Productivity.

I was SO productive today and it feels so good!
Today I figured out so many things. I went to the gym and was home by 10:30 which ALWAYS makes my day feel more productive when I hit the gym before noon. Then I came home and figured out all of my paperwork for TQS and submitted my transcripts from UofL, UofC and Athabasca. Then I paid the fee and they told me they should have everything they need by next week at the latest. THEN I set up an appointment to get my criminal record check done at no charge to me this afternoon too. I did some banking also figuring out accounts and credit card payments etc.
I've started some laundry too and cleaning my room. I plan to have a shower right away and cook some chicken and vegetables for the next few days. Then I have my appointment at 2:30 and I work at 5.

I also spoke to my cousin about going to Orlando with S at the end of July and I am actually pathetically excited.

Like when wish you could read your favorite book again for the first time.

You know, it's funny how much your heart can impact you. How much it can affect you.
I love number 12 and I probably always will. But I feel more okay after speaking to him the last few weeks and knowing how he is but not longing for him than I have in a very long time.
Sometimes I wonder if it's really him that I want to be with or if I just don't want to start over with someone else. I think that's the hardest part of relationships. You let somebody in and they learn about you and you learn about them and you because a part of one another's families. And then you break up and you have to start all over.
I think that's why I've been so apprehensive to move on completely. I am partially afraid to open up to someone again and partially I'm just not sure I want to go through all of that again. At least, I didn't think I wanted to.
Now, I think I'm approaching readiness. I want to learn to be with someone else. I want to be in love again. I want to feel the butterflies and the silent safety and security that stops me in my tracks. I want to fall in love again.

In a world of my own...

Somebody please give me a dose of reality.

Ridiculous self.

How pathetic am I actually missing him when I don't see him for a day. Grow up self.

Giddy little school girl.

Remind me to explain my love tomorrow.

You are so beautiful to me, can't you see?

Ahhh I don't know what to do!

I wrote this.

My sister inspires me every day and this is one of the many ways I show her.

Oh my gosh.

I am seriously in love.