tc's gf.

she's a cool girl. we aren't really close but we get along and to be honest that's pretty good for us. i know that if i was dating a boy who had the same type of friendship that big brother and i have, i don't think i'd be okay with it. i'm not an overly jealous person but at the same time, i've been the best friend who a boy cheats with so i suppose in this case i look at it as a double standard.
she's been really good about the whole situation, checking on me because she understands as a girl what it's like over how a boy reacts which is all tc has. he's usually pretty good too but he's not here so he can't just give me a hug and tell me it's gonna be okay (which is what boys are best at).
yesterday i told her i apologized and she was like wow that was braveee! and yeah it was ballsy but at the same time, it's who i am. i fucked up and she deserves an apology at the very least from me. she's like when sofa king talks to you all you need to say is yo bud, fuck off. haha the shitty part of that is that i'm not that person, i put other people before myself to a fault which is i think one of the reasons why this whole mess happened. because for one moment, i said fuck this, fuck the consequences, fuck everybody else, right here, right now this is what i want. and i did. i knew it was wrong.
she also told me that she feels bad because i have possibly the worst luck imaginable with boys. i fall for untouchable boys. i fall for boys who are nice as best friends, jerks as boy friends. she also pointed out when i do find a nice boy it's gonna be so easy for me because it will be so different, i won't have to be treated like i have let other boys because this boy is just gonna take care of me.
i dunno she's looking out for me i suppose even though some of her advice is hard, life is so what can ya do.