I got a job today. I applied awhile ago and he ended up calling me today. It's at a place that sells wine and spirits but it's also got like wine accessories and trinkets etc. It's really cute actually. I'm pretty excited because it will give me a little something to do other than school which is what I need.
Most of my friends party really hard and I just don't enjoy that. I like going out every now and again but I'm content to stay home and study most of the time. I mean tonight I went next door and had 'fat friday' with a bunch of girls but they were drinking and watching scary movies and I came home to study for my midterm tomorrow. I guess for me it's just not important to get wasted. I don't like ingesting a bunch of empty calories three or four days a week, I don't like spending money on alcohol, cabs or the bar. I don't enjoy that scene, I don't like feeling like shit for the next three days and I don't like the bad things that happen to good people when alcohol is involved. To me, it just seems silly to spend so much time doing something so stupid. I can have fun without alcohol. Sure, I like to party now and again, when I go home or for a special occasion but I don't understand going out wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday. I just can't wrap my head around the concept of why that would be fun.
Oh well, I guess whatever floats your boat.
Friday, October 21, 2011
grow up.
Faackkk MQ is a bitch. I hope she isn't at DK's next weekend. I know it's highly unlikely because that' sher boyfriend (I think) haha but I just hope she can't make it cause she has a volleyball party or something. She is so rude. Like HJR has done nothing, she's turned DK down before MQ was even in the picture but she doesn't want him texting her. I bet if you were secure then you wouldn't be so worried about it. Maybe trust your boyfriend since he's a good guy and YOU are the one that cheated on him.
You seriously have known HJR like your whole life. 1) She wouldn't do that, she's not that kind of girl. 2) You can't even say hello to her at a party? Give me a fucking break. Pull the stick out of your ass, turn your nose down just a bit and give your head a shake.
I just don't understand how some people are so stuck up. Like seriously, as much as I'd love to be as rich as her sometimes, I don't want to if it means I'd be that type of person. Now I know some people who are very down to earth and you wouldn't know that they have the money they do, but for her, it's like a way to show off. It's a way to tell people she's better than them and I just never want that in my life.
You seriously have known HJR like your whole life. 1) She wouldn't do that, she's not that kind of girl. 2) You can't even say hello to her at a party? Give me a fucking break. Pull the stick out of your ass, turn your nose down just a bit and give your head a shake.
I just don't understand how some people are so stuck up. Like seriously, as much as I'd love to be as rich as her sometimes, I don't want to if it means I'd be that type of person. Now I know some people who are very down to earth and you wouldn't know that they have the money they do, but for her, it's like a way to show off. It's a way to tell people she's better than them and I just never want that in my life.
homesick... or family sick?
So I had a long day but I think I got everything sorted out for that project so I feel a bit better about that. Also daddy came here and filled my fridge, freezer and cupboard with groceries which was so nice!! He also brought me my gst cheque and he also left me gas money. And we went for supper.
I seriously think people underestimate how much I love my parents. They are such good parents like they are supportive of me and encouraging but they also do such nice things for me like my daddy did tonight. Like I have so much food it's so nice because because a student is expensive. Living away from home is expensive and it's hard sometimes. I mean I eat home a lot, most of the time actually. I have lunch at school usually once or twice a week but I come home for lunch mondays and wednesdays before I go to the university and I usually eat right before school and bring healthy snacks so I try to be reasonable. My biggest splurge is coffee but at the university I have my meal card for tim's so that's all I really use.
I guess I'm just saying that I really appreciate all that my parents do for me. I really love my family, more than most people. I talk to my mom lots on the phone and I guess I'm pretty homesick. I mostly just really miss my parents and family because they are such an integral part of my life.
I seriously think people underestimate how much I love my parents. They are such good parents like they are supportive of me and encouraging but they also do such nice things for me like my daddy did tonight. Like I have so much food it's so nice because because a student is expensive. Living away from home is expensive and it's hard sometimes. I mean I eat home a lot, most of the time actually. I have lunch at school usually once or twice a week but I come home for lunch mondays and wednesdays before I go to the university and I usually eat right before school and bring healthy snacks so I try to be reasonable. My biggest splurge is coffee but at the university I have my meal card for tim's so that's all I really use.
I guess I'm just saying that I really appreciate all that my parents do for me. I really love my family, more than most people. I talk to my mom lots on the phone and I guess I'm pretty homesick. I mostly just really miss my parents and family because they are such an integral part of my life.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
will you let me drown?
hey now, this is my desire.
consume me like a fire,
'cause I just want something beautiful to touch me.
I know that I'm in reach,
'cause I am down on my knees, waiting for
something beautiful.
consume me like a fire,
'cause I just want something beautiful to touch me.
I know that I'm in reach,
'cause I am down on my knees, waiting for
something beautiful.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
it's always going to be there, isn't it?
and just once I'd like to get through a day where my mind doesn't turn to him a single time.
stress.
