i'm absolutely mind boggled right now. i'm shaking. and occasionally crying and i don't know how to handle this. it's going to break his heart, it will destroy him. and it means i'm going to lose him. that's the part i can't handle. i've accepted my actions and that i cannot change it and i've been trying so hard to move on and be comfortable with my decision. the hardest part is that i'm not even allowed to talk to sofa king. like at all. and i get her reasoning but it's not going to change anything, it still happened, they're not dating like the whole situation is a joke. it is a completely fucked, went too far clusterfuck of a situation.
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