Thursday, December 15, 2011

stuck up little bitch.

I also just saw something one of MQ's friends retweeted from MQ and it says, "has anyone else looked at their ex and thought: was I drunk the whole time we were dating?"
Seriously bitch, have you ever looked at your ex and been like he was way too fucking good for me, he must have been drunk the whole time? Because we've all wondered since day one if that was the case. STFU he is better than you'll ever be.

take a ride, to good times.

I seriously had such a good night tonight. Today kinda sucked, I wrote two finals and I don't think either of them went really well, but at least, I'm done. Then I went for wings with TK and DS and the group. And I'm seriously in love with him bahahhaa. Not really but he is so sexy that looking at him for extended periods of time/him looking at me makes me blush.
I am really happy tonight. I felt like I was back like age 12 or 14 just genuinely having fun. We went for wings and then we went and got stuff for gingerbread houses and had a competition: girls versus boys. The boys won unfortunately, but to be fair they set off pyrotechnics with it. hahahahahaa it was fantastic actually. Also, one of the rules is that nerf guns were allowed and that was fantastic, I forgot about them for years. I also ended up with shaving cream in my hair... we started out with whipped cream but we ran out thus, the boys figured shaving cream was a great solution.
We went to a pub after but it was just good genuine fun, you know. It was really nice to just kind of let loose. And like DS just made fun of me all day today about sleeping in his bed and blah blah just beak beak beak. Actually, everyone did. But he thought it was especially funny. It was just a nice night. But I'm exhausted, and I have to get up early so I can hopefully go to the gym then pack and go home. yaaaayyy.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

may be surrounded by a million people I, still feel all alone.

I'm seriously dying right now. I'm so over studying. I'm at that point where I just don't give a fuck. I can't explain it if you've never gone away for school. I mean I can remember in highschool just wanting the time off to do whatever, but it's more than that. I just want to be home for an infinite period of time, or at least, more than 3 days. I want to be done, but more so I want to be home.
I am looking around at all the people sitting around me in the library all just hating this place, wanting to leave and all I can think of is my niece, and my mother, and my sisters and my brother, and my father, and being at home. All I can think about is how wonderful it will be to see my friends, to not feel rushed to see 7 people in 2 days that aren't friends. I can't stop thinking about laying in front of the fireplace looking at the beauty of winter and Christmas and all that it entails.
I am sitting here, staring at my notes and my textbook just wishing it were all over. The fact I could go and write these exams right now and go home is so appealing; but I care. I wish I didn't care about my grades so that I could go write these silly tests and come home, without regret that I could've tried harder. I just want to go home.

only 6 years and 11 months left.

It’s said it takes seven years
to grow completely new skin cells.
To think, this year I will grow
into a body you never will
have touched.

-Brett Elizabeth Jenkins

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

will and kate.

I should totally be studying but instead there is a special on William and Kate which is clearly the universe telling me it's time to take a break. I'm studying on commercials... that's gotta be worth something right?

Monday, December 12, 2011

I have a name.

ARE YOU READY FOR MY RANT???
Alright, I get that you know who I am and we are friends because I dated your little brother for three years. I understand that and I can appreciate that. But him and I have not been together for over a year, almost a year and a half in fact and you STILL introduce me as your little brother's ex-girlfriend EVERY time. It drives me bonkers. Like I am a real person, I have a real name. I don't even talk to your brother anymore but you and I still hang out. Would it kill you to acknowledge me as B, or your friend B or anything other than "This is my little brother or number twelve's ex-girlfriend, B". Why can't you skip out the first part and just say, "this is B". I just don't understand.
And I'd love to say something only I know you will take offense to it as though I don't like being referred to as his ex-girlfriend because I'm ashamed or embarrassed or something but it's not that at all. I just want to have my own name and not have everyone in the world just immediately go "oh this girl is off limits because she is NC's little brother's ex-girlfriend and since they still hang out they must be friends/no hard feelings or possess the possibility to get back together". It seems silly but it'd just be nice to be acknowledged as my own person. It's almost like she doesn't want me to find any other person on earth with the comments she makes. I just do not understand.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

orange county.

bahahahahahahahah so I'm tired tonight. And I figured a solid 12 hours, including a test was a reasonable day of studying. SO I just got home and I came into my room because to be perfectly honest, I'm pretty much ready for bed. I decided I'll turn on some OC because I won't want to actually watch it (think OTH or a great movie haha) so I put it on and it's like really quiet but K is sitting directly outside my door (not in a creepy way, that's just where our kitchen table is) and it is on for seriously less than 2 seconds, like I can't even press the button and he screams, "THE OC REALLY". hahaha and then made fun of me so now guaranteed I'm gonna get beaked for watching the oc. oh well nighty night.

