JP and I kind of talked about number twelve tonight. And the other day she asked me if I still saw a future with him. And I kind of lied. I gave an ambiguous not really answer kind of answer. Tonight she told me she doesn't think this is the end but she's proud of me for the way I'm handling it. And the way I am burying it enough to live life without him and have fun as a 21 year old.
That meant a lot to me. I needed to hear that. She told me that there was something she saw in the way we look at each other. The way we are around each other. And it's easier when I don't see him. It's easier when I'm here and having fun and such. But I drove by him on Thanksgiving Monday and my stomach dropped and my heart melted. It ached. It longed.
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