Thursday, October 6, 2011

it ain't complicated, but I've grown to hate it.

So I'm a little bit nervous because there's a good chance I'll see number twelve this weekend. And I'm nervous because for the first time in four years, I don't want to be with him. I'm doing really well with the whole situation. Sure, I miss him and he was a very important part of my life and he always will be but at the same time, I miss our friendship more than anything. I mean he was my best friend for a lonnnggg time. I trusted him more than anyone else and I told him things I wouldn't even consider saying out loud (or writing).
I don't know, I guess I'm nervous to see him because I'm afraid of the feelings coming back. You know, when you love someone and give them a piece of you that you can never get back? That's how I feel. I'm just afraid that when I see him my heart will know that he's holding a piece of it.
I'm doing good, I'm happy. I like where my life's at, my friends, school, you know? I am finally back to my old self. I'm finally the girl that doesn't need a boy again. And I don't want to screw that up.

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