Wow.

Fuck.

I fucked up. Bad. And I can't take it back. 

Some sort of sign would be nice.

Sometimes I wish I weren't so stubborn. I had such a great day and I want to tell him about it. But I can't, or more specifically, I won't. 

I'm not surprised, not even a little. He's back in another one of his phases. So I'm trying to let him have his space. I had a really interesting week last week. It was pretty blatantly voiced to me that the feelings only went one way. And maybe that person was right. I don't know if she is right. I've certainly entertained the idea a lot more this week. I suppose I lack  understanding more than anything else. 

Someone.

Sometimes you just get so damn tired of everyone else having someone.