It takes everything in me not to call you.

I confess babe, in my dreams your touching my face and asking me if I wanna try again with you,
and I almost do.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you.

I was so close to texting number twelve last night. I would really just like to find a nice boy and move past all of the relationship drama that describes my life. I always fall for the wrong boys. I wish that I was attracted to the nice guy for once. I always fall for the guy with the girlfriend. Or the guy who is a jackass player. Or I have number twelve too involved into my mind to move on. I would just like to find a boy that will treat me well and just love me. I just need him to love me. Is that too much to ask?

I have the best friends.

Accomplished my life long goal of being a Spice Girl last night. I was Sporty and it was awesome. Just saying.

Win/win

Everything I used to eat with milk I now eat with almond milk. And I'd just like to say everything is even better with almond milk AND I don't get sick. Win/win

I do believe in you that much.

"Sometimes I feel like you believe in me more than I believe in myself."

Little things.

My niece called me this morning. I told her I was having breakfast and she said she'd be right over. Hahaha seriously love that little girl. She was so giggly. Her laugh just makes everything in my day better. I love it beyond comprehension.

It takes two.

I just want that "can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.

Invictus.

I think that this will forever be my favourite poem. 

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole, 

I thank whatever gods may be 

for my unconquerable soul. 

In fell the clutch of circumstance 

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody but unbowed. 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade.

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.  

It matters not how straight the gate, 

how charged with punishments the scroll. 

I am the master of my fate: 

I am the captain of my soul. 

-William Ernest Henley

nerd.

I'm studying for my Ed Psych test on Thursday and it's actually so interesting. I find this kind of stuff absolutely incredible. I'm currently reading and writing notes about motivation and it just interests me so much. I think that is what's interesting about school this year, it's real. It's not the background information that I have to kill myself to get into Ed. It is practical information that I will use every day for the next how many years. And to me, that's fascinating.

What a pain.

I had to get winter tires and a new rim today. OVER 700 DOLLARS. Fuck. So ridiculous. I did not need this expense right now. I need a new vehicle so bad it's not even funny. That's my goal for the summer.

Goodbye.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye.

We made quite a mess babe, it's probably better off this way.

And I wish I could tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you. I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do.

Safe and sound.

I made it home safe last night. Then K had made delicious lasagna for me and so I enjoyed that with a glass of wine followed by a gigantic piece of cake. It was extremely stressful to be sitting alone in the dark on a secondary highway. But I'm alive and thankful I was okay. Apparently blowing a tire is really dangerous.

Sketch

I'm sitting on the side of the road about 45 minutes from leth. I basically feel like I am in the beginning of a plot of a horror movie. I'm probably gonna get murdered here on the side of the road. No big deal though.