frustrating.

The more I get to know CK the more I don't like him and that's probably not a good thing considering that he's one of my best friend's boyfriends. Like the more I get to know most of my friends boyfriends, the more I like him. I've never been really close with CK though. We weren't friends before he started dating NB.
I really don't like the way he treats NB a lot of the time. And last night he freaked out on me. We were on the way home and I don't know how we got to talking about them but I was like yeah I like R better than K and CK was like are you saying you don't like my sister in law. And I was like no, that's not what I said. I said I like R better than K. I have no issues with K (except for the way she treats NB and the way CK lets her treat NB). Like I just thought it was so ridiculous then he flipped like that is my sister B. And I was just like okay I never said anything bad so chill the fuck out bro.

So tired, can't sleep.

I wish I wasn't an insomniac.

He's not what you and everyone else think.

Oh you're mad at me because you think I was really drunk? Yeah no you're boyfriend is just an asshole.

I don't get it.

Sometimes I get so frustrated. My sister treats me like I'm wasted when I'm sober. And when she acts like that I respect that she's drunk. Like I'm so much more easygoing. I just don't understand.

Feelings so absolute, there's no doubt.

I'm lost in this moment with you, I am completely consumed.

I'm too lame

I don't even know how they party the way I do.

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you.

You gave me the best mix tape I have. And even all the bad songs ain't so bad. I just wish there was so much more than that about me and you.

Everyone knows I'm in over my head.

With 8 seconds left in overtime, she's on your mind, she's on your mind.

Grow up.

Girls my age actually girls in general frustrate me so much. Like I hate that so many people I know need a boy so bad. They feel like they are incomplete or weak or something without men. It's like they are the be all and end all of a girl's life. I don't care about a boy. Don't get me wrong I love number twelve and I always will but I'm okay without him. It took me a long time to realize that but I still got up and at least pretended to the world that does know me that I didn't need him.
I just am so tired of the drama and the petty bullshit.

Turn around and a month's gone by, you realize you haven't cried.

Woke up late today and I still felt the sting of the pain but I brushed my teeth anyway. Got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger. Driving in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt so I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you. I listened to it for a minute, then I changed it. I got a little bit stronger.

Today is never too late to be brand new.

Sometimes I am an idiot girl.

What do we do, we swim.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.