sideways.

i haven't gone out since probably the beginning of may if not the end of april. but we're gonna give'er a try tonight. wish me luck.
it's time to play, gonna get a little bit sideways.

gossip girl.

haha i just realized that s and b sound very gossip girl-esque. i never thought about it until now. one day we will be the upper east side new york types. =)

enjoy the little things.

dear s.
you're hilarious and made me miss this so much. you made my night.
hahaha thank you.
love,
b.

talk about pressure.

i really like number 12. and i love when we stay over at one another's houses and sleep in the same bed and cook together and work out and just everything. for the most part, things are going really well for us. but living together, that's a really big step. am i wrong for having doubts? things change when you live with someone; especially the person you're in a relationship with. i mean i get it. chances are that if we lived in the same city, we'd likely spend 5 or 6 nights a week together anyways. but at least you have the option to stay home in your own space without being like hey i'm fucking sick of you back off. i'm not worried about school because we actually both would focus on that a lot.
i'm just scared. am i being a baby? or is that legit thing to be scared about?

the real world.

i am so upset about university. i want to go to lethbridge. i want to be a teacher and make a difference in students lives when it matters most.
but it's like the whole world is tellling me otherwise. the universe is telling me to go to calgary, to get my art degree and become a lawyer.
i don't know what to do. u of c keeps screwing up my transcripts. dad lost his job and now works in calgary. number 12 is going to calgary and keeps pushing me to come with him so we don't have long distance all year especially while he plays hockey. i mean he asked me if i'd live with him tonight.

i wanna feel something again.

i'm trying to figure out why i quit blogging.
and reading s' blog.
i just feel some sort of release from saying words outloud. and reading someone else's everything. tears, dreams, hopes, happiness, sadness, hurt, everything.

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?

i could use a dream or a geenie or a wish;
to go back to a place much simpler than this.