inspiration is an interesting thing. it can come from the most unexpected places, the most unexpected people. i feel like there is a serious lack of inspiration in my life. i used to write every night. not like blogging but like write things that i couldn't say out loud to anyone, even a blog. still you don't know half of how i truly feel because it's just too personal to share. i think only one person reads this on occasion and i like that however the idea of exposing my thoughts and crazy notions of how the world should really be terrify me. i used to drive downtown to just breathe. at home, i drove out to the country just to drive. driving really does relax me. it's like a mental break, only it's enveloped in my mind racing with thoughts.
he was inspiring. extremely inspiring. ironically, tragedy inspires my writing. who am i kidding, tragedy inspires most writing. i guess that's why i wrote so much then. it was a way to release some of the heart wrenching pain i felt every minute of every day.
it's weird, you know i still think about him every day. there isn't a day i get through without something reminding me of him. i guess that's what love is; but i'm not sad. most days i feel really good about it. it's just the moments of weakness i get every now and then that make me wonder if it was the right decision, if i really can live without him in my life.
will this feeling ever go away?
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