bahaha

"wishes are for girls with broken hearts and boys with broken condoms."

are you ready to be a parent? no.

seriously, having unsafe sex is not a cool thing to do. you are 19, your body cannot wait to get prego. that's what it's built for, you're at a prime age biologically to have children. don't be dumb. and especially, when you've always called others out for it, do not get defensive and upset with the person for calling you out. you're being a hypocrite. so grow up and deal with the consequences of your action.

turn it up.

i like the sound of the fireplace crackling,
watching a movie, holding you tight.
yeah, i love it when i hear you laughing,
at that joke i've told a thousand times.
and i like the sound of guitars screaming,
music so loud we talk with our eyes.

i like the sound of the alarm clock ringing, means i'll spend another day with you.

turn it up a little louder, i can never ever get enough.
turn it up, turn it up, 'cause whenever i'm aroud you
you've got me thinking that,
i like the sound of that.

i like the sound of your heart beating,
in my arms right here right now.
when it's so quiet i can hear you breathing,
that may be my favorite sound.

luke bryan.

don't worry about nothing,
let it go, see what tomorrow brings.
don't worry about nothing,
pray about everything.

just a few of my favorite artists.

-brad paisley. he's incredible.
-tswift of course.
-carrie underwood
-jack's mannequin
-everly
-tyler hilton
-blink 182 (i'd do almost anything to see them live)
-john michael montgomery (unbelieveable classic country)
-gavin degraw
-lady antebellum
-the beatles. if you ever need anything, they'll cheer you up.
-the kooks
-all american rejects
-augustana
-dashboard confessional
-jack. there is one and only one jack johnson.
- jimmy eat world
-jason aldean
-audioslave
-kate nash
-kate voegele
-marianas trench
-nada surf
-michelle branch/ the wreckers
-senses fail
-the cranberries
-sugarcult
-three doors down
-tim mcgraw
-yellowcard
-miranda lambert. i never used to be a fan but she's grown on me.
-michael buble
-frank sinatra
-la rocca
-keane
-keith anderson
-keith urban
-the eagles
-jason aldean
-illscarlett
-goo goo dolls.
-george strait. country at its best.
-foo fighters
-eve 6
-enation
-emerson drive

i wanna be 'she'.

"she's everything i ever wanted,
everything i need.
i talk about her i go on and on and on.
'cause she's everything to me."

may you never take one single breath for granted.

there's no combination of words i could put on the back of a post card. no song that i could sing but i ca  try for your heart. our dreams, and they are made out of real things. like a shoebox of photographs, sephia tone loving. love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart. like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard? it's not always easy and sometimes life can be decieving; i'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.

love is fearless.

lucky numbers.

i need to win the lottery. like badly. i'm dying from lack of shopping. i've spent sooo much time online and there's soo much i want. yuck, university broke-ness sucks.

so little time.

ugh i do not feel good right now.

i miss the girl i used to be.

i was looking at old pictures of myself today and i think that grade 12 was the best year of my life. i honestly hd so much fun and it was so much less stressful and everyone just got along. everyone got over the drama and just had fun. it didn't matter if you were popular or not, probably the most stuck up girl at the school had a party for all graduating students of our year. she has an acrage and everyone in our grad class was invited and it was really cool to just see that.
i was healthiest then i think. i was happy and a good size and i had good friends and it was just really nice. i wish i could go back to that, or at least be the kind of person i was then. maybe that's my issue. i don't know how to be that person again.

you're subtleties, they strangle me.

when darkness turns to light,
it ends tonight.

there's a place in your heart and i know that it is love.

heal the world, make it a better place.
for you and for me and the entire human race.
there are people dying, if you care enough for the living
make a better place for you and for me.

there's gotta be something more.

there's gotta be something more, gotta be more than this.
i need a little less hard times, i need a little more bliss.

always love, hate will get you every time.

it's coming down to nothing more than apathy.

i never knew that everything was falling through.

where did i go wrong?
i lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness.

i told you, you could always count on me.

baby there ain't no mountain high enough,
ain't no valley low enough,
ain't no river wide enough;
to keep me from getting to you.

baby there ain't no mountain high enough.

just call my name i'll be there in a hurry you don't have to worry.

don't forget boy, you're your momma's only son.

are you still a bullet in your daddy's gun?

are you the man you thought you'd be?

you say you're living on the edge and i think you're hanging from the ledge; too scared to hold the hand that wants to help you up.

excuses for the answers that you lack.

