I'm a little bit sad. And I've been so busy with school that I haven't had a chance to really think about it or when it comes into my mind I force myself to not think about it. I really miss number twelve. And to be perfectly honest, it's not in a way that I really want to be with him because I'm not really sure I want to be with anyone, I just miss our conversations, our friendship. When you're friends with someone for a long time and then you date for as long as we did, they become a really big part of your life. And he was, he wasn't just my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And that's what I miss.
I sent him that letter about a week and a half ago and I'll be honest, I'm pretty sad he never said anything at all to me. I mean I told him that I'd be here when he was ready, and I will and he already knows that. But that doesn't make it any easier. I still miss him and I'm sad that he's not a part of my life. My entire world is changing again, I'm becoming better friends with different people and it's actually been really nice. I mean I still have some of my close friends in my life but becoming closer with people like DK and JP are really good people for me to have in my life. CM and I are becoming better friends too and it's really nice because he's a good guy and I like chilling in the library with him. (haha I just realized I spent a lot of time in the library with male CM's because there is two of them!) I also enjoy studying with S' CM, he's a good guy too. I guess you don't always get to choose who's important to you at the times they are. But the people in your life that matter will matter when they do and it's just something to embrace.
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