i just miss your face.

I guess I'm hurting because I just want him to care. I want him to be okay to talk and be friends instead of brush me off in an attempt to help me 'get over him'. I told him the other day that I love him and I probably always will but I don't want to be in a relationship right now. And that is the honest to goodness truth. I want to be alone. I want to work on myself and being happy without him. But I don't think that means we have to not talk ever.

just keep swimming.

I breathe in and I breathe out.

mlk. jr.

"if you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. and so today i still have a dream."

attempted description.

every time I think I've convinced my head that maybe someday I'll be okay without him, my heart tells me it's never gonna happen; "keep dreaming sweetheart".

all roads lead me to you.

they'll never ever be another you.
I could search my whole life through,
it's no use.

I'll pretend like it's not killing me.

is it over yet, can I open my eyes?
is this as hard as it gets?

is this what it feels like to really cry?

smearing the ink and the love always.

always.

and I will always think of you as someone I love.

you never get it back.

you say you've turned it off, hid your heart up on a shelf.
scared of what it might cost to take it down for someone else;
'cause loving him you lost too much of yourself.

even when we're miles apart, you're still holding all of my heart.

I know it's terrible. But sometimes I wish that something terrible would happen to me, just to see who would care.

don't forget to remember me.

I’m scared because…


I don’t want anyone else to have your heart.
I don’t want anyone else to kiss your lips.
I don’t want anyone else to be in your arms.
I don’t want anyone else to be the one you love.
I’m scared because I don’t want anyone else to take my place.

someday we'll know.

you may be out of sight, but you are never out of my mind.

the only one.

I really wish you would just swallow your damn pride for once and admit that you really do miss me.

his thoughts, I'm sure.

"It's confusing when the one person who made you stop believing in love, is trying to make you believe in it again."

strawberrytelle.

all I want is someone who will stay with me no matter how hard it is to be with me.

I swear I'm not crying.

There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you. You memorized their laugh, their smile, and their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you and you don’t want to let go even though you know it’s just an illusion. Everytime your phone rings, you smile because it’s them that’s calling. Everytime you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can’t even breathe. You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry. All you want is to go back in time. Not to the time that you first met, to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you’re in denial. You hide your feelings so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don’t let a single tear break through. You’re so used to hiding your feelings that you don’t even realize the pain you’re causing for yourself. Your thoughts become invisible. It’s still there, but no one knows. Like a love letter you didn’t show.
And you’re hurting no one but yourself.

story of my whole damn life.

"sometimes people decide to just be friends, even if their feelings are mutual. not because love is hard to sustain, but because commitment complicates everything."

hold onto it tight.

if every love failed except one,
I can assure you that one would be ours.

maybe someday we'll have the same last name.

I just want to talk to you for hours about nothing.

lemony snicket.

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."

you know it's over, before it begins.

I was fine before you walked into my life.

empty.

i'm here and now i matter.

you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time,
what are you hoping for?

the seventh thing I like the most that you do.

you make me love you.

the seventh thing I hate the most that you do

you make me love you.

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I'm soooo exhausted. I'm achy and tired and sore and grumpy and sad. And in a terrible mood. It's like the Robert Munsch book, "I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!" haha well it's not that bad but I am grumpy and tired and do not want to write this essay. Even my momma was like you sound awful. I'm now having some sugar-filled juice to perk me up. Wish me luck.

you just are.

how was I supposed to know,
she was slowly letting go.
if I was putting her through hell,
hell I couldn't tell.
she could've given me a sign,
opened up my eyes.
how was I supposed to see,
she never cried in front of me.

blah blah self-pity.

I'm just so damn grumpy. Even endorphins aren't cheering me up today.

connect two.

I am very sad today. I am really missing number twelve. So many people asked about him last night. KS and I talked about him for a long time and I just really freaking miss the kid. Ugh. I just want to spend the whole day laying in bed talking. I honestly mean talking. I just feel so disconnected from him. I want to know how he is, what`s new, how life`s treating him. I know it sounds stupid but I just miss being a part of his life and having him a part of mine. I just want him to be here studying and talking and sitting beside me.
That`s the perfect word to describe how I`m feeling; disconnected.