you took a little piece of home and you threw away the rest.

falling for you, i fell for you.

there's so much on my mind, it's tearing me apart.

one more day, one more time.

last night i had a crazy dream. a wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything. i didn't ask for money or a mansion by the pool; i simply wished for one more day with you.

you can't break a broken heart.

i'd rather you be mean than love and lie.
i'd rather hear the truth than have to say goodbye.
i'd rather take a blow, at least then i would know;
but baby don't you break my heart slow.

maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming.

i feel lost. i think number 12 is done. and i really don't blame him. at the very least, i don't deserve him. i just can't imagine my life without him. you all know my feelings on love and telling someone you love them but i really do love him with my whole heart. i'd do anything for him. and i don't always treat him the way he deserves to be treated and i'm really working on it. but i think he's just over it. i think he wants to move on. and it breaks my heart. i think he's holding on for me though. and i don't want that. i just want a relationship with him and i don't think he's ready for that. and i get that, i respect it. but is he ever going to respect me enough again to be in a relationship. i can wait, i just need to know if i'm waiting for something real or if i'm waiting to get my heart broken. if you wanna break my heart, do it now. my heart really can't be shattered a whole lot more right now, i can't possibly feel that much worse than i already do. so if you can never let this go, if you can never move past it, if you never want to be with me, please, i'm begging you just end it now, but baby don't you break my heart slow.

just find the courage to face it all for another day.

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay in the path, will others tell you who you are, or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice, or embrace a new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
There comes a time when every live goes off course. In this desperate moment, who will you be? Will you let down your defences and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? WIll you face your greatest fears, bravely, and move forward with faith? Or will you secome to the darkness in your soul?"

just a stranger on a bus trying to make his way home.

what if God was one of us?

one question, was it you?

the last post has really been bothering me for the last week. if i am honest, i'm actually really shaken about what happened to me last wednesday. i'm really not sure what to think or what to feel. i wish i knew what happened. i have no desire to go to normal teenage things. i'm not a huge drinker as it is (minus wine of course) but i have no desire to go out with my friends or anything. i just have no desire to be anywhere that i could be in that kind of situation again. and i'm sure with time this feeling will fade like most do but i just can't imagine what kind of person could do something like that.

i see a stranger in the mirror.

"Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself and seen a stranger in the background. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people's lives have we been in? Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true? Or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life and not even know it."

what if i told you that innocence was yours.

what if i told you your tears haven't been ignored?
and everything that was taken can be restored.
feel this, can you feel this?

the world you desire can be won.

"There are moments in our life that we find ourselves at a crossroads; afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in awhile people push on to something better; something found just beyond the pain of going on alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in; or give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you are tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you are tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist. Somewhere on the other side of the hardwork and faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."

i think i might have to so it alone.

"Life comes at us from out of the darkness and at times we can struggle to find the courage to face it. When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose th face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise, and will their love for you help them guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness? Will they make noble choices? Or will that person be someone untested, someone new?
Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness and when it does there's someone in your life that you can count on. Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall and in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone."

the only thing you want is just to be still for awhile.

if your heart wears thin, i will hold you up.

passion unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Sometimes I wonder if anything's absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, grey? Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us. Truth is still absolute. Believe that, even when that truth is hard and cold and more painful than you've ever imagined. And even when that truth is more painful than any lie.

sofa king.

and i'll look back and regret how i ignored when they said,
"run as fast as you can".

all you need is one good friend.

my daddy used to tell me, any man can be a king.
it ain't that complicated, it's a very simple thing.
you don't need no castle, or a throne for sitting in.

how about a strong shot of honesty, don't you owe that to me

if i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose,
if i'm not that arrow to the heart of you.
if you don't get drunk off my kiss,
if you think you can do better than this.
then i guess we're done, let's not drag this on;
consider me gone.
consider me a memory, consider me the past.
consider me a smile in an old photogragh;
someone who used to make you laugh.

if i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose.

everytime i turn a conversation to something deeper than the weather, i can feel you all but shutting down. and when i need an explanation for the silence you just tell me you don't wanna talk about it now. what you're not saying is coming out loud and clear. we're at a crossroads here.

sometimes time doesn't heal, no not at all.

are we just holding on to things that we don't have anymore?

you used to shine so bright but i watched all of it fade.

all the girls that you run dry with tired lifeless eyes
cause you burned them out.
but i took your matches before fire could catch me
so don't look now.

i can see the pain in your eyes.

everybody's changing and i don't feel the same.

