red wine and a broken heart.

whyyyyyy am I so sad? I swear it's when I don't go to the gym. When I go to the gym it's like I have enough endorphins to counterract it or I feel good because dudes check out every girl at the gym or I'm working on improving myself you know? But like really I just had such a long day and I was tired and now I'm just plain sad. I just miss the kid. And the worst part is that I know it's not right yet I'd give up everything, to be in his arms. I'd relive all the pain of the last three years, the last year in particular for one night in his arms. I mean how fucked up is that. I was a mess all of last year because of him and me and our relationship. And as happy as I've been, I'd be willing to feel it all again for a few hours of perfection.