Wrote last week.. oops

It's funny you know, what a new year does to you. The reflective nature of an end and a beginning. It's silly really because it's simply another day. I despise the idea of, "new year, new me" because it's a facade. It's an attempt to think that one specific day is the day that you can choose to start over when, in reality, you can choose to start over whenever you want. There is no one day where the world gets to decide for you that it's okay to start over. I think if that's the day that someone needs, the push to change something about themselves or their lifestyle, than by all means, utilize the nature of a new year. But you shouldn't force yourself to change because society tells you that today is the day you need to be better.  Maybe you need a week to figure out what it really is that you'd like to improve on this year. Maybe I want an extra week of indulging because 2016 was a stressful fucking year. So what.
Self-reflection is such an important thing in life. It is critical to growth  and development. If you don't reflect on the things you like about yourself and the things you don't like about yourself, then you have no opportunity to see areas to continue to share with others and areas you need to work on. It's okay to know your loveable characteristics and your not-so-loveable characteristics. Neither of those things make you worthy. Everything that you are as an individual is enough. Everything that I AM, is enough. And I think we forget that so often. Especially around the start of a new year; we forget all of the progress we've made as humans over the course of our lives.
In the last year, I have grown soooo much as a human being. And instead of being proud of that as I reflect on the year, I am focused on all the things I'm unhappy with right now. And that's devastating. Last year was hell for me. It was arguably the toughest year of my life. I went through an experience I hope no other human ever has to. I lost two of the most important people in my life and I'm not even really sure why. I fell victim to my own vices. I lost myself.
Luckily, I found a better version of the person I want to be. I became more able to adapt to change. I became more relaxed and able to logically process the amount of stress, worry and negative energy that I was putting in to things that are not important in the grand scheme of life, especially, things that are out of my control.

This post is unfinished but I just don't have the strength or energy to write another word.