hahahahahaha

okay dad, the couch.... because that's exactly where he slept.

i love my daddy.

the other night number twelve and i fell asleep before i was supposed to take him home. and my daddy knew he was there but he didn't think he was staying over night. it was honestly an accident, i planned to take him home. but we did, inevitably fall asleep. in the morning he took my vehicle home and his momma was nooot happy he never came home. my daddy however was like "oh b, i don't mind him staying over as long as i know ahead of time. the couch is alwys open."

it scares me.

love. love is a very, very strong word. i mean to tell someone you love them, to tell a boy you are in love with them is a big step. i love the kid to death, i really do; but to say that i'm in love with him is a scary, scary thing. i have only ever told one boy i am in love with him and i waited until after he broke my heart time and time again. it scares me, love. it's such a big thing to say. it just seems like a way to set yourself up for a broken heart.

frightening horoscopes.

"no matter how maddening their idiosyncrasies are, you love them. repeat that over and over again, until you believe it."

explanation of last blog title.

"i broke down crying; was she worth this mess?
after everything in that little black dress,
after everything, i must confess
i s t i l l need you".
-tswift.

the other side of the door.

he also told me he couldn't explain it but somehow still after everything, he still was so into me. despite our best efforts to make the other one jealous, and to start fights and to just annoy the other person cause we can; it's still me.

pink.

i missed him so much and last night we talked for so long. he opened up to me. he wasn't stoked on the fact another boy kissed me the other night (by not stoked i mean, "i'm going to kick his ass"). we were both just happy to be together because it's just been so long. he told me he might actually tell people he's seeing someone when he gets back. and he made sure i knew he hasn't touched a single girl since i was last there.

the fire isn't even warm.

last night we were just having a chat, laying on the couch and he was like i can honestly say i miss you. i don't think i have ever told anyone that before but i honestly missed you so much.

a wholeee night.

i got the whole night with him. and it was amazing. holy man did i miss him. he came over and we just cuddled on the couch for like a half hour when he first got here. i think i miss that the most; just laying in his arms, being. we went out and i'm glad we did... i mean i'm sure we both would've been content to just stay home and watch a movie but we decided to be social. and it was really fun. haha fortunately he came home we me and we fell asleep haha momma number 12 wasn't happy today.

i should say was.

he was home. he went with the fam to see his cousins for christmas. i hope he is home tomorrow. i should really ask i he comes home tomorrow or boxing day.

finally.

he's home.

surprise parties.

okay soooo funny. i was tired and grumpy and sick so i drove last night. it was v's surprise birthday and it was dress up and it was fun and like 3 dollar drinks and just a shit show. so i dropped brether off and then i forgot i had me's id soo i take it back and then dragon calls me like b, i'm sooo drunk! please come get me. l squared decided he'd call me to come get him 3 separate times and then waited till i was at home in bed to actually call to go home. so i head into sharks and there's dragon, kodiak, rc and bk. and it was soo funny. we're all just sitting in my vehicle waiting for bk and by this point i'm like seriously, like i wanna go home. so kodiak throws out the last post and starts going on this rant about how we will bow down to you and make sure the world revolves around you. baha. it was really funny at the time.

oh kodiak.

"don't worry bryce; it's your world, we're just living in it."

4 hours of sleep.

this morning i woke up with someone sitting on top of me. then i moved and he took my couch spot because apparently his bed wasn't good enough?? someone is bucking and we can all hear; clearly its britty. then my sister crawled on top of me and said we need to go home now, i can't drive though. so we get in her jeep and i start driving. we are stopped at the lights and she opens the door and bucks out just in time for the light to change. we continue our drive and she opens her window and bucks pretty well the entire way home. i drop her off and go home.
what a morning.

fml.

i am so fucking hungover.

i miss grade 12!

"memories within us,
dreams ahead of us."