sunshine.

Emerson Drive played at the RDGCC last night and it was amazing. I love the Love of Children tournament. It's so fun because we just get to work outside in the tent party serving liquor to people with waaaay too much money while they enjoy a private concert.
Last year George Canyon played and it was really good but I LOVE Emerson Drive so it was really neat that they played this year. I just really enjoy a lot of their songs. I went to that concert with sunshine ironically. In all honesty it was a really good concert when we went too. And right now I am smiling/laughing at how ridiculously infatuated with that kid I was. It's funny really. I genuinely want good things for him because he is a wicked guy and one day he is going to make some girl extremely happy. His brother was there last night (ironically with PD's ex-girlfriend... random! But she's absolutely gorgeous so it's not surprising). It used to be really awkward when I saw SB or any of the B family actually. But Momma B is sooo nice to me all the time. Like she asks all about my life and how I'm doing, gives me a hug etc. And S used to just be polite, which is appreciated but a few weeks ago he started actually acknowledging that he knows me more personally and like talking to me and using my name etc. rather than simply being polite.
That really means a lot to me because I never meant to hurt sunshine. I just couldn't sit back and let him hurt me over and over and over again. I let it happen too many times and I was just so unbelievably consumed by everything about him. He was like my prince charming, you know; he was from a good family, very well-off, educated, kind, thoughtful, he opened my doors, paid for everything, just a real gentleman. We had amazing conversations that lasted for hours and hours and continued from the moment one of us woke up until the moment one of us fell asleep. It was a really good connection. But I wasn't willing to put up with the way he treated me while he dated someone else. In my opinion, if you are in a relationship, you should be dedicating your time to the person you are in a relationship. You should be opening up to them and you should be confiding in them and you should learn to trust them. I greatly appreciate all the things that sunshine did for me, I really do; I'm just very glad that I realized I needed to put myself first for awhile. I miss him some days and in all honesty, I really wish that we could be friends again. However, he's not ready and he may never be and I can accept that gracefully. I find it comforting to know that I meant enough to him for it to have all meant something, for him to still be hurting, for him to still care.