Remind yourself.

It's my life.

The last post probably seems incredibly shallow and to a degree it is. Of course I like a muscular man who's strong and can pick me up on a whim. However, the reason someone who works out is important to me is because going to the gym and working out is a lifestyle. It goes with eating well and taking care of your body. Obviously that photo is a not extreme but I want to be with someone who cares about their body and their health. I am a much happier person when I go I the gym. I feel better, I sleep better, I'm less stressed out and I'm more confident. All of these things matter to me. And not all but most people who don't live that kind of lifestyle don't understand that I'm inclined to get up early on Saturday so I can go to the gym. I am probably not going to eat garbage all week because it doesn't make my body feel good or give me the nutrition I need. Most people who don't live that lifestyle can't understand that I won't be one until 7pm when I left at 7am because it's imperative I go to the gym before I go home. Most people don't understand that I don't want to booze hard all the time because it's counterproductive. Or I might not meet you for coffee or a drink or lunch because I haven't gone to the gym yet and I need to. 

Granted there are some people who do understand the type of commitment that this lifestyle entails and if I find a man that makes me happy and treats me well and understands my love for the gym then yeah maybe it could work. But until I find price charming I am going to be checking out every single dude at the gym eeSt single day. 

P.S. In Calgary the gym is HOT DUDE CENTRAL. 

But actually do you lift bro?

Brilliant.

I'm reading The Giver again. I start teaching it. I forgot just how much I love this book. 

I just don't know.

I think sometimes you reach this point in life where you just don't really know anymore. I feel like I don't know anything at this point. I'm not where I thought I'd be at 22. I'm not sure how the next few months are going to go. 

I want you to be strong for me.

HP and CR got engaged. I'm happy for HP because this is what she's wanted for a very long time. She seems much happier in this relationship than she did when she was with BN. 

Despite my happiness for them, I hate when people my age get engaged. I hate the notion that someone has found someone that they want to spend their entire life with. They are okay to commit fully to someone. It just makes me feel behind. I know that I'm not and getting married at 22 is the right time for some people. You know when you're in junior high and high school, being married at 21, 22, 23 seems reasonable. And then you are 18 finishing high school with a boy you love and you can see being ready to marry him in 3 or 4 years. And then you're 21 or 22 and you are unsure of how you got here so fast; you're not ready to be married. And I think about how alone I am. Not that I need to get married right now but when you don't even have a prospective relationship in sight it's frustrating. You see how happy people can be in a partnership and it's something to be desired. 

At the end of the day all of the most successful people in life always talk about love being the most important thing. It's a driving and connecting force in our lives. 

And I'm strong, I know that I will be just fine and one day I will figure it out. Sometimes I just don't want to be the strong one. I want someone to be strong for me.