life is not tried it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire.

we call them fools, who have to dance within the flame
who'd chance the sorrow and the shame
that always come with getting burned.

i used to be strong.

we call them strong, those who can face this world alone.

life's picking up.

ohhhh my gosh. i got the new blackberry bold and it is beautiful and i love it.

victor hugo

"the first symptom of love in a young man is shyness.

the first symptom in a women, it's boldness."

salt water.

i'm seriously in so much pain. my head has never hurt this bad in my whole life. like i'm in tears it hurts that much. i just want it to stop.

fishy situation.

all i want to know is what the f happened to me last wednesday. i want to know if it is who they suspect it is. i want to see him in person, it is the only way to know for sure. i just feel like everything about it is fishy. and please i beg for anything to make my head stop hurting.

stupid concussion.

i really really really wish my head would stop hurting.

then i did.

i've gotta go and find these dreams.

everybody's got something they had to leave behind.

i never had a dream come true until the day that i found you
even though i pretend that i've moved on, you'll always be my baby.
i never found the words to say you're the one i think about each day;
and i know no matter where life takes me to
a part of me will always be with you.

the kooks.

you're so naive.

there will be an answer.

whisper words of wisdom,
let it be.

if we loved again, i swear i'd love you right.

i'm only gonna break your heart.

number 12 and i made a cake on saturday and we spent the whole day together. we took the dogs to the park and played fetch for like two hours and then we came home and raked the leaves and he tackled me to the ground and the dogs just loved it. max and ford and number 12 were all on top of me shoving leaves down my jeans. so funny. it was incredible. he made me lunch and it was nice. but in their kitchen there are pictures from the wedding that they went to a few months back and i have to be honest, it really upsets me still. i know i should be over it and i can't change it and it was me that cheated on him but he went into that knowing how much it would hurt me. and i'm not over it because i'm not in family pictures with them. there's no pictures of him and i on the fridge. and we've been together for two and a half years. is it wrong that that upsets me?

he picked me, fuck off.

i fuckinggg hate hate hate some stupid girls. like two in the whole world i hate. but i hate hate hateeee them so much. i realize hate is a strong word but i seriously hateeeeee these two girls. they both go out of their way to make number 12 not like me. they will do anything to try and make me jealous. and i am not a jealous person. i occasionally get jealous but i don't just hate girls. just leave him alone. he's mine. there are how many other boys out there. number 12 is mine so go f off.

law and order.

i can't magine being a police officer. like i have always wanted to be on the svu team in new york but i can't imagine coming home being like hi honey how was your day. oh good i shot and killed someone you.

i hate winter.

this morning i missed my class because i didn't realize it snowed or that it was minus 10000 outside so my vehicle couldn't defrost fast enough and i couldn't scrape it off fast enough so by the time i got to school i would have been 15 minutes late. and i hate walking into class late. so instead i went and got a coffee and spend the morning in the library until i had class again. and i don't plan to leave my home until it is integral to my survival because it's flipping freezing.

negative nancy.

i hate winter. i hate cold. and i hate stupid la wind. it's flipping freezing here.

confessions.

don't confess this thing that breaks my heart.

it's perfect; didn't seem so perfect.

trying to fit a square into a circle was your life.

we go together like bamblambada.

you're the one that i want.
you are the one that i want.

and my heart is set on you.

you'd better shape up,
cause i need a man.

i need you.

help, i need somebody.
help, not just anybody.

i'll follow you.

where do you go when you're lonely?
where do you go when you're blue?

three words, eight letters; i love you.

number 12.

i hope so.

he chose you; that has to mean something.

the rest of us just have to keep moving forward.

people who are meant to be together
always find their way in the end.

i like s.

why does everyone hate serena van der woodsen?
and why does everyone want to destroy her?

what if you don't.

careful what you wish for cause you just might get it.

the gossip girl men are exquisite.

nate archibald, dan humphrey and chuck bass; please ravish me.

i'm gonna give all my secrets away.

tell me what you want to hear.

university life.

i wish that when you picked your program and minor that they just gave you a schedule and you had no choice but to take the exact classes they told you to. it would make life so much easier. i mean i like that i can pick what classes and take things that interest me but i am soooo indecisive so it's so frustrating to pick my classes. and partly i am trying to take everything in one semester.

all i feel is pain.

you didn't have to do it but you did it to say that
you didn't have to do it but you would anyway.

just one single blow.

you have knocked me off my feet again,
got me feeling like i'm nothing.