Monday, September 12, 2011

one day we'll figure out what all this was for.

Last night I tried to sleep at like 10 and then I finally fell asleep around 11 but I had some interesting dreams/ got a text at like 2:30 am. So I ended up talking to LG for like an hour and a half. I guess her and PS broke up because there was some drunken incided that I'm not exactly sure what happened but basically he's being an immature 18 year old boy and she's just not okay being treated like that.
I understand where she's coming from but some of the things she said/ CW said are really hard for me to agree with. So I'd either keep my mouth shut or kindly explain another perspective. For example, she said it bothers her that he's so different around certain groups of people and when he was in highschool, etc. that he tries so hard to fit in and be like those people. And I tried to explain to her that not everyone knows who they are at 18 years old. I didn't. I still doubt myself some days. But LG has trouble understanding that because she has always and will always be who she is, no questions asked, no apologies and no excuses. And I find that incredibly intimidating.
It's been recognized that virgos are hard to understand because we are so malleable. We change and form based on who we're with and what we're doing because we focus all of our attention on everybody else and very little on ourselves. It's easier to criticize or praise everyone else than to accept our own faults or merits. I guess that's why I got so wrapped up in some of the messes I have. Because I never really take the time for myself to ensure I am happy and  comfortable in who I am.
I guess we're all just trying to find ourselves. You know? None of us know how it's all going to turn out. None of us know if who we are is going to be enough. Or if someone else will measure up.
I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore.

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