Saturday, January 31, 2015
I ask too much of you, please stop saying yes.
On Thursday, I stopped to pick up some cash. I stopped and I was in a bad mood. If I'm honest, I was annoyed about the whole Duke situation. It bothers me how much he's here for me but he will never let me be there for him. He is so incredibly hit and miss and it is frustrating to no end. Like Monday was honestly so perfect. And literally when I walk in his house every single time he's like, "DUKE LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!!!!!" But then I basically asked him to let me have Duke for the weekend and C was like yeah I think if S doesn't take him I have to stay there. And like to a certain degree I get it but like C doesn't want to go stay with Duke and she works like 12 hours today and tomorrow. I actually would have just gone to J's and marked and hung out with Duke all day today. I like dogs, I like spending time with Duke. I would've walked him because I wanted to, not because I expected anything.
So Thursday I didn't even go into the office. I literally waited for C to come out and when she did I was like hey can I have my cash. She's like yep are you okay? I just got your message. All I had said in my message was like when are you done work, I could really use a glass of wine with a friend tonight.
So we're standing outside the office talking and J walks out and taps me on the head with papers. And then again and again and again probably 6 or 7 times. I didn't say a thing or react in any way shape or form so he walked away. Then I went to the washroom before I was getting ready to leave and he says, "well aren't you just a ray of sunshine". I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. His response to my eye roll was, "and by ray of sunshine I mean the EXACT OPPOSITE of a ray of sunshine". I think what annoys me most about him calling me out for being grumpy is that he is probably the MOST emotional mood swinging human in history. He is sooo grumpy some days and I rarely make a point to throw it in his face and I am never like that and the one day I am, he makes a point to throw it in mine. And I guarantee he was doing it for a reaction and to try and make me laugh but he just drives me crazy.
I was thinking about it though and I've been looking for an Arsenal jacket. He's going to an Arsenal game tomorrow (dick) so against my better judgement I sent him a message apologizing for being grumpy but and recognizing it was too much to ask but asking him to bring me back a specific jacket if he came across one and then I'd give him the cash when he got back. I also included that if he couldn't it was no big deal and I hope he enjoyed the wine.
I think the hardest part for me is that I just don't understand how we go from Monday to Thursday. And I know I've been excessively emotional this week but it's just annoying. I just don't understand how we go from him telling me to come hang out and talking and laughing and feeling such an immensity to barely speaking.
So Thursday I didn't even go into the office. I literally waited for C to come out and when she did I was like hey can I have my cash. She's like yep are you okay? I just got your message. All I had said in my message was like when are you done work, I could really use a glass of wine with a friend tonight.
So we're standing outside the office talking and J walks out and taps me on the head with papers. And then again and again and again probably 6 or 7 times. I didn't say a thing or react in any way shape or form so he walked away. Then I went to the washroom before I was getting ready to leave and he says, "well aren't you just a ray of sunshine". I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. His response to my eye roll was, "and by ray of sunshine I mean the EXACT OPPOSITE of a ray of sunshine". I think what annoys me most about him calling me out for being grumpy is that he is probably the MOST emotional mood swinging human in history. He is sooo grumpy some days and I rarely make a point to throw it in his face and I am never like that and the one day I am, he makes a point to throw it in mine. And I guarantee he was doing it for a reaction and to try and make me laugh but he just drives me crazy.
I was thinking about it though and I've been looking for an Arsenal jacket. He's going to an Arsenal game tomorrow (dick) so against my better judgement I sent him a message apologizing for being grumpy but and recognizing it was too much to ask but asking him to bring me back a specific jacket if he came across one and then I'd give him the cash when he got back. I also included that if he couldn't it was no big deal and I hope he enjoyed the wine.
I think the hardest part for me is that I just don't understand how we go from Monday to Thursday. And I know I've been excessively emotional this week but it's just annoying. I just don't understand how we go from him telling me to come hang out and talking and laughing and feeling such an immensity to barely speaking.
Why won't you ever just let me all the way in.
I always ask too much of you. Yet, you always deliver. I feel like you do so much for me but you will never let me do anything for you.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Ahhhh.
Soooooo C and I realized that tomorrow is T's birthday and we didn't get him a present yet and T is well aware of the fact that we got J something soooo FUCK.
