you gotta do what you've got to do.

i've decided i really need to spend some time working on myself. i was doing pretty good before and then the whole reading week thing happened then shit this weekend. i need to devote my life to me right now. getting healthier, physically, mentally and more than anything emotionally. i need to start being thankful for the things i do have instead of complaining about the things i don't. i need to really let myself have time for me every day. even if it's only twenty minutes, i need time other than the gym to just read or write or something. and not a broken 2 minutes here and three there, a full twenty minutes to just be me. i want to fully immerse myself in who i am, who i want to be, figure out what i really want in life, who i really want to be and then work towards that. this is about me and only me. and it is going to be absolutely brutally hard but that's just what i've gotta do.