Torn.

I am so incredibly torn right now. I cannot decide whether or not I want to absolutely experience Galapagos and allow my sister's ideas to guide my trip or to maybe pull back a little bit and save some of the money for a down payment.
I am so torn. I texted J and said, "do you think I should be a responsible adult and invest in my future or take full advantage of the blessing of my trip and the experience as an investment in the soul? I am incredibly torn. "
He texted back, "travelling is the only thing I don't feel guilty about spending money on... but money in the bank is nice too. So I'm no help."
I was like yeah that was not helpful and sent him a picture of Ozil to show him my disapproval of his response. I am a highly indecisive, overly analytical human being so as I explained to him, this trip has become more about what my sister wants specifically than what I want. And it's not that I don't want it, it's that I am less assertive than her. I told her to tell me what she'd like to do and she did. And honestly, it all sounds wonderful. And they've booked the trip based on that and it's really very incredible and I'm so excited. If there is anyone in the world I don't mind spending money on, it's her.
There's a part of me though that looks at it and wonders, should I spend this money on the trip or on my future. I could cut out some stuff and probably spend much of the money saving for a house or going to an Arsenal game.
At the same time, a part of me is thinking you're not spending it all so you already have more than before... enjoy the experience.
Thoughts?