Speechless.

I don't think my sister has said something to build me up in years. I'm speechless that she said I work hard.

Every time.

He is honestly the best person I know. He will do anything I ask of him and it drives me crazy. Today I asked if he could do me a favour potentially. He said, "shoot". So I said to my sister he's gonna be like fuck you're soooo annoying what do you want now! And she's like no he will do whatever you want. So I asked him and he's like yep sure, but is it a hot tub? Hahah he's a brat for the comments that followed. I think it's just more I appreciate how he will honestly do anything for me. I just want to know sometimes why, why is he so nice to me. Why is he so nice but doesn't pursue anything?  What is he afraid of? What can I do to change his mind?

Valentine's Day.

He's like sunshine. Everything's better when he's around.

J.R.R. Tolkien

"Do you remember when we first met?"
"I thought I had wandered into a dream."

Accomplishment.

Soooo I may or may not have slept with BR last night. It was kind of funny because he brought me a bottle of water and then he came and lied beside me and we were just talking and petting his dog Diesel. He offered me a shirt and stuff but I had a tank top on so I just took off my Banana Republic shirt.
We were talking about honestly the most ridiculous things and I high-fived him for some of the slutty stories he was telling me. But then somehow we started arguing about my boobs and he's like well they're nice but they're not a D no way. And he literally just started feeling me up and was like nah they aren't and I think he realized like uhh oh fuck what did I just do because he apologized and was like thanks for not hitting me. I just laughed because really what was I going to do at 3am in his bed.
So then we started talking about how his pecks are bigger but mine are nicer hahaha. And he said but your ass is waaaay nicer like you definitely have that going for you over big boobs. And I'm like thanks?
It was just kind of nice to have him speak about me like in what he thought were my best assets and actually verbalize that. B is an attractive man and he can basically have any girl he wants so it felt nice to be wanted by someone like that. I have wanted to hook up with him since the day I met him so it really feels like more of an accomplishment than anything else.

That kind of concern; that kind of love.

So I didn't answer him quickly enough/ I think he just really needed to talk. He said I didn't want you to take this the wrong way. He was concerned I thought he was being offensive. I didn't. I knew he was just saying like hopefully it doesn't fuck you that we're closing for who knows how long because I don't need to feel even worse about the situation. 

I feel so bad for him. He is so incredibly stressed. He knows tomorrow that girls are going to ask him questions he cannot answer and that is without a doubt the hardest part. He just told me all the things he is worried about and the lack of definitive answers he has. 

I guess he's been told between 2 weeks and 3 months. That's a pretty big gap. He said no fucking way are we closing for 3 months! I said to him I'm really sorry because this situation just sucks. And I know there's nothing I can say or do to make it better. That's what's most difficult for me right now; I feel helpless. I said to him that's why I texted you earlier, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. 

He's like I know and I don't mind talking to you about it because I know you aren't going to tell any of those bitches. I'm like oh no I haven't talked to any of them. I want no involvement in any of that conversation. I fully intend to sit in silence tomorrow and probably text him and roll my eyes at stupid girls comments.
We basically listed girls who will cause him grief tomorrow. I hope it's okay for him. I think that would be such a terrible part about owning a business and I feel bad for him because he hates speaking in front of people etc. 

I feel a little bit happy though. I'm happy he's relying on me. I am happy that he trusts me enough to confide in me. I'm happy that he chose to call me. After everything that I went through this summer, everything I put him through this summer and all the horrible days he dealt with me just being there, I am very happy to be here for him. I have been praying for him to rely on me like I relied on him; for him to let me in. And finally, he is. 

Poor guy.

My heart breaks a little more for him with every text.

My heart hurts for him.

His heart is broken and I can only imagine. I mean putting so much into it and it's been less than a year and having to deal with this. So much hard work and having to redo it. I am trying to think of something I can do for him this week to just make his heart hurt less.

For you, anything.

So the last few days have been absolute chaos! Friday night at 2am I got a phone call from my sister saying her boyfriend is in jail for an impaired and possible drug possession charges. THANK GOODNESS it's not possession charges.
The next morning I get a call from CG saying that we had a small flood so I didn't work Saturday night because we were going to be closed. I was like okay so I can go home and see my sister. So then I go to get a coffee and stopped at work and it was actually crazy like the whole dining room was destroyed. When J saw me he's like what are all of you doing here just showed up for your shift now you're standing around to take pictures?
Later he texted me apologizing because he was so grumpy and he had such a bad day. I was like understandably so, you are entitled to be short and in a bad mood.
So he's probably had the most stressful weekend in awhile.
So today I went to Glenn's for breakfast and I bought him tea and just dropped it off and the previous posts are his response. I think what I loved the most is that I had a chance to do something that took very little of me but meant a lot for him!
I finally felt like I could do something back for him.

Glenn and Cindy.

Reciprocation

Today was a really nice feeling.