i remember the moment.

is it possible that anyone loved as fiercely as we did on that day?

it takes every breath, leaves every scar.

if i'd knew then, what i know now,
i'd fall in love.

watch me strike a match on all my wasted time.

go and tell your friends that i'm obsessive and crazy,
that's fine. i'll tell mine you're gay.

and by the way,
i really, really hate that stupid old pickup truck
you never let me drive.
you're a redneck heart break
who's really bad at lying.

state the obvious, i didn't get my perfect fantasy.

and if you're missing me, you'd better keep it to yourself.
'cause coming back around here would be bad for your health.

as far as i'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn.

and if you come around saying sorry to me,
my daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be.

truth comes out a little at a time.

you'd better be careful what you do, i wouldn't wanna be in your shoes if they ever found you out. you'd better be careful what you say, it never really added up anyway. i've got friends in this town.

love, always. love, all ways.

a coward is incapable of exhibiting love;
it is the perogative of the brave.

you never know.

i apologized to jv today. i really like her a lot, she's very nice and a really fun time. she was one of the nicest people to me last year when i visited. i found out about a week ago that when number twelve and i were on a break they kinda had a thing and i pretty much killed that without any warning. i felt like such a dick when i heard that because i'm not like that and she is such a nice girl. i felt awful to think that i destroyed a relationship of his with someone that might've been better than me. someone that wouldn't have broken his heart. a couple that didn't hurt each other so much. i know there's nothing i can do now and she told me to not worry about it about 17 times and that i didn't need to apologize but i felt i did. so i feel a little better.

dry eyes.

i am exhausted. like beyond imagination. i think i counted about 10 hours at the lovely library today. in fact, i was there so long i sat by myself, and with 3 other groups who were each there for minimum 3 hours. yuck, finals here i come.

gotta love finals.

ugh. i was up by 8, at chiro by 9, class for 10, library since then. i finally came home about 10 minutes ago because i decided to eat something. i imagine i'll be here for less than an hour then i'll head back to the library.

i breathe out, i breathe in.

i spent some time on me this weekend. zoo lights friday then hanging out with number twelve. cuddling all night can be incredible therapy. yesterday i relaxed all day. watched a few movies, took care of me, talked to baby momma next door and went to bed early. today i spent some time at the library then talked to all my family, again to take care of me. it was a nice few days, now back to cracking down tomorrow.

maturity is a rare thing.

i am seriously so over your grade 8 drama. you get all your little friends to delete me off facebook, real mature. like that cuts me really deep. not. it makes me realize how much more mature i am than you and reiterates that getting the f out of rd was the best thing i could do for myself to actually grow up and learn how to move on. you're immaturity doesn't hurt me, or prove your point. it makes me smile, laugh even that you're that petty and immature that you think deleting someone from facebook is like a big deal.
also, it points out how weak you are. being a 'bully' via the computer screen is really easy. having the balls to actually say something real is entirely different. it took everything inside of me to apologize to you, it was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. but there's this thing called courage, and respect. maybe give them a little look up in the dictionary... if your feeble mind can even read. perhaps attempt taking a class or two. you never know how much you might learn and grow as a person. anyways, good luck with your life. i hope you get places and figure out how to grow up a bit.

step up.

no matter how hard it gets,
this  l o v e  will have no regrets.