I'm stuck on you.

There you go making my heart beat again.

6 x 2

The hardest part of my life is that even on the days I can consider a new boy for a few seconds or minutes or hours, at the end of the day, the only one that matters to me is number twelve. At the end of the day when I'm laying in my bed, the only boy I care about is him. When I wake up, I think of him. When I fall asleep, I think of him. When I see the last moments f my life, he's the one laying next to me.

I don't want to start again.

"Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go, but rather, learning to start over."
-Nicole Sobon

Rants.

Education frustrates me. I love it and I'm passionate about it. At the same time, it drives me crazy. Everything about universities and the way that they run, opposes everything we know about effective learning and good education, especially large universities. That's a huge part of why I chose U of L. My professors know me, they care about me and they make a genuine effort to advance my knowledge and achieve my life goals.
One of my professors right now did research on my Canadian history class that I took over 2 and a half years so. She did a 20 minute interview with me and still knows my name, remembers my idea and my major.
I think part of why I hate education is because I know that while many other people I know are in faculties of education, they aren't as good as U of L. I don't say that out of arrogance or cockiness or anything condescending. I say that out of proven fact that the faculty of education that I'm in is one of the hardest programs to get into and is world renowned. Obviously not everyone can go through this faculty but what bothers me is that someone who is less prepared and ~probably~ didn't work as hard as I did during their degree is going to be paid exactly the same as me as a first year teacher. And obviously I'm not in education for the money but there's a disconnect there. I work extra hard to say I'm in the best program to work right next to someone who took a program that was easy to get into because they wanted to work 8-4 Monday to Friday and get summers off?
I just don't see how that is the most effective way of educating students. Shouldn't we all have high caliber programs that force students to push themselves? I mean I complain how much homework I have but I wouldn't change it. I like working hard and knowing I'm getting a good education.

Emoticons.

It's weird when dudes use emoticons right? It's not just me... Unless you wanna bang, it's weird.

how I feel about my family most days.

I know there's more important things,
but don't forget to remember me.

Never stop fighting

It's hard to fight the things we're afraid of, sometimes we just need a little help.

Magic School Bus

"Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!"
-Miss Frizzle

Always give more than you take.

I hope you always forgive and you never regret and you help somebody every chance you get.

Need sleep.

Boys are stupid. That's all.
Only it's not all. JS called me tonight to pick up him and B tonight. It was fine except for I was asleep so now I can't fall back asleep. I suppose it's nice to know he thought of me when he was drunk. That could very well mean nothing more and nothing less than I'm reliable.