relative.

"No matter how clear you think your perspective on life is- the person next to you has a different one. Because.. everything is relative."
- Dan Goldberg

I can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye.

I hope you know that every time I don't, 

I almost do. 

On another note.

Oh, also, my roommate is a nympho.

I can't escape you no matter where I go.

I kind of want to get facebook back but I know it's a bad idea. I need number twelve to not know what's going on in my life right now. It's hard because I miss him every single day. I don't know how to explain that though. People are always trying to hook me up with boys and I'm just not ready. I just am not ready for another relationship. I don't even have my heart back from the last boy, let's ease up on trying to give it to someone else.
Tomorrow I'm going hiking with his sister which should be interesting. I suppose I'm just not really sure what to think right now. I think it's nice we're going to go hiking but I'm not sure what I think about the whole situation. I still haven't responded to him after that stupid text message but I don't really know what to say. I don't know where my heart is at or my head for that matter. I have known that he's leaving for two years for so long. I have known he wanted to move away and I have known that it will probably be the best thing for us. However, that doesn't make him leaving any easier.
I drove by his house when I was home the other day. It's so difficult for me to be in RD because I always just want to see him. It's hard to be in Lethvegas and Calgary because we did so many things in those places. Everywhere I go is a memory. Even work is one of the first places he took me out for dinner. I just can't escape him no matter where I am.

cue rant.

I should be writing my paper but this has been bothering me all day so I have to vent it. The other day NC called me aka number twelve's sister to see if I had time to come for a 3 hour drive to the USA with her. I mentioned it to DVZ this morning and she's like yeah we actually talked about you last weekend when I played ball with her. She thinks you're a really sweet girl and that her brother is an idiot who just fucks with your head.
I was like pardon fucking me. Why do you talk to her about me? I didn't say that but it frustrates me because NC has told me before that her mom and her have discussed that I am too good for their son. That's a pretty bold statement in my opinion. Even if my parents thought that I don't think they would ever vocalize that to anyone about me.