here's the issue. once i get sad, i can't get unsad. i start thinking about all the shitty things in my life and then i just get even more sad and depressed. i start thinking about number 12 and how much i miss him and how much i miss my niece and the rest of my family. i hate not being home for birthdays and such. i just get into this rut and have a pathetic little pitty party for myself for leaving rd to get a higher education. i hate it. i need to grow up but i just don't want to. i want to be able to go wherever i want, whenever i want.
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