mind fuck?

SO I'll finally tell you about the psychic/energist/medium I went to on Friday. I know that's a hell of a combination but the best way I can explain it is that she talks about your future and works through issues based on your energies. And as much as I am skeptical, there are some things she just would not know, she couldn't. Last time I went to her, she basically spent the entire time talking about my family and how I devote my  entire life to everyone else. This time was very different and it made me realize how different of a space I'm in; finally focusing on myself. Partly because I had to because I was such a mess, and partly because I realized that I deserve better than to be the proverbial 'doormat' everyone walks all over.
She basically talked about three things: 1) number twelve 2) sofaking 3)school/education/me being a teacher.
1) Where to start with number twelve. She talked about how he's really immature (TRUE) and ironically she described what he looked like to a T. It was weird. But anyways she told me that our relationship would've never worked because something was missing and that's why I cheated. Well, part of why. She basically reaffirmed all the reasons I've come up with (ex. I got scared because any time someone has every got close to me, they've left me or broken me, abandoned I believe is the word she used; I was afraid of someone actually caring that much about me, thus, I sabotaged it; I was unhappy with some of the things in our relationship and 2-3 days before we got in a huge fight about something and the day of he said something that really encouraged the idea that he thought I was going to destroy our relationship. And as you know, what you manifest, usually comes true.) She also discussed how I think that I miss him so much but what I miss mroe than anything about him is our friendship because he really was the best friend I've ever had. And she told me that I feel alone in missing him, but he misses me just as much or more than I miss him. She wants me to write him a letter or email but I'm not sure I want that. I think I just need to let it go until he's ready to be friends because for the first time in a long time, I've been doing really good for extended periods of time. I'm happy.
2) Sofaking. She talked about how there was a spark with him and how he provided something at the time that number twelve couldn't. She told me that sofaking saw a future with me, he thought we were going to be together and that when I wasn't interested in that, he was very upset and the only reason he's still with his girlfriend is because he doesn't know how to be alone. He also still wants to be with me apparently.
Then we talked about my assault. She told me that I've dreamt about it and what happened in my dreams is what actually happened. Nothing more, nothing less. And that I have no signs of PTSD which is almost unheard of in a situation like that but the reason I don't is because I dealt with it in a way that removed myself from the situation. I can see the assault happening, watching like a movie, but the girl in it isn't me. And that's how I am dealing with it and doing so well, because I removed myself from the experience and it will forever be nothing more than a memory.
3) She thinks it is incredibly important I get my education degree. Even if I don't want to use it right away, she thinks it's vital for me to finish this degree. She thinks that because I'm in a grade 1/2 class right now, that's why I don't like it. And I don't know how I feel about this. I'm unsure of where I want to go in my life. I am interested in law but I'm interested in education. Who knows.

This is the gist of what we talked about. And I let go of a whole lot that day. And I'm feeeeling good.