I wonder if he knows he changed my life.

I'm sitting here, reading old blogs posts from when I first met J. Tears are streaming down my face. I know that he's impacted me significantly, but I don't know if I really realized just how much until right now.

Ego inflation.

As J is talking about how he should charge a fee for 'a young good-looking manager,' CG was like obviously he means to have me as the manager. I'm laughing and say yeah I was thinking C too.  J looks at me and says "B, did you notice  how perfectly my belt matches my shoes?" and lifts up his shirt to show me his belt. I'm such a bitch haha and I say something along the lines of you're just so perfect J; you're so well-dressed and everyone loves you, the world should simply bow down to you. 

He smirks, laughs and says, "I know". 

Brown Gucci Shoes.

I was nervous a little to go in today. I didn't know if he would be over it or if he'd be a child about it. Sometimes J is incredibly immature. I get it, he spends the majority of his time around 18-22 year old girls.
I just take moments when I am mean like that so deeply to heart and I know he does too. So tonight when I walked in, he saw me and backed up to look at my boots. I love that immediately he was just him and I again.
He was just being so nice and he was dressed so well and I just haven't seen him like that in awhile.
He left without saying bye and we joked about it after.
I want this so bad.

KS... whoops.

I bought a ridiculously expensive pair of boots today. I have never spent so much money on a pair of shoes in my life... and they were ON SALE. I have been looking at them for so long though and I just thought, fuck. I like them, I've been looking for a new pair of black boots, I may as well spend the money on good boots I will get lots of wear out of them.
That's something both my parents always did too. We have always spent money on good shoes in our family.

That silly man.

The post two down is the epitome of J and my's relationship. I actually cannot put into words how dead on that feels.
On Monday we kind of got into a fight... and by got into a fight, I mean I was a bitch and he had every reason to get upset and leave the office while we were sitting there. He was completely justified in being upset and I know that I was wrong. I sent him a text to apologize on Tuesday morning but he didn't answer. I know it's stupid and he was probably over it already but it still has been bothering me all week.
Today I walked in and he says, "I LOVE that jacket. And you already know that because I tell you every time you wear it". I needed that. I apologized again. I was like sorry for being a bitch, you should have said B stop being SUCH a bitch. And he's like I thought you would've got the memo when I burst out of the office mid-conversation. I was like yeah, I'm sorry.
I know it seems silly but that kind of stuff really bothers me. I feel better now.
I said to him, "tomorrow, even if you hate my boots you have to tell me you love them". He's like okay, why?  I told him I spent too much haha and I neeeeeed to be told how wonderful they are. He's like good for you! I was like yeah the Bay had a sale, obviously the ones I chose were NOT on sale 50 percent off. He's like isn't that the way?

He's just so good to me. Even when I am not to him he is always so good to me.

Green.

Nailed it.