Independence.

My mom has been single for years now. And awhile back she told me it's okay to be independent but it's okay to need people too, you don't have to be alone. For the first time, I really understood what she meant last night. I went to PD's party and I showed up alone and then I did something for AM. PW came with me on the errand for AM and as we were walking to my vehicle he's like I can drive if you want? And I'm like you're wasted? I think I'll take my chances. The roads were super terrible so I get why he offered but I was like it's fine. I'm a good driver, I do this a lot. And then my wind shield wiper was covered in ice so I pulled over to clean it off. He's like do you want me to do it? I'm like no I can it's fine.
When I got back in the car he's like you're like really... Really... And I'm like really what? Independent? And he's like yes.
Well I'm so sorry for you that I'm not a needy girl. I think that's something that intimidates men. They want to feel needed and I get that because we all want to feel needed. But can I at least choose what I need from a man? Like I want that one day but I'm also not afraid to live my life without a boy. In a lot of ways, it's much easier alone.
Is it wrong that I need a man for sex and cuddling anytime I want? That's what I need from a man in my life. The rest are just things I want. I maintain the belief that I want a man to take care of me but I don't want to need him to take care of me. That's a major difference. I want a man around that wants to do things for me not that needs to because I can't. And sure he can mow the lawn or fix the car if that tickled his fancy but I want it to be because he wants to, not because he feels he needs to.