Preach.

Momma.

One of my mom's friends gave her this card for Easter. And honestly, when I read it I couldn't have thought of anyone in my life who this rings more true about. My mom is the best person I know. Her goodness is unmatched. The way she treats others is inspiring. She loves unconditionally in a way that hurts her often but she carries that pain with grace.  She fights over and over again. She overcomes challenge after hardship after challenge and emanates fortitude. I don't love everything she's done in her life but she spends every day working on improving herself as an individual. And every day she builds up others. Her friends, her family, her students, any human being she comes across, she betters. She breathes kindness into every situation. She reminds me not to judge and to remember that we have absolutely no idea what battle someone else has fought, is fighting, or will fight so be kind. It's your journey so focus on what you can do to make the world a better place. She has no idea what sort of impact she is leaving on the world and to me, that's pretty inspiring.

Love.

My heart stopped beating this morning. I was absolutely terrified. 

I was at work and it was so weird J wasn't there yet but I just assumed he had a meeting or something. He's been sick so at first we were like maybe he slept in. And then T was like okay now it's getting way too late. It's weird he hasn't answered. This isn't like him. And C was like maybe he's just sleeping and his phone is off but it was ringing. So T called him a few times and C did and still nothing. T was like B, do you have keys to his house?!  

Finally, we got ahold of him but I honestly was at the point where I was ready to have a panick attack. I couldn't leave to go see if he was okay. I was just stuck worried beyond belief. All these horrible thoughts were rushing through my head. I mean last week when he was in China we talked quite a bit. It's not like him not to respond. 

I drunkenly told him I love him the other day and a part of me was thinking I'm so grateful I said it, but please don't let anything happen to him. I was really mad at myself about it at first but at the end of the day I'm really not. He should know. I think he does but other times I don't know if he does. He's been so good to me lately. Honestly, checking on me and supportive and reminding me not to be too hard on myself. 

Tonight he said, I think you've lost weight. I was like nope definitely not. I feel like a whale, I've gained weight for sure. And he was like well it doesn't look like it, especially your legs. I was like haha it's my jeans. He's like maybe.. Cranks his entire neck around blatantly staring at my ass and legs. I just appreciate his effort to build me up because he knows I need it.