someone.

I don't think I explained the whole ZG situation fully. Basically the reason she got mad is that I stayed at DK's the other night and that I often go home with him to his house instead of her to her house. And to be perfectly honest, most of the time it's just the way the night goes hahaha. This sounds so slutty but who wouldn't go home with DK over ZG. I mean really, I'd rather sleep in his bed with him half-naked (OMG S, I know you already know but the kid is a smokeshow in boxers! hahahaahaha I seriously die when he strips down) than her naked. It weirds me out that she sleeps naked when I'm there. I don't like it at all and the last few times I've stayed at her house, I've slept on the couch and I think she actually gets really insulted.
So last week I stayed at her house on the couch but we hot-tubbed before and kind of talked about the whole DK situation and how a lot of people are talking, at least to me, about him and I and us hooking up etc. And I told her that I love DK but I'm genuinely worried that that would fuck so much stuff up. I have so much fun with him, but we drive each other crazy. I don't think we've ever had a night where we don't fight haha not in a mean way but in an old married couple arguing for the sake of arguing way. And I like DK, I'm not willing to lose him as a friend, and even more, I love PD and I would never ever want to risk that friendship. And for some reason, he's really uncomfortable with DK and I. Like when he found out I slept in DK's bed, he got mad. He's always like well where was I?!!! One time he physically carried me out of DK's bed because he didn't want us to sleep together. And when I say sleep, I really mean sleep.
ZG is protective and I get that but it bothers me that she thinks I'd just sleep with DK. She's like well you talk about not ruining the friendship blah blah then go home from the bar with him. Haha if I had a dollar for every time I left the bar with him, I'd probably have 100 dollars ( I'm literally laughing at my own little joke). But we've never even kissed so I really don't understand why it's such a big deal. Him and I have woken up and been like this isn't awkward because we're buds, end of story.
I'll admit that the other night I woke up in the middle of the night and he had his arm around me and that's never happened before, at least to my knowledge, and I liked it. But I think what I liked more than anything was having a boy hold me in his arms, more than the fact DK had me in his arms. I miss just having someone sleep beside me. And when I say someone, I mean a boy because we all know it's a different feeling. It probably sounds so stupid, but I really treasure the security I feel around DK. I mean like I get scared to be alone at night sometimes, like when K is gone because we have no alarm. But at DK's house, they don't even lock the door and it doesn't even phase me. I somehow feel safe, because a boy that's strong is beside me. And I used to always tell number twelve that he made me feel safe, and that's totally what it is. I just miss having someone physically there so I feel safe. I sleep so well at his house (in part because his bed is incredibly comfortable) and in part because I know there's someone beside me. And I think he's the same way. He really doesn't like being alone, and he's nice, which is why I stay in his bed not on the couch. It's not awkward, it's just sleeping and having someone next to you.
I love DK, but I'm not in love with him. And there's a big difference.