So this morning based on my horoscope I kind of got the courage to tell number twelve that we needed to talk about everything. i got the courage to tell him it wasn't okay to treat me like he has been. And it's not okay to use me. I think that's one of the first times and few times I've ever really stood up for myself and said it how I saw it. I can stand up for everyone else, but when it comes to me I just kind of let people use me.
So I told him that we needed to talk or we were goign to have the conversation at the wrong time in the wrong place and he would likely end up embarrassed. He picked me up around for and we went for like a half hour drive. Then we sat outside my house in his car for another hour and a half just talking. And for the first time in a long time, we were both completely sober, speaking honestly about ourselves and our relationship and everything in between. It was really nice to just talk, you know. I mean I feel like we got a lot out in the open and we can move forward in our relatinoship. Not like a dating relationship just like the relationship that two people have with each other, you know? We opened up some old wounds and we closed some other ones. It was just a really good heart to heart discussion of where we're at.
And there are things that I worry about for him and don't agree with but at the end of the day, I love him and I'm really proud of how far he's come. I proud of who he is, who he wants to be and why. I understand why he's been the way he's been. And I just really want him to be happy in life.
I have to go meet DM before he leaves for Europe tomorrow for coffee and then I'm going to the gym. But for the first time in a long time, I'm going to the gym to work out instead of forget everything else.
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