If you won't save her, please just take her.

J is honestly the best thing for me right now. This morning I texted him and I was like I just need to tell someone who isn't going to patronize me. And I love my friends and I am grateful for their support but most of them have never been in a situation where their parent is facing a terminal illness. They haven't felt what it feels like to know your parent is going to die and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And I think that it's just nice to talk to him about it because he treats me normal. He knows me well enough to know that I will talk about it when I want to talk about it. When I gave him an update he just went straight into conversation about it rather than being like, "I don't know what to say" or "I'm sorry". I think that as much as I love people caring about me it's like that added line just doesn't help. I recognize that you cannot do or say anything to make me feel better. In fact, I cannot do or say anything to make myself or my mom feel better. That's all I want, is for her to not suffer. And I want her to recognize that her death is imminent.