if I could be like that.

She spent her days just being too young,
to live the life that's in her dreams.
At night she lies awake and she wonders,
why can't that be me?

I said, it hurts to love you.

Christina: Do you love me anymore?
Owen: I love you so much that it hurts.

dixie.

"I love that you want to see the best in people. But please be careful because sometimes seeing the best just means not seeing the truth."

derek morgan.

Someone once said, "Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to".

I want you.

I wanna know what love is,
I want you to show me.

wine gums.

"OMG there's wine gums over there."
bahahahahahahahahahaha I just died a little inside S.

support.

I'm in the library and I legitimately have zero focusing power at alllll. I'm not sure where my head's at. I think I need to go to the gym. I'm just so unsettled about things that don't even have anything to do with me. I worry so much about my friends and today I just kind of got taken aback.
C is trying so hard to be strong and not show he's hurting. But he is. I think today he just couldn't be alone. He's still here with TK and I and we're all just studying away. He doesn't know too many people here, except douchebag hockey players.
This whole situation is hard because I really want S to be happy. And I've seen how unhappy she is for a long time struggling with distance and being 20 in a relationship for so long. I think it's hard because when you love someone, you want to be with them. But you want to be happy and fulfilled and at 20 years old it's hard to be alone and far away when you desire the physical presence of the one you love.
I don't know their relationship, S has come a long way that's for sure. C is a nice guy, at least, to me he is. And I've only really gotten to know him in the last few months but he's good to study with. Relationships are just so hard because the only people who really know a relationship are the ones involved.

if you told me to.

Hunter Hayes has beautiful songs. He's my new obsession. I don't even know if he writes them but they are beautiful.

one part angel, one part perfect, one part brick.

she's a beautiful mess. 

oh life.

I just got invited to the library by C. We are sitting chatting and both completely avoiding talking about S. I hope everything is okay with them. I don't really know the status of things and I do not want to ask. I have lots to study and he has a test so hopefully it's all good hahaha. Relationships are so fucked haha. Life is soo funny and entertaining. Ah I have to study now.

hunter hayes.

I'd love to know just what you're thinkin'
Every little river, run through your mind
You give and you take, you come and you go
You leave me here wondering if I'll ever know
How much you care, or how much you don't
Whatever you need, whatever you want
If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak,
If you're gonna be somebody's mistake,
If you're gonna be somebody's first time, 
Somebody's last time, 
Baby be mine
If you're lookin' to be somebody's just friends,
A little laughin', a little lovin', never callin' again,
That's just fine
If you're gonna be somebody's heartbreak,
Be mine. 

10+2

I'm in a funny space lately. I've been thinking an awful lot about number twelve. I love him, I mean it's natural to think about him. But I think what I want most is for us to have a closer relationship again. Not in the dating/physical/sexual way. I just miss my best friend.
But then I think to myself that that may be more destructive than anything because I know how my heart and my stomach react when I speak to him.

fraudulent.

I'd like to loose about 10 lbs. or 2 inches. I am really just wanting to loose my mid section. My legs are getting bigger which I'm not overly happy about. But to be fair they are almost entirely muscle. I have become more muscular but I'm not happy with where I'm at. I don't know I guess I will probably never be happy with my size. Even when I was anorexic I wasn't happy with my size.
I'm not a tiny girl. I'll never be tiny. I never have been. I'm tall. I'm between 5'8'' and 5'9''. And I'm not a skinny girl by any means. And even when other people tell me I've lost weight, I don't ever feel skinny. I don't ever feel confident enough to wear clothes that show my size. I don't know. I see so many other girls that aren't tiny and I think they're absolutely gorgeous, but I don't think that when I see myself.
I wish I were more confident. I wish I was more comfortable with who I am and how I look. I'd never let anyone know that I'm not. I am a complete bitch. I'm cocky and arrogant and in many cases, I act like I'm better than other people. But I'm not and I don't think that I am. I am a fraud. I am more insecure than most people.

and I do believe a song can heal me.

My momma got me tickets to Lady Antebellum on Saturday and I'm actually really excited. I love their music. I've posted about music and lyrics people before. I'm definitely a lyrics person. The first thing I do is listen to lyrics and often look them up and read through. I think words can change everything.

small towns and big dreams.

that's where I come from,
that's who I am.
hard working and God Bless, Yes Sir, Thank You Mam

the best things around that I have ever seen,
came from small towns and big dreams.

if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie.

I love number twelve and I wish I didn't.

party like a millionaire.

I had a party(small gathering) last night. It was pretty awesome if I do say so myself.