the three words that made me whole and shattered me.

i know how ridiculous i sound. i really do. i always told girls that he's just a boy. but most people don't see a future and fall in love with someone at 16. that's what i did. we were 16 years old when i saw that boy in my future. and i never told anybody that because i didn't want to admit it. i thought it was the 'love' that people talk about when they date for 2 months. and to me, that's not love. i was afraid that i would just be one of those girls. i never wanted us to be the couple that said i love you and broke up a month later. that's just not who i am. i never wanted to tell someone i was in love with him until i was really sure i was. so i didn't. i waited two and a half years to tell the boy that i loved that since the day i met him that i loved him. and he knew i meant it. he was almost in tears because he knew that it took everything i had to say those words out loud. and now he's gone.