How do you balance self-love?

I think that that's something that has come up a lot for me lately. And I'm hoping that one of these days I really start to believe it. Not for a little while, while it boosts me up but down to the core. I don't see myself the way that others do and I know that. And I know we all look at our flaws and focus on things other people don't even notice about us until we point it out, but I think that my self perception is even more distorted than most. I have spoke about this before but I am consciously aware that I'm in pretty good shape and that I am not the size that I see. I've never been a tiny girl and it's always been a bit of a complex for me because I don't possess the petite, short, or overly feminine qualities of even focusing on makeup or hair or nails. And that's a very catch all judgment of women and a poor description of the beauty and abilities and unique talents that women possess. But those are things that society tells us women should be. Well I'm not petite and I played sports and I was one of the guys. And now I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that who I am as a human being is beautiful. I spend my days building up children and teaching them to love themselves for who they are. Teaching them to find their strengths and passions and own them because they have something exquisite that only they can bring to the world. Teaching them to assess and block out the negative energy and comments and attention they will receive. Teaching them they're stronger than that. But I'm a hypocrite because I don't believe those things myself. I'm trying to, I'm working at it, I want to. But it takes time to change the core of a person. It takes time to develop positive thought patterns about the goodness of myself. To learn to love myself as unconditionally as I love others. That's always been a weakness for me and I think a part of that is I'm afraid to become too self-involved. I know the type of full-out commitment I have when I finally decide to do something and I'm afraid I'll lose an altruistic part of me. I'm afraid I won't be able to balance self-confidence with humility.