I've also decided to be extremely mature (note my irony) and not text number twelve until he texts me. I just know that I need to focus on me and school and staying healthy and happy. I am in no way prepared to deal with our roller-coaster bullshit anytime soon and I know that it's going to take a lot for me to open up to him like before (well not really but he's going to have to make an effort).
I love him. Period. And I am always going to and I know that. But I love myself enough to know that he isn't always what is best for me. Yes, I want to be the girl who gets the fairy tale. The one who ends up after a long and treacherous love gets to be with the first boy she ever really fell in love with. And to be perfectly honest, he is probably the only boy I will ever love the way that I love him. But I want to keep my mind open. I'd say heart but we all know that's easier said than done.
Anyways I should really be doing homework right now but instead I'm going to watch gossip girl and likely eat something that isn't good for me (or an apple peanut butter because I am feeling very snacky!) I went to the gym today so I feel better about that but it was a half ass workout that's for sure. Oh well, better to go than not to go.
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