I had such a shitty day today. Well, kinda. This morning I had my practicum at a high school and it was alright except we observed a dance class. Well, no offence but I don't want to teach dance. I took dance for years and taught when I did. And your teaching methods and classroom management is entirely different in an option versus a core academic class. Not sweet.
Then last night I sent out that project of readings for my class and today my prof emails me saying that if that is our project we are going to get an F. Now my reaction to this was WHAT THE FUCK. I was under the impression that we had permission to use these articles for our project (re: a girl in my group straight up told me she asked our prof if it was okay and she said yes). I don't have time to redo the project. So me being me I email my prof back telling her I will deal with the situation immediately and hussel my ass to school and b-line for her office. Luckily, she was there and we discussed where I wanted to go with these articles and that it was an entirely different direction and that I'd actually put a fair bit of thought into it and I'm thoroughly and genuinely interested in it which is why I chose it as a discussion topic.
We cleared things up a bit and she gave me another book to look at as a source and recommended a few things to tweak our project to make it much better so I'm a little bit less stressed but now I know our presentation has to be absolutely incredible. Fuck. I hate group projects. They are such bullshit because people like me who get good grades and are control freaks end up doing the whole thing and shitheads tag along and ride on my grade or attempt to pull it down.
Then last night I sent out that project of readings for my class and today my prof emails me saying that if that is our project we are going to get an F. Now my reaction to this was WHAT THE FUCK. I was under the impression that we had permission to use these articles for our project (re: a girl in my group straight up told me she asked our prof if it was okay and she said yes). I don't have time to redo the project. So me being me I email my prof back telling her I will deal with the situation immediately and hussel my ass to school and b-line for her office. Luckily, she was there and we discussed where I wanted to go with these articles and that it was an entirely different direction and that I'd actually put a fair bit of thought into it and I'm thoroughly and genuinely interested in it which is why I chose it as a discussion topic.
We cleared things up a bit and she gave me another book to look at as a source and recommended a few things to tweak our project to make it much better so I'm a little bit less stressed but now I know our presentation has to be absolutely incredible. Fuck. I hate group projects. They are such bullshit because people like me who get good grades and are control freaks end up doing the whole thing and shitheads tag along and ride on my grade or attempt to pull it down.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
halloween.
Generally I don't like halloween all that much. Yes I love candy but I hate dressing up for halloween. Invite me to a themed party any other day of the year and I'm like heelllll yeah. But I hate halloween. And mostly I hate it because once you pass the age of trick-or-treating, halloween is just another holiday to objectify women. And I don't know if it's because I'm self conscious or because I'm not a slut or what but I just hate the concept of dressing up in lingerie with animal ears. If I want to wear lingerie, I'll wear it for the boy I'm dating (hypothetical, unfortunately). And I have never dressed as a slut for halloween, ever. Like last year, I was a baker hahahahahaha I know clever right... still cracks me up.
This year, S and I are going to DK's halloween party. And I'm seriously so excited after chatting with S about what to be. She text me like soooo I wanna go but I don't wanna go with, ahem actual sluts hahaha. Just pretend ones aka you. bahahahahahahaha I laughed out loud in the library. Then we discussed costume ideas and I laughed so hard because we both had the same idea which is hilarious.
To top off how hilarious we are, we're going to be puck bunnies. Thus, we are going to dress up in uggs, jean skirts, leggings, jerseys and bunny ears. bahahahahahahah we are so funny. It is funny because neither of us are een remotely slutty or close to sluts. hahahaha
This year, S and I are going to DK's halloween party. And I'm seriously so excited after chatting with S about what to be. She text me like soooo I wanna go but I don't wanna go with, ahem actual sluts hahaha. Just pretend ones aka you. bahahahahahahaha I laughed out loud in the library. Then we discussed costume ideas and I laughed so hard because we both had the same idea which is hilarious.
To top off how hilarious we are, we're going to be puck bunnies. Thus, we are going to dress up in uggs, jean skirts, leggings, jerseys and bunny ears. bahahahahahahah we are so funny. It is funny because neither of us are een remotely slutty or close to sluts. hahahaha
be yourself.
Do you really think that people can change?
I'm torn about how I feel about this. I mean I think we can grow and we get better and we change a little bit. We change our some of our interests and hobbies and our friends, etc. But do we really change? I don't know. I guess I just feel like there are things about us that change as we get older and we mature. I think we learn to be more open-minded. We forget how to unconsciously appreciate the little things and we have to consciously remind ourselves to take things less seriously; it's only life. I have watched myself become a better person. I've watched myself learn about myself and understand who I am and who I want to be. I've developed an understanding of what I want in life, and especially what I don't want.
Every day we choose to move on. To get up, to take a step forward and simply rise above the pain of the past. We choose to fight back, to push through every obstacle we're faced with carrying the pain and hurt of all the days before that one, and become the person we want to be.
At the same time, we face things with courage or fear or whatever, we do it the same. I have seen so many people remain complacent for such an extended period of time it's painful. yet I've seen people metamorphis into a completely different person. So what gives?
For some reason, I'm pretty stuck on the idea that at the end of the day, we are who we are and it's probably who we've always been.
