drunk and basically said I'm in love with your cousin and I'm really sorry and he was just like ya talk to him B. And he was right. But anyways he came up and said hi and we actually talked and he broke the ice and I felt a whole lot better about it.
THEN ZG called me and she was absolutely hammered. She was so drunk so I went to pick her up and left the boys there. She doesn't have like a good drunk, she's always way too drunk. And so as I was driving her home the boys were ready so I stopped at PT to pick up DK, PD, SD, and TW and then I took ZG home but she was like getting mad that I didn't want to have a sleepover etc. and beaking how I was going to go to DK's and he was drunk and DK and obviously played right into it like, "oh of course she's coming to my house. She loves me more than she loves you and she's forda boys" blah blah. It was actually really funny because she was getting soooo mad and they were all just chirping her beyond belief and I was laughing just like I'm going home to bed haha I'm not going anywhere.
I had a really good night, chatted with DK for a bit before I went to sleep and got up sooo early today to take auntie to the airport then go shopping with B. I went to the gym and I met AM at the carwash tonight and legit vacuumed and cleaned the interior and exterior of my car so thoroughly hahaha and he was lovely. Love that kid. Then we went to New Year's Eve, which I saw last week but it was cheap night so I went anyways and I actually really like that movie. It's kind of true, for some reason New Year's is magical. People actually find a little faith in the fact that they can change, they can be a better person next year, they can do more, follow their dreams, and most importantly, their hearts.
I really want to be your every night.
"I don't want to be in Monday morning, heading back to work
Stuck in traffic, going slow, nothing on the radio
I don't wanna be another chore to check off on your list
Of things you gotta do and places that you gotta go
Oh no...
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna take you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night
We can rock together, let the good times roll forever
Fill up our cup, make a memory, drink it up
I don't wanna miss another minute, wanna live it with you
'Neath the blue sky, falling in love
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna take you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night
I wanna be your lemonade in the shade
Money in your pocket cause you just got paid babe
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna get you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night "
Stuck in traffic, going slow, nothing on the radio
I don't wanna be another chore to check off on your list
Of things you gotta do and places that you gotta go
Oh no...
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna take you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night
We can rock together, let the good times roll forever
Fill up our cup, make a memory, drink it up
I don't wanna miss another minute, wanna live it with you
'Neath the blue sky, falling in love
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna take you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night
I wanna be your lemonade in the shade
Money in your pocket cause you just got paid babe
I wanna be your Friday night speed ride
Summertime, sunshine, barefoot in the moonlight
I wanna be your jackpot, hot spot
Wide open road in a candy apple rag top
I wanna set you free, I wanna get you high
I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night "
Monday, December 26, 2011
I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons.
It's funny how much the approach of a new year makes me analyze and criticize everything I've done this year. I re-analyze everything in my year, I'll probably re-read my blog in the next few days. I think that's what I like most about blogging. At any given time I can look back and see how much I've grown. I get to watch from the outside and view how much I have changed and learned.
I'm really excited for 2012. It's going to be a great year. My goal is to be happy me again. To laugh, and love, and believe, and enjoy again. I've spent too much time alone and miserable. And we only have so long. I don't want to be bitter and old. I want to be young and beautiful and I want to really love life.
I am going to spend the next few days really thinking about WHAT I CAN DO for myself. I want to stress less about the things that are out of my control and just be happy and healthy for once. It's time to be 20 years old again instead of an old soul.
I'm really excited for 2012. It's going to be a great year. My goal is to be happy me again. To laugh, and love, and believe, and enjoy again. I've spent too much time alone and miserable. And we only have so long. I don't want to be bitter and old. I want to be young and beautiful and I want to really love life.
I am going to spend the next few days really thinking about WHAT I CAN DO for myself. I want to stress less about the things that are out of my control and just be happy and healthy for once. It's time to be 20 years old again instead of an old soul.
I'm moving on.
This is the first Christmas in 5 years that I never said Mele Kalikimaka to sunshine. Crazy eh.
I was doing so good today. I almost made it through the day without saying anything to number twelve. But something inside of me knew I'd regret it if I didn't say Merry Christmas to him, so I did. I feel freer somehow. I don't know I just think that I'm really letting this go. I want to be able to fall for someone else. I want to be happy and find another boy that loves me for everything that I am, flaws and all and that treats me like gold. I want a boy that realizes how important the little things are to me. That's what I want this year.
I've strongly considered giving number twelve the letters I've written him, and include a final one, along with the two CDs I've made that remind me of him. I cannot decide if that would make me really let it go, if it would work in a simlilar way to the way I told sunshine I needed him out of my life. Or, if I'd be better off to just burn them and let them go without anyone ever reading them. I guess I have 5 days to decide.
