seven years.

today was nice. it was nice to catch up. as much as we fight, we're both always going to be there. it's just the way it is. we both care too much. i mean we have fought so many times. and you blame me and i blame you and bah. i think many of our problems root in your inability to take responsibility for your actions. but it's something i've accepted about you. it frusterates me to no end some days but i've learned to deal with it and for the most part let it go. i think you get flustered with the fact that i'm a different person around you. it just happens. we both are looking at our friendship as the people we used to be and the people we used to be friends with. but things have changed in the last 7 years. and that's okay. it's nice to know you're still here if i need something. i mean you were choked the other day, when i said it didn't really bother me you were moving. it's life, and we aren't the people we used to be. we don't hang out. we don't really do anything but talk. which maybe we needed for awhile. maybe it'll become a quality friendship instead of quantity. i think it's hard for the two of us to have new friends and be closer. cause for 6 of the last 7 years we had other friends but we were best friends. and 9 times out of 10, we hung out. but grade 12 changes things. and its really hard sometimes. i mean i get jealous that you are close with other people sometimes, but i know when you need something, you're going to come to me. and that may not be great, being your convenience, but i'm not here for convenience anymore and i think that bothers you. i think you're really jealous of my other friends and i think you've realized that you need me more than i need you. thats a really hard truth to face, but its just the way it is. you made friends with people that would party and i made friends that support me instead of knock me. and the one friend who was most supportive, controlling and damaging to my health too, i'll admit, but the one friend that supported what i wanted most, is no longer in my life. and to a certain degree, i want him to be just so that you don't think you won. cause it wasn't about you. and i don't really miss him, i sometimes do, i miss what we had and the little things, but i know i'm going to be okay. and i think thats the difference. you need me, you know it. and you know i don't need you as much.
seven years. as i filled out that survey, seven years i realized. that's a long time to be best friends with someone. i love that i've had someone there for that long, throught the vital times of my life. and i love that you will always be there, if i ever need anything. i think it's great that we have new friends and are experiencing new things. i think it's awesome to catch up like we did today. and i'm really glad we did. but now i'm just excited for you to move and for me to visit you. and for life to continue to change. i was afraid at first, but change is inevitable. so i may as well embrace it.