I swear I'm not crying.

There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head. And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you. You memorized their laugh, their smile, and their silly ways. You can also feel their arms around you and you don’t want to let go even though you know it’s just an illusion. Everytime your phone rings, you smile because it’s them that’s calling. Everytime you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can’t even breathe. You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh, but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry. All you want is to go back in time. Not to the time that you first met, to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers. But no matter what, you’re in denial. You hide your feelings so no one would know. You put on a fake smile and don’t let a single tear break through. You’re so used to hiding your feelings that you don’t even realize the pain you’re causing for yourself. Your thoughts become invisible. It’s still there, but no one knows. Like a love letter you didn’t show.
And you’re hurting no one but yourself.