I was doing so good today. I almost made it through the day without saying anything to number twelve. But something inside of me knew I'd regret it if I didn't say Merry Christmas to him, so I did. I feel freer somehow. I don't know I just think that I'm really letting this go. I want to be able to fall for someone else. I want to be happy and find another boy that loves me for everything that I am, flaws and all and that treats me like gold. I want a boy that realizes how important the little things are to me. That's what I want this year.
I've strongly considered giving number twelve the letters I've written him, and include a final one, along with the two CDs I've made that remind me of him. I cannot decide if that would make me really let it go, if it would work in a simlilar way to the way I told sunshine I needed him out of my life. Or, if I'd be better off to just burn them and let them go without anyone ever reading them. I guess I have 5 days to decide.
Merry Christmas.
Other than my lectures, I had a really great day. We got up this morning and we opened stockings and presents and then we went to momma's and did the same and had breakfast and just basked for the afternoon. Then we came home and opened presents with mouse and b and c and had supper.
I am pretty happy, seeing mouse open her presents is seriously the most amazing thing. She was so funny she was grinning from ear to ear and she just kept saying "WOOOOOW" hahahah. It was wonderful.
I'm really happy with what I got for Christmas too. Momma got the picture that LG drew me last year framed and it is really beautiful. It's a Cinderella thing that says, "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true". And it gives me hope.
Then I got a new pair of gym shoes (that I have to pick) and I mostly got giftcards but they're awesome so I'm excited. I got the entire Sex and the City box set aka all the seasons AND both movies so I was totally jacked about that. And B made me a blanket THAT IS BATMAN AND IT IS FUCKING AWESOME AND INCREDIBLY WARM.
One of my fav things was these two little wine books daddy bought me. One is like a little red wine book that tells you about the different kinds of wine and the different grapes etc. And the other is like a log book that you can rate wine in. So it has like the type of wine, grape, year, what it tastes like, what's in it, how you'd rate it, what country it's from etc. It's really cool.
OH AND usually we don't get much from auntie and uncle because there's just some bad history there and this year they bought us each a pair of BEAUTIFUL Coach boots. I was so shocked but they're so beautiful.
Anyways I was more than mildly spoiled so I'm very thankful for everything I got but especially thankful for my family and friends.
I am pretty happy, seeing mouse open her presents is seriously the most amazing thing. She was so funny she was grinning from ear to ear and she just kept saying "WOOOOOW" hahahah. It was wonderful.
I'm really happy with what I got for Christmas too. Momma got the picture that LG drew me last year framed and it is really beautiful. It's a Cinderella thing that says, "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true". And it gives me hope.
Then I got a new pair of gym shoes (that I have to pick) and I mostly got giftcards but they're awesome so I'm excited. I got the entire Sex and the City box set aka all the seasons AND both movies so I was totally jacked about that. And B made me a blanket THAT IS BATMAN AND IT IS FUCKING AWESOME AND INCREDIBLY WARM.
One of my fav things was these two little wine books daddy bought me. One is like a little red wine book that tells you about the different kinds of wine and the different grapes etc. And the other is like a log book that you can rate wine in. So it has like the type of wine, grape, year, what it tastes like, what's in it, how you'd rate it, what country it's from etc. It's really cool.
OH AND usually we don't get much from auntie and uncle because there's just some bad history there and this year they bought us each a pair of BEAUTIFUL Coach boots. I was so shocked but they're so beautiful.
Anyways I was more than mildly spoiled so I'm very thankful for everything I got but especially thankful for my family and friends.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
what a day.
Things have been ridiculous this week. It's been sooooo busy. On Friday I went out and actually had a great time hahahaha I also managed to snipe DK's bed again. I wish that I could bang that kid without fucking up friendships.
Also tonight I was so grumpy. At dinner, I got the "you drink too much and don't know how to handle your liquor" during which my family hasn't even dealt with me drunk in months (aka why I went to DK's and why I always go there because I don't want to listen to their hyprocritical bitching) and then I got the anorexia lecture. I've legitimately got that lecture about 3 times today and 5 or 6 times since I got home and it just frustrates me so much because I'm not anorexic and I'm not even really that skinny. And to me eating disorders are really serious and not funny to joke about at all. I've had an eating disorder and it's scary. It bothers me because I do care about what I eat and I care about going to the gym but that's more about how I feel than how I look. Because I am still not happy with my size or weight. I weigh more now than I ever have.
Also tonight I was so grumpy. At dinner, I got the "you drink too much and don't know how to handle your liquor" during which my family hasn't even dealt with me drunk in months (aka why I went to DK's and why I always go there because I don't want to listen to their hyprocritical bitching) and then I got the anorexia lecture. I've legitimately got that lecture about 3 times today and 5 or 6 times since I got home and it just frustrates me so much because I'm not anorexic and I'm not even really that skinny. And to me eating disorders are really serious and not funny to joke about at all. I've had an eating disorder and it's scary. It bothers me because I do care about what I eat and I care about going to the gym but that's more about how I feel than how I look. Because I am still not happy with my size or weight. I weigh more now than I ever have.
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