I guess that's where the question of being yourself comes in. And in this day and age I wonder if anyone even knows how to do that. I mean what does it even mean to be yourself?
I'm torn about how I feel about this. I mean I think we can grow and we get better and we change a little bit. We change our some of our interests and hobbies and our friends, etc. But do we really change? I don't know. I guess I just feel like there are things about us that change as we get older and we mature. I think we learn to be more open-minded. We forget how to unconsciously appreciate the little things and we have to consciously remind ourselves to take things less seriously; it's only life. I have watched myself become a better person. I've watched myself learn about myself and understand who I am and who I want to be. I've developed an understanding of what I want in life, and especially what I don't want.
Every day we choose to move on. To get up, to take a step forward and simply rise above the pain of the past. We choose to fight back, to push through every obstacle we're faced with carrying the pain and hurt of all the days before that one, and become the person we want to be.
At the same time, we face things with courage or fear or whatever, we do it the same. I have seen so many people remain complacent for such an extended period of time it's painful. yet I've seen people metamorphis into a completely different person. So what gives?
For some reason, I'm pretty stuck on the idea that at the end of the day, we are who we are and it's probably who we've always been.
I guess that's where the question of being yourself comes in. And in this day and age I wonder if anyone even knows how to do that. I mean what does it even mean to be yourself?
Monday, October 17, 2011
long day.
My head is in such a weird space today. I spent the morning in my practicum and then I came home and had lunch and did some prep for tutoring only it was completely useless. This is going to be a hell of a venture I can already tell. I mean the extra money will help without a doubt but it still sucks. It's going to take time away from my studying which means I need to be extra productive on the weekends.
I went to tutoring and she is a nice girl, bright, but needs some structure. She needs to have her homework laid out for me so I can actually help her and I reaaalllyyy need to brush up on my grade 7 math, social studies, and science. I'm not overly worried about social but I'm a bit worried about science and math.
Afterwards I spent almost three hours studying neuro and I still don't feel great about it. I'm feeling pretty good about it but I have my alarm set so I can get up and review some more tomorrow. I would like to go to the chiropractor if I have enough time too. And then I can start studying philosophy tomorrow and Wednesday I don't have school until 9:50 or something of that nature so hopefully I can sleep in until 8 or so and get some work done in the morning hopefully.
Anyways I'm watching Gilmore Girls and hitting the hay because the morning will come early. Nighty-night.
I went to tutoring and she is a nice girl, bright, but needs some structure. She needs to have her homework laid out for me so I can actually help her and I reaaalllyyy need to brush up on my grade 7 math, social studies, and science. I'm not overly worried about social but I'm a bit worried about science and math.
Afterwards I spent almost three hours studying neuro and I still don't feel great about it. I'm feeling pretty good about it but I have my alarm set so I can get up and review some more tomorrow. I would like to go to the chiropractor if I have enough time too. And then I can start studying philosophy tomorrow and Wednesday I don't have school until 9:50 or something of that nature so hopefully I can sleep in until 8 or so and get some work done in the morning hopefully.
Anyways I'm watching Gilmore Girls and hitting the hay because the morning will come early. Nighty-night.
yeah, I'm topping my nerdyness.
I start tutoring today. I'm pretty nervous. It's only grade 7 english and math so it shouldn't be too bad but hopefully there's nothing I can't answer. I will see I guess. Gage where she's at. I think her mom wants a postive role model in her daughter's life; at least that's what she told me. Sometimes you just need someone to help you focus and teach you study habits. I'm interested to see how it goes. I'll let you know when I get back.
Mostly I'm tutoring because it is pretty flexible and because I make pretty good money for a short number of hours a week. She wants Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday for an hour and a half. That's four and a half hours a week which is a reasonable amount of time to give up(less than one shift anywhere else) to make a little extra money. Plus I'm sure the experience will help.
Mostly I'm tutoring because it is pretty flexible and because I make pretty good money for a short number of hours a week. She wants Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday for an hour and a half. That's four and a half hours a week which is a reasonable amount of time to give up(less than one shift anywhere else) to make a little extra money. Plus I'm sure the experience will help.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
exhausted.
I'm in a funny mood tonight. I think I'm gonna go eat an apple peanut butter then review my neuroscience notes and go to bed. I have my practicum at 8am so I need to get to sleep at a reasonable time. Maybe once I'm in bed I'll turn on A Cinderella Story again until I fall asleep. (I suck at watching movies, I always fall asleep. Worst is with number twelve).
I was however pretty productive today. I finished all my neuro readings and studied after that. Then I had a group project for history and we figured a bunch of stuff out. When I got home I scanned all of our history readings and read a huge article that we're going to use. Then I finished all of my Ed homework as well. I at least feel decent about what I accomplished today.
I was however pretty productive today. I finished all my neuro readings and studied after that. Then I had a group project for history and we figured a bunch of stuff out. When I got home I scanned all of our history readings and read a huge article that we're going to use. Then I finished all of my Ed homework as well. I at least feel decent about what I accomplished today.
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