You know it really bothers me that people are still judging me for cheating on number twelve. It's like they think I don't love him as much as I say I do or something. And to be honest, it pisses me right off. You are entitled to your opinion but you don't know the entire situation and you never ever will.
I get so frustrated because I love that kid more than most husbands and wives love each other. And I know that because of how much I love him and care about him despite all we've been through. I still see him and get weak. I still get giddy when I get a text message from him even when I'm so angry with him. And what most people don't understand is that despite the fact I would like to eventually end up with him, if he would be happier with someone else, I want him to be with someone else. I want him to have the best life in this world that he can have. I want him to be happy and I want every single one of his dreams to come true whether or not they include me.
Judge me all you want. Call me a bad person. Try and make me feel guilty. Whatever it is you need to do to feel better, do it. But know this:
I love that boy with a love that most people never experience. I believe in our love and the possibility of it. I am not a bad person, and I don't carry the weight of my mistakes anymore. I love him and I'm a good person that is deserving of someone like him. And he's a good person that deserves my love. And I don't really care what anyone else thinks because it is our relationship. And I don't need you to understand.
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