letters to my immortal beloved.

I wrote number twelve a letter tonight. I haven't in awhile. I've been avoiding it because they make me sad. Mostly because they make me face my issues and really express everything I have to say. I pour my heart and soul into them. I don't even know if I'm ever going to let him read them. I just feel lighter somehow after. I mean I usually cry while I'm writing them. I'm sure some of them are so smudged from tears they're barely legible. I write love letters to a boy. How lame am I? Like what is this, some kind of seventeenth century lack of technology romance. Or perhaps some ridiculous love story in a movie that's unrealistic. They make me feel better I guess, because I've always been so afraid to express how I really feel about him. To really say how much I love him and how much he's hurt me too. I guess it's a way for me to just let it go.