She was a smart girl,
until she fell in love.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
never going to be closure on that one.
Today is Sofaking's birthday. It makes me physically sick to even think about him. That whole situation is just fucked. I can't believe I ever cared about that kid.
The last time I saw him I was on my way to DK's and I saw him driving. I was so winded that I sat in my vehicle extra long. When I went inside DK asked if I was okay (you can see out their front window pretty easily). I said yes but he gave me a hug and made sure I really was okay. I was winded for probably half an hour.
I hate that he has that kind of power over me. Power that leads me to go into a panic attack and lose all sense of reality. I wish that I could talk to him. I wish he had the courage to have a conversation with me. Just so I could see what he'd say.
The last time I saw him I was on my way to DK's and I saw him driving. I was so winded that I sat in my vehicle extra long. When I went inside DK asked if I was okay (you can see out their front window pretty easily). I said yes but he gave me a hug and made sure I really was okay. I was winded for probably half an hour.
I hate that he has that kind of power over me. Power that leads me to go into a panic attack and lose all sense of reality. I wish that I could talk to him. I wish he had the courage to have a conversation with me. Just so I could see what he'd say.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
yeep, I'm a slut.
I was also thinking about it and I would probably sleep with RD (the one I did sleep with) again. I decided I was right, he is hot. Minus his stupid earrings.
I also would still probably sleep with other RD mostly because I find something incredibly attractive about him and I don't know exactly what it is. I think it may be the fact he is such a douchebag. I wish I was not attracted to those douchebags but I am. I seriously get like a bit nauseas when I see him. I think out of nerves haha but I don't know.
I also would still probably sleep with other RD mostly because I find something incredibly attractive about him and I don't know exactly what it is. I think it may be the fact he is such a douchebag. I wish I was not attracted to those douchebags but I am. I seriously get like a bit nauseas when I see him. I think out of nerves haha but I don't know.
please marry me.
The love of my life is sitting near me in the library. I don't know what it is about him but every time I see him, I melt a little bit. He is so gorgeous. And I find myself just staring instead of studying.
unconditional love.
"Your mother gave you something, something he didn't have. Something he couldn't beat. She died for you out of love. There is nothing more selfless than that."
My mother and I were talking the other day and I told her that as much pain as it's caused me, I'm so thankful for her. I burst into tears as I told her that I admire the way she loves, so unconditionally. I'm so thankful that she taught me to love like that, even when my unconditional love is unrequited. She loves so unbelievably unconditionally, and because of her, I do too.
My mother and I were talking the other day and I told her that as much pain as it's caused me, I'm so thankful for her. I burst into tears as I told her that I admire the way she loves, so unconditionally. I'm so thankful that she taught me to love like that, even when my unconditional love is unrequited. She loves so unbelievably unconditionally, and because of her, I do too.
I miss it.
March 15: Taurus (aka, exactly 3 years).
A heart-to-heart talk could solve all of your problems with a special friend. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, you could take your bond to a higher level if you simple and honestly discuss what's on your mind. The two of you may have had a misunderstanding awhile back that escalated into a bigger conflict because you didn't deal openly with each other. This has affected you deeply because you no longer share the special relationship you once had. It may take some time, but you can get it back if you reach out and talk it out.
I forgot to post this but it's pretty interesting I think. At least, anyone who knows how I feel about that boy or anything about our relationship will understand.
A heart-to-heart talk could solve all of your problems with a special friend. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, you could take your bond to a higher level if you simple and honestly discuss what's on your mind. The two of you may have had a misunderstanding awhile back that escalated into a bigger conflict because you didn't deal openly with each other. This has affected you deeply because you no longer share the special relationship you once had. It may take some time, but you can get it back if you reach out and talk it out.
I forgot to post this but it's pretty interesting I think. At least, anyone who knows how I feel about that boy or anything about our relationship will understand.
even on my weakest day, I get a little bit stronger.
I'm done hoping we could work it out,
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
letting you drag my heart around.
I'm done thinking you could ever change.
Even on my weakest day,
I get a little bit stronger.
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
letting you drag my heart around.
I'm done thinking you could ever change.
Even on my weakest day,
I get a little bit stronger.
stupid song made me think of you.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
but I'm telling myself I'll be okay.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
at a red light.
I feel disconnected. I'm not even sure what I mean by that. I guess like virtually all of my friends are in relationships. And I don't even think I'm jealous because I'm not really sure I want a relationship, but I feel a disconnect. Even DK has this broad around.. and he's now turned into a dick which is just lovely.
I don't know I guess I just am feeling like I should have a boy around when I'm pretty content without one if that makes sense.
I actually read about it in my social psych text. That we are prejudice towards and often discriminate against people who are single. It seems weird but it's a real social phenomenon.
I don't know I guess I just am feeling like I should have a boy around when I'm pretty content without one if that makes sense.
I actually read about it in my social psych text. That we are prejudice towards and often discriminate against people who are single. It seems weird but it's a real social phenomenon.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
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