invictus.

Out of the night that covers me
black as pit from pole to pole
I think whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul.

In fell the clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
under the bludgeonings of chance
my head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade
and yet the menace of the years
finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gate
how charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

fuck.

I also just fucked up really really bad for work. I accidentally picked up a shift that I absolutely cannot work and I'm so mad because I have a test so I legitimately can't work and just accidentally clicked it. But fuck I hope my managers see my email before they approve the shift because I honestly cannot cannot work it. FUCK. FUCK TECHNOLOGY.

timeless.

I finished my stats midterm finaallly. I hate stats so much. Why do I even need to take a stats class? Stupidest requirement ever. Anyways it took a whole lot longer than I thought it would to re-write it but I still don't necessarily think that I understand anything I am submitting tomorrow hahaha.
Oh well, I also finished my moodle and studied a bit for social psych. So I'm going to read through my social psych notes again, hit the hay and get up early so I can study for social psych and resistance training since I have virtually zero time tomorrow. I actually need to go to bed.

this time, no.

silence is full of sound.

I am currently feeling this inherent need to write. To express, to communicate. The problem is that I have absolutely nothing to say.

apathy.

I should be so stressed out about how much homework I have right now but I am so incredibly apathetic. I just like don't care. I know it will all get done it time and for the first time in my life I'm not stressing myself out about how little time I have and how much I have to get done. I just don't care anymore. And that scares me a little because there's not a whole lot I care about these days.

who needs valentine's when daddy brings flowers and chocolates just because.

Daddy came here today. It was the first time I've seen him in like six weeks it was crazy. I missed him so much. Growing up sucks, sometimes I still wish I was so little and mommy and daddy took care of anything and the most stressful thing in life was that I had to have a nap in half hour. It just seems like life was so simple back then.
I didn't have homework and work and school and friends and family issues and worst of all boys that could break my heart. I had nothing to worry about and everything was just peachy. I am stressed out and I don't even know why.
We went for brunch and it was so good, I had a mimosa and it was incredible.... okay I had two hahahaha. But then we went for a bit of a drive, I showed him a few things, we got a few groceries and had a quick chat at the house. He is driving to rd now to see B. What a good dad like he drives here from calg then goes straight home to see the other daughter. And he knows I have lots of studying so it's kind of nice that he like respected that.
He also brought me flowers and coffee crisp bites and I'm pretttyyyy excited for them. My stomach is upset but I'm probably going to have a mini box of smarties here with my ginger ale hahahaha. Anyways I need to go study.

never waste another day wondering what you threw away.

the whole world could change in a minute
just one kiss stop it spinning, we could think it through but
I don't want to if you don't want to
we could keep things just the same,
leave here the way we came with nothing to lose but
I don't want to if you don't want to.

the L family.

So last night I worked and then DL and JL were down so I went and met them after work. Honestly, I love those guys. They are really great friends. DL was handi-hands drunk (a type of wasted drunk unique to the L family). And J and just had the funniest time telling jokes and chirping people etc. We sat in this lounge and chatted with a good buddy of JL's and had a few drinks. Then we decided to go to this place called Backstreet. GHETTO as fuck but seems very typical cheap-college-drinking-esque and this was the photo on the door:



Classy place right. I mean if I were walking into the men's washroom and I was teh type of person to have a firearm on me, I'd probably not pay any attention to that sign. I mean what do you do, "hey bud can you watch my gun while I go piss? I'll just leave it on the table."
Anyways we only had one drink there because this creepy guy that used to work with J was just telling us his life story and chatting JL up so hard and he's like looking at me rolling his eyes but at the same time just playing it off like he is bffs with this weirdo. Then we got some stuff from the Mac's store (I love sour patch kids). And then we went back to their dad's house but B is gone to Ontario right now so he wasn't there. We just ordered Two Guys Pizza (BEST PIZZA EVER) and then basked, watched some Drew Carey and 3Rd Rock from the Sun and then I came home to bed.