and i know that 30 seconds in his arms would make it all okay.

i'm trying so hard to pretend i'm strong. to pretend like i'm doing okay. like i don't miss him every minute of every single day. i'm trying to convince myself that someday i'll be okay without him. that one day i will wake up and my heart won't hurt anymore. i'm trying to convince myself that this isn't destroying me. that i don't want to curl up into a little ball and die. i'm trying so hard to put all my effort into school and my health just to keep myself from thinking about how badly i want to give up. i am just so damn broken. i don't honestly know what to do. i'm just trying to convince myself that i'm strong enough to be alone. i just miss him so much. i don't understand. i love him so much, every single part of me loves every single part of him. and i don't honestly believe that i'm ever going to be okay again.