I love chocolate.

So I'm not sure if you remember but the other day I was all disappointed that the lindt advent calendars were all gone at costco. So today, I went again to check because K has been whining about it. They didn't have any... so instead, I just bought a giant box of lindts that we are going to pretend is our advent calendars hahahaha it seems like a fabulous idea if you ask me.
Also, I just took a study break to watch home alone and I now have to study my life away. Well for 2 hours at least. I'd like to get through 1-2 chapters of neuro.

you were only waiting for this moment to be free.

blackbird singing in the dead of night,
take these broken wings and learn to fly.
all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive.

she wants to drive your truck with no place to go.

she wants to feel that fire,
the one that lets her know for sure,
she's everything you want and more.

11 years.

December sucks so much for my family. Both of my grandparents died in December: December2, and December 11. It's always so hard because we had such a great Christmas routine. I honestly loved my grandparents so much. We were really close, we used to go there like every weekend we were with my daddy.
I would get up in the morning so early and have breakfast and play board games with my nana until everyone else woke up. She would have us white bread and fruit punch juice and the cereal and ice cream treats we liked all ready for us and she would often make us some sort of dessert, like jell-o or chocolate pie haha.
My grandpa would play puzzles with us, that was his thing. Or we'd watch Reba McEntire together. When there was hockey games on, the entire family would wath it together. Only we shut off the tv sound and listened to the radio broadcast instead. I'm not really sure why, it was just their thing. We'd always put on performances for them. Nana would take us shopping and then we'd have to have a fashion show when we got home.
Poppa would give us money all the time. Even if it was just for a new barbie. But he always wanted us to have the best of everything and never be wanting. We were so lucky. We'd lay in the hammock in the backyard or walk to the park or IGA. It seems so silly but it was the little things that really mattered.

Love you and miss you every day Nana and Poppa. I cannot believe it's been 11 years since I lost my Nana, but I can assure you I love and miss her every day.

December 11, 2011

Virgo
There is something or someone you deeply hope to believe in. You want to feel free to relax, to enjoy, to trust, and to know that everything will work out. You want to have faith. But faith is free of analysis. It's free of logic. It doesn't rely on what other people tell you or what you learn through the grapevine. Faith is a gift given by- and to- your heart. So stop doubting, Virgo. Reach for the stars, and trust that you will find them sparkling in your hands. And remember that whatever happens, goodness will come of it.



It's so much easier said than done to keep on believing.

we laughed until we cried.

Little of this, Little of that;
kind of happy, kind of sad.

the new girl.

So tonight, K brought a girl here hahahahahahahaha. And they're not actually dating, she's his best friend's little sister so he's very uncertain if he really wants to go here. He has to take into account the fact that he can't just have casual sex with her bahahaha. And I seriously wish I could record some of our conversations about it. Actually our conversations in general are hilarious. BUT tonight, he texted me when he was on his way here and I was already making fun of him so he said, "BE NICE". bahahahhahaa I responded with "I'm always nice".
The best part about it is that I was studying on the couch when they got here and I didn`t move hahaha. And I considered moving to the table and/or my room but me being me I didn't. hahaha I actually just basically came to the conclusion I would receive a go away text message if that was the case. So I kept studying and chatted a bit with them and did my laundry etc. basically acting like she wasn't there only more polite.
Then he took her home hahaha and when he walked in he was like man you were such a good wing tonight. And I was like I know right? Would you expect anything less? And he told me he was afraid because of my stories of being a major cock block bahahaha but I reminded him that I am only a cock block when I don't like the girl. He was also very happy that I was sitting out there, on the couch, and didn't move. He's like I didn't even want to come here hahaha and not in a mean way but in a he's not sure this is the best idea because he's basically going to have to commit hahahahaha.
This whole situation is just so funny for me. And then when he got back he totally amped up the asshole-ness and I was like built it up a bit? Now it's going to be twice as bad? And he's like yep... have a good next day and a half bahaha.