J is like get him tea and a French press. We're like uhhh doesn't T already have a French press and like a billion pounds of tea? Useful J.
We think we found a shirt but J is NOT telling me what size of shirt T is.
J is like get him tea and a French press. We're like uhhh doesn't T already have a French press and like a billion pounds of tea? Useful J.
We think we found a shirt but J is NOT telling me what size of shirt T is.
Moments matter.
I went to his house for a bit after work and played with my best friend Duke. It was really nice actually we just sat and chatted for over an hour. I probably would've stayed longer a) if he wasn't on his cleanse and we were drinking wine and b) if I didn't have to get up at 5am.
We honestly just laughed for like an hour straight. He told me about his trip finally and we talked about plenty of ridiculous things. Haha we watched celebrity apprentice and I fed Duke an apple. My pants are absolutely covered in slime and hair but I realllyy love Duke and hopefully I will get to stay with him this weekend. J is going to London for 2 days to watch the Arsenal versus Aston Villa game and I am so incredibly jealous!
We honestly just laughed for like an hour straight. He told me about his trip finally and we talked about plenty of ridiculous things. Haha we watched celebrity apprentice and I fed Duke an apple. My pants are absolutely covered in slime and hair but I realllyy love Duke and hopefully I will get to stay with him this weekend. J is going to London for 2 days to watch the Arsenal versus Aston Villa game and I am so incredibly jealous!
I think my favourite part is how different he is. I have never seen him laugh the way he was last night. He was honestly in stitches laughing so hard. We have had some pretty funny moments before but I was almost in tears laughing and he was imitating this girl and he was laughing so hard while he did it. It was just nice because it was us and I think that's the real J. I think that's the J he shows me more than other people. That's the J he's afraid for people to see. I just enjoyed hanging out and being silly and watching Celebrity Apprentice.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
My best friend is better than yours.
Yesterday S sent me this photo and I needed it so badly. I have been in such a funny place with relationships lately.
I really like that family.
It's been a kind of interesting weekend with regards to the B family. On Friday, I walked into work so incredibly exhausted that I got a Starbucks on my way. J looks at me and says, "I'm really disappointed in you". I'm like because I wore this to school? He laughed and said no because you didn't bring me a booster juice and I was really hoping that you would.
We had a few funny chats but then later that night I heard a funny story about K and how these Louboutin shoes she never shut up about to us for like a month were fake and when she admitted they were fake she said, "but don't tell J". So I texted him to tell him and he was kind of short with me but I was like whatever grumpy pants you're taking this way too seriously.
Saturday when he walked into work the first thing he did was apologize to me about Friday night which I appreciated.
So after work CG and K and I went for a glass of wine and T sat with us for like an hour and we just chatted and whatever. T told us lots about his family and their dad and why he didn't like him etc. It's really sad actually because it's only been like 4-5 years since they stopped speaking. It was just kind of nice to see a different side of T like that. I really like T as a person but he is SO dramatic. After we talked for awhile T ordered us another bottle of wine and then he took care of our entire bill which I thought was really really nice. It was nice because CG does A LOT for the boys, K is a great server and I'm well me haha so it was all people who are useful to T. I think K, the girl who served us was really mad that he took care of our entire bill because he doesn't do as much for her and it's like okay but like come on.
Anyways it was just kind of nice.
We had a few funny chats but then later that night I heard a funny story about K and how these Louboutin shoes she never shut up about to us for like a month were fake and when she admitted they were fake she said, "but don't tell J". So I texted him to tell him and he was kind of short with me but I was like whatever grumpy pants you're taking this way too seriously.
Saturday when he walked into work the first thing he did was apologize to me about Friday night which I appreciated.
So after work CG and K and I went for a glass of wine and T sat with us for like an hour and we just chatted and whatever. T told us lots about his family and their dad and why he didn't like him etc. It's really sad actually because it's only been like 4-5 years since they stopped speaking. It was just kind of nice to see a different side of T like that. I really like T as a person but he is SO dramatic. After we talked for awhile T ordered us another bottle of wine and then he took care of our entire bill which I thought was really really nice. It was nice because CG does A LOT for the boys, K is a great server and I'm well me haha so it was all people who are useful to T. I think K, the girl who served us was really mad that he took care of our entire bill because he doesn't do as much for her and it's like okay but like come on.
Anyways it was just kind of nice.
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