i used to think i was in love with sunshine. and i guess to a certain degree i was because i will always care about him. but it wasn't the same kind of love. it was that high school infatuation of the first person i ever really felt a connection with. and we never even dated but i was crazy about him and i gave up who i was for him. we would talk all the time about nothing and we enjoyed doing dumb things together and he was a good friend for a long time. he was important to me because at the time, he provided me with what i needed.
the love i feel for number twelve is different. and i'm not sure i can even explain it. but number twelve is the kind of person who cares a lot. he cares more than most boys but he'd never admit it to you. he would do anything just to make you smile. he says things in the most serious of tones that make me laugh. he taught me so much about myself. he made me believe in things i never really believed in before. and we've been so on and off because we're just so young that this type of relationship is scary. and we challenge each other. and he pushes me to be the best version of myself. but he's just so nice, he is thoughtful and clever and honest and loyal. and i think that it's such a different type of love. i don't feel pressure around him. he's just the kind of person that i know i could be happy with because